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And That Happened: Thursday's Scores and Highlights

Aug 7, 2009, 5:44 AM EST

Smoltz.jpgYankees 13, Red Sox 6: Lord, deliver us from Red Sox-Yankees
baseball, because this game was positively interminable. Bob has the details here. And while
we’re petitioning the Lord here, let us ask Him to prevail upon one
John Smoltz (3.1 IP, 9 H, 8 ER) to hang up his spikes, because this is
just way too painful for a fan of 22 years to witness. And what’s with
you, Joba? What happened to that fast-working, strike-throwing ace we
saw four or five days ago? Seven walks? 108 pitches in five innings? Is
there some NESN/YES deal in place none of us are aware of that pays
everyone by the hour?

Phillies 3, Rockies 1: I can’t tell you how thrilled we NL East
fans are that the Phillies got Cliff Lee. Truly, we’re so, so happy for
Philadelphia. The figurative cherry on top of our giant ice cream
sundae of misery went seven innings, giving up one run and striking out
nine.

Angels 9, White Sox 5: Jon Danks gave up seven runs on nine hits
and three walks in 6 1/3 innings. “I got my butt kicked, that’s all you
can say.” Well in that case, let’s move on.

Rangers 6, Athletics 4: I gotta start reading more prospect
books and stuff in the spring. Even though I’ve noted Tommy Hunter’s
existence this season — even wrote about him once — I see “T. Hunter”
in the box score and my first thought is “When did Torii Hunter get
traded to Texas and why is he pitching?” My second thought is “I wonder
if Tab Hunter is still alive?” He was in “Damn Yankees,” you know, so
there’s a baseball connection. So I went and checked Wikipedia. Yep,
still kickin’ at 78. And though I knew Tab Hunter and Tony Perkins were
both gay, I had no idea that they were a thing for a while. Too bad it
didn’t work out for those two. Tony Perkins played Jimmy Piersall once,
you know. Basically everything’s about baseball. Oh, Tommy/Torii/Tab
pitched well (7 P, 3 H, 2 ER).

Nationals 12, Marlins 8: The Fish blow a 6-0 lead and wind up
getting slaughtered — and swept — by Washington. Ryan Zimmerman
walked, hit two singles, a triple, a homer and had three RBIs. Elijah
Dukes was 3-4 with four RBI.

Tigers 7, Orioles 3: Alex Avila — the son of the Tigers’
assistant GM — made his major league debut and hit a two-out RBI
double in the third inning. The only thing worse than working with the
boss’ kid is when the boss’ kid actually knows what he’s doing so you
can’t claim to have been given the shaft. Game story: “Porcello (10-7)
became just the second pitcher in franchise history with double digits
in wins at the age of 20 or younger, joining Dave Rozema, who had 11
victories before his 21st birthday.” Of course Rozema never won double digits again after his 15-win, 16-CG, age-20 season in 1977. Thanks, Ralph Houk!

Indians 2, Twins 1: That’s three earned runs in 11 innings
pitched since returning to the bigs for Fausto Carmona. That’s
deceiving, though, because he’s only struck out three guys, walked
seven and has given up ten hits in those innings. Oh, and his season
ERA is now at 6.66, so like that whole Satan/Goethe/Faust/Fausto
thing that everyone always talks about is just underscored now. Wait,
you mean I’m the only one who brings that up? Moving right along . . .
If I were a betting man, I’d bet that 2007 was just one of those
magical one-off years for Carmona, and that he’ll never touch that
level again. How many personnel decisions did Mark Shapiro make based
on the opposite assumption?

Dodgers 5, Braves 4: Three-run walkoff homer for Andre Ethier. I didn’t see it, so let’s hear from tHeMARksMiTh, who did:

It was signed, sealed, and delivered with Soriano coming in
for the ninth, and though it was only a two-run lead, it felt like it
was five. But he just didn’t have his command, and two pitches before
Ethier hit that home run I said, “I don’t know what’s wrong with
Soriano tonight, but I don’t have a good feeling about this.”

God damn it that one hurt.
 

Royals 8, Mariners 2: Bruce Chen wins the “scattered” award for the night, by allowing ten hits in 6.2 innings yet only giving up two runs.

Diamondbacks 11, Pirates 6: Wow, when the Pirates lose in extra
innings, they lose big. Even Dan Haren had an RBI in the 12th., and he
thought he had the night off. Pirate reliever Steven Jackson gave up
five runs on four hits in 12th, and was demoted to Triple-A
Indianapolis right after the game.

Padres 8, Mets 3: New York has lost six in a row in Petco Park.
Strange place to be having trouble. The Padres extended Bud Black’s
contract through 2010 after the game.

  1. u - Aug 7, 2009 at 1:01 PM

    Craig: Regarding your Rangers Box Score Blurb and comments: What is wrong with you? Do you really consider yourself a serious writer? Do you think pontificating upon sexual orientation is A. Funny? B. Relevant? or C. Appropriate? How about None of the freakin Above, Craig? Are you gay? You bring things up that so often have no relevance to anything, perhaps because your position has spoiled you into thinking you are wittier than you really are, that you think you are so clever, when you actually come off like a juvenile giggling in a locker room. I think if you are publicly hetero, then you must be a closet gay because otherwise you would not be focusing on it all. Do us all a favor, go buy a David Sedaris book, get in touch with your own orientation, and leave it out of Baseball. For Christ’s sake, Craig, perhaps you could write something substantive for a change or at least simply relevant. Quite frankly, you suck!

  2. usuck - Aug 7, 2009 at 1:02 PM

    Craig: Regarding your Rangers Box Score Blurb and comments: What is wrong with you? Do you really consider yourself a serious writer? Do you think pontificating upon sexual orientation is A. Funny? B. Relevant? or C. Appropriate? How about None of the freakin Above, Craig? Are you gay? You bring things up that so often have no relevance to anything, perhaps because your position has spoiled you into thinking you are wittier than you really are, that you think you are so clever, when you actually come off like a juvenile giggling in a locker room. I think if you are publicly hetero, then you must be a closet gay because otherwise you would not be focusing on it all. Do us all a favor, go buy a David Sedaris book, get in touch with your own orientation, and leave it out of Baseball. For Christ’s sake, Craig, perhaps you could write something substantive for a change or at least simply relevant. Quite frankly, you suck!

  3. Craig Calcaterra - Aug 7, 2009 at 1:06 PM

    At least I know not to double post, Suck.

  4. marco - Aug 7, 2009 at 1:44 PM

    You’re a Mets fan right? Figures. The rest of the NL East fans are wondering what the hell happened to that garbage squad.
    Maybe when the hated Phillies win again, Chase Utley will add “mother” to his world champions rant.
    I’m sure you won’t be attending any games there because of the media-hyped threat of getting killed in the parking lot by a snowball meant for a badly-dressed Santa Claus that a fat, cheesesteak-loving governor put him up to throw.

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