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How not to steal a baseball monument

Sep 9, 2009, 7:00 PM EDT

ripken_monument_090909.jpgFour men have been arrested on charges of felony theft and destruction of property, accused of removing a four-foot aluminum monument to Cal Ripken from outside Camden Yards on Wednesday.

It took police all of two hours to track them down, thanks to a number of mistakes they made along the way

— They bit off more than they could chew. They took Cal Ripken’s No. 8. There were a number of others to be had nearby, including Brooks Robinson’s No. 5, Jim Palmer’s No. 22 and Eddie Murray’s No. 33. Yet they chose Ripken. You think the police put out an “all-points bulletin” for Eddie Murray? I don’t think so.

— No disguise. The men were caught on surveillance cameras. If you’re going to break the law, wear a mask. Even Phoenix flight attendants know that.

— No discipline. The officers spotted the giant No. 8 in the back of a pickup truck when they responded to a disorderly conduct report. Mr. Blonde, Mr. Pink, Mr. White and Nice Guy Eddie, is that you?

— No money for legal counsel.

There was no indication they had attorneys.

Come on people. Do I have to do everything?


If you Twitter, and find a life of crime to be incredibly exhausting, follow me at @Bharks.

  1. JERRY - Sep 9, 2009 at 7:43 PM

    you seem like and read like an idiot. why put race into such a story. the nation is as tired of your junk as all others

  2. Bob Harkins - Sep 9, 2009 at 7:48 PM

    Umm … what reference to race? Any such reference you have spotted — which I have not — was unintended. Just trying to poke fun at a couple of inept criminals.

  3. Hi - Sep 9, 2009 at 8:51 PM

    Actually Bob, I think that’s Jerry’s point. He/she injected race into an article which has….absolutely no mention of race. Awesome how that works out right?

  4. Bob Harkins - Sep 9, 2009 at 8:59 PM

    Think I’ll just go back to watching the “Reservoir Dogs” trailer and napping on the pillows I stole from Fred Meyers.

  5. Nick - Sep 9, 2009 at 10:56 PM

    Two things: First, there was no race reference… as you alluded to, someone has obviously never seen Reservoir Dogs.
    Secondly, we need to stop referring to ridiculous criminals below the age of 30 as men and women. These weren’t men attempting this obviously drunken stunt (it probably started as a dare). They are boys. Even if this was a group of 25-30 year olds attempting this, they would be boys. It reminds me of the “woman” who punched the mentally handicapped kid in Texas over a ball. It really does a disservice to the few of us young adults that have some idea of basic social norms and know how to function as adults.

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