Jul 8, 2009, 12:58 PM EDT
Paul Sullivan of the Chicago Tribune notes that perhaps Ryan Dempster’s broken toe is actually the dugout’s revenge for Carlos Zambrano beating up the Gatorade machine
last month. And in the spirit of busting your toe while trying to
celebrate a victory, Sullivan also passes along 10 “of the more foolish
Cubs injuries in history”:
1. Sammy Sosa went on the disabled list with back spasms after sneezing.
2. Kerry Wood injured his back while slipping in his hot tub.
3. Jose Cardenal couldn’t play one day because he said his eyelids were swollen shut when he woke up.
4. Zambrano suffered an elbow injury the Cubs said was related to spending too much time on his laptop.
5. Alfonso Soriano strained a calf while making a hop during a catch, though he denied the two were related.
6. Mike Harkey injured his knee while turning a cartwheel on the field before a game.
7. Kyle Farnsworth injured a knee after kicking an electric fan in the tunnel between the clubhouse and the dugout.
8. Steve Trout went on the disabled list after falling off an exercise bike.
9. Felix Pie twisted a testicle in spring training.
10. Mike Remlinger sprained his pinkie finger when he got it caught between two recliners while relaxing in the Cubs clubhouse.
Normally this is where I’d make a snarky comment about swollen
eyelids or twisted testicles, but two months ago I burned both of my
hands–to the point that the skin was bubbling off and the marks are
still somewhat visible–while trying to transport a bowl of Spaghettios
from the kitchen to the couch. Seriously. Life is dangerous, people.
Wear a helmet.
- Tony La Russa denies that Kirk Gibson’s job is safe 9
- Pirates activate Andrew McCutchen from the disabled list 1
- HBT Daily: They’ve dropped six straight, but the Pirates may be the Wild Card favorites 2
- The Diamondbacks plan to bring back Kirk Gibson for some reason 30
- And That Happened: Monday’s scores and highlights 32
- Numbers game: Tigers fall victim to baseball’s speed obsession 45
- Twins prospect Byron Buxton done for season after concussion 3
- Let’s speed up the pace of play. But let’s not be gimmicky about it. Let’s just enforce the rules. 74
- Mike Matheny addresses turmoil in Ferguson: “It’s a sad situation. It’s a tough situation for our city” (125)
- Jayson Werth clocked at 105 m.p.h. in a 55 zone, is charged with reckless driving (88)
- Here’s today’s dose of barfy Derek Jeter sentiment (82)
- Baseball is dying, you guys (78)
- A vote for Tom Werner for commissioner is a vote to return to the dark ages (78)