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Dodgers' offseason: Lawyers, guns and money

Nov 3, 2009, 11:38 PM EDT

Thumbnail image for padilla.jpgWhat has been a disconcerting offseason for the Los Angeles Dodgers just got a little bit weirder.

I’m talking Warren Zevon weird.

Things have gone downhill since L.A. was ousted quite easily by the Phillies in the NLCS. There is of course, the ongoing saga of the McCourt divorce, which includes a non-stop stream of he-said, she-said brief filings, and sordid accusations that would make the Gosselins blush.

It’s been so much fun that there is now a new blog devoted to the proceedings called – I kid you not – (What’s next?

But the menacing cloud swirling around Chavez Ravine got a little more toxic on Tuesday when the news came down that pitcher Vicente Padilla had been shot in the leg.

Details have been sketchy, but it appears Padilla was at a shooting range outside of Managua in his native Nicaragua when he accidentally shot himself.

At least Plaxico Burress was in a dark nightclub with a pistol in his pants when he accidentally wounded himself. You would think Padilla would be a little safer in a controlled environment. Then again, maybe they play things kind of fancy free at Nicaragua gun ranges.

I wouldn’t make light of the incident if Padilla were badly hurt, but as he was hospitalized only 40 minutes before being released “without gravity,” I figure it’s fair game.

Besides, the Dodgers don’t seem too concerned, as GM Ned Colletti said after the incident (through Tweeting L.A. Times writer Dylano Hernandez) that his team is still interested in re-signing Padilla.

I’d suggest L.A. hire a bodyguard to protect the wild-shooting pitcher from himself, but maybe the Dodgers don’t want to go down that road again.

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  1. John - Nov 4, 2009 at 12:45 AM

    “Now I’m hiding in Honduras, I’m a desperate man. Send lawyers, guns and money, the schit has hit the fan!” WZ was a musical genius. RIP. PHILLIES IN SEVEN!!! MARK MY WORDS!!!

  2. Old Gator - Nov 4, 2009 at 5:09 AM

    You’re a Warren Zevon fan, eh? Okay, in that case I forgive you for all these stupid “mark my words” posts. If the Phillies win this thing at this point, they will do it accidentally, like a martyr. Come on down here some time and over a freshly made pina colada with my own coconuts, I’ll tell you the story about when we taught the piano player at Sammy’s Famous Romanian Steakhouse on the lower east side of New York how to sing “Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner” in Yiddish.
    But I gotta tell ya, that Padilla story reminds me of that famous photo of Zevon and Hunter S. Thompson playing with .38 and .44 pistols at Thopmpson’s backyard picnic table.

  3. Craig Calcaterra - Nov 4, 2009 at 6:21 AM

    I am unbelievably disappointed. Before I went to bed last night I saw the Padilla thing and thought “man, between this and the McCourts, I’m DEFINITELY using the Zevon reference in a post tomorrow.”
    Stupid Pacific time. 😉

  4. Old Gator - Nov 4, 2009 at 8:38 AM

    Warren, like Bird, lives, Craig. Just wake up earlier next time and believe me, you’ll find another song title or lyric that suits the situation. Major sports in America are nothing if not perpetu

  5. Old Gator - Nov 4, 2009 at 8:39 AM

    …ally absurd, and thus fertile opportunity to analogize Warren lurks around every headline.

  6. Z Man - Nov 4, 2009 at 9:32 AM

    Excitable Boy, Poor Poor Pitiful Me, Mr. Bad Example and My Shit’s F**ked Up would also apply in Mr. Padilla’s situation. Long live Warren Zevon!

  7. Bob Timmermann - Nov 4, 2009 at 10:10 AM

    The LA Times writer is Dylan Hernandez, not Dylano. I suppose he added the O for the sake of coming up with a Twitter handle.

  8. John - Nov 4, 2009 at 10:59 AM

    Yes, I am a fan of WZ and proud of it. And when the Phillies win this thing I may just take you up on that offer but only if you teach me to sing “Roland…” in yiddish as well. PHILLIES IN SEVEN!!! MARK MY WORDS!!!

  9. Bob Harkins - Nov 4, 2009 at 12:17 PM

    The power of Warren … I had no idea. :)

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