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Biggest postseason shocker: Waterfall swimmer not drunk, just stupid

Oct 23, 2009, 12:37 PM EDT

David Brown of Yahoo! Sports put together all the amusing screen captures of the doofus Angels fan who went swimming in the outfield waterfall last night.
Security took their sweet time chasing after him, so the guy was basically able to go through an entire routine of jumps and dives, finishing each move with that same hands-in-the-air pose Olympic gymnasts have when they successfully land on the mat.
You’d assume that someone willing to go swimming in a waterfall built on rocks in the outfield of a ballpark would have been motivated by the copious amounts of booze running through them, but amazingly police said afterward that 29-year-old Jose Cervera wasn’t even drunk.
Of course, isn’t it actually worse if you’re acting like that and you’re not even drunk? If he wasn’t drunk then he’s just an idiot. But then again I guess we knew that already. Anyway, Cervera initially seemed like bad luck when the Angels coughed up a 4-0 lead soon after his performance, but then they stormed back to win 7-6.
Sure, he was probably in a holding cell by the time Brian Fuentes wriggled out of the ninth-inning jam, but there’s no need to get technical about good-luck charms. I’m really hoping this guy becomes the new Rally Monkey.

  1. Alan - Oct 23, 2009 at 2:46 PM

    Hey Aaron Gleeman your the new monkey for even writing about this stupidity. Where did you get your degree at The National Enquirer? What a stupid column.

  2. erok - Oct 23, 2009 at 2:58 PM

    what’s this about your new monkey?

  3. Not Alan - Oct 23, 2009 at 3:28 PM

    Hey Alan, here’s to you for not knowing the difference between “your and “you’re.” Oh, and also here’s to you for not realizing you need a comma between “degree” and “at.” I’d be amazed if they let you pass middle school with that impressive display of grammar.

  4. monkey spanker - Oct 23, 2009 at 3:29 PM

    spank the monkey you dirty boy Aaron………

  5. I'm not Alan either - Oct 23, 2009 at 3:33 PM

    Wait a minute, he should have written, Where did you get YOU ARE degree at The National Enquirer? What a stupid column.

  6. I'm not Alan either - Oct 23, 2009 at 3:36 PM

    Not Alan, check your pant’s – OR YOU ARE PANT’S – I THINK YOU MESSED YOUR DRAW’S UP. :)

  7. I'm not Alan either - Oct 23, 2009 at 3:36 PM

    Not Alan, check your pant’s – OR YOU ARE PANT’S – I THINK YOU MESSED YOUR DRAW’S UP. :)

  8. Harold Richard - Oct 23, 2009 at 4:31 PM

    This is on the same level about Jeter the theif

  9. Who's Alan - Oct 23, 2009 at 5:14 PM

    I’m not Alan either – you dill weed. It’s pants, not pant’s. And what are draw’s? You have a thing for apostrophes? Check back, Not Alan was correct. Sheesh. Simpleton.

  10. E - Oct 23, 2009 at 5:28 PM

    To “I’m not Alan either”:
    The criticism of Alan’s misuse of your and you’re was in reference to his first use of the word. He said “Hey Aaron Gleeman your the new…” when it should have said “Hey Aaron Gleeman you’re the new…”
    Before you try to get wise with someone, you should make sure you can read correctly.
    Personally, I was interested to read that he wasn’t drunk. Thanks for the article, Aaron.

  11. on aaron's side - Oct 24, 2009 at 2:10 AM

    Uhhh, all you dousche bags are idiots. If (here’s ya one) YALL are so good at writing columns get a job as a writer. But YOU’RE probably not going to be able to do that with 6th grade education. The article was well written so back off.

  12. Mo Green - Oct 24, 2009 at 6:43 AM

    Bad job by Fox showing said idiot. Bad job by Alan, being an idiot. Good job by Aaron writing about said idiot.
    Every time one of these attention-seeking reality-show wannabes gets attention it encourages the rest of their disturbed, idiotic, talentless brethren. I’m surprised it wasn’t Spencer Pratt, and disappointed that this guy didn’t hurt himself. So also Boooo Anaheim on not having sharper edges on their water landscaping.

  13. data recovery programs - Feb 5, 2010 at 12:06 PM

    This is without a doubt among the most appealing websites I have seen. It is so easy to assume you’ve seen it all, but there’s really still some good stuff on the internet, and I think your website is really one of the few!

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