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They're greasing poles in Philadelphia

Oct 21, 2009, 9:50 PM EDT

Phillies-Fans.jpgApparently, Phillies fans are good climbers, and the local authorities just aren’t going to take it anymore. (From the Inquirer, via The 700 Level):

City workers have greased poles along South Broad Street in an effort to deter revellers from climbing them during any wild celebrations that might follow a possible Phillies victory tonight.

Street lights, signs, bus shelters and even trees have been coated by a yellowish goo that bears a resemblance to petroleum jelly.

Click here for photographic evidence of Philly tax dollars at work (something Craig has already had some fun with). You’ll see workers greasing a light pole, a pay phone (is that really necessary?) and – yes – a tree. (if a tree is greased in the forest … oh never mind).

Philadelphia police Lt. Frank Vanore said police will be out in force tonight in an effort to prevent all the zaniness that happened after last year’s title-clinching win over the Rays, which included looting, throwing things, and yes, climbing on stuff.

I’m all for preventing looting and violence. But greasing trees? We can’t do better than that?
If the police really wanted to make a statement, they’d break out the complete Kevin McCallister playbook: Coat the steps outside the stadium with ice. Rig flying irons and paint cans to swing down from street lights at head-level. And of course, tarantulas!

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  1. Old Gator - Oct 21, 2009 at 10:50 PM

    Probably a good time to do it too, since the Bums are pulling their roll-over act again tonight. I guess they just want to get home in time to hose down their houses before the next round of Santa Anas – and who could blame them?
    Meanwhile, the municipal authorities in Philly shouldn’t be wasting taxpayer money on expensive gels or oils to immunize their poles against the boorishly marinated. All they need to do is wipe them down with some open-faced cheese steak sandwiches. You couldn’t get a treefrog to stick to a surface that’s been smeared with all that grease.

  2. JL - Oct 21, 2009 at 11:19 PM

    Allusions to Home Alone make this an automatic WIN.

  3. hop - Oct 22, 2009 at 12:00 AM

    Hey Grease THIS!! Got news for ya! Yanks are gonna smoke that pathetic pitching so get used to it brother!! BRING IT!!

  4. Malarie - Oct 22, 2009 at 1:07 AM

    I like the cheese steak idea, but feed it to us instead. Drunk people will opt out of climbing when they can get free food.

  5. Samuel Boundy - Oct 22, 2009 at 1:12 AM

    I don’t know about you, but I feel invincible after a cheesesteak. F the yankees!

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