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What the heck is a "pillow contract?"

Jan 8, 2010, 1:39 PM EDT

That’s what Boras called Beltre’s deal with the Red Sox a little while ago. When the roomful of reporters couldn’t grok his meaning, he explained what he meant:

“A pillow contract is, basically, you lay down, it’s comfortable, it’s soft, it’s there. But the fact of the matter is it’s not with you all the time. That’s a one-year contract. Your pillow, you leave it, you come back, it’s there,” said Boras. “Short-term, you use it for a little bit, then you move on.”

Few people know this, but Boras has been giving nicknames to his contracts for years. For example, given that the Cardinals are never going to be rid of it, Boras refers to the Holliday’s deal a “herpes contract.”

  1. John Willumsen - Jan 8, 2010 at 1:45 PM

    You know a sports joke is gold when you can read it aloud to a co-worker who wouldn’t know a bat if it hit them in the face and they still laugh. The humor of herpes is universal.

  2. Ryan - Jan 8, 2010 at 2:14 PM

    LMAO. Does that mean Jason Varitek’s contract signed last offseason is a pillow contract too? What a joker. A for creativity, F for reality.

  3. Old Gator - Jan 8, 2010 at 3:09 PM

    “Pillow contract” sounds an awful lot to me like a ballplayer’s description of his favorite strange in any given city on the road. It would be actually heartening to know that the agent gets an occasional piece of the action as well – and I don’t mean his commission, neither.

  4. RamboDiaz - Jan 8, 2010 at 3:43 PM

    Does this mean that Ed Wade gave Brandon Lyon a “seppuku contract”?

  5. gumbercules - Jan 8, 2010 at 4:21 PM

    OK Craig, that was the funniest thing you wrote today.

  6. Scott - Jan 8, 2010 at 4:23 PM

    How is it that people are ignoring Beltre’s career OBP of .325? Last season was .304! I know his defensive skills are going to make a difference, but I think some of that is going to get undercut by the number of times Beltre whiffs when Pedroia, Papi or Youk is on-base and Adrian scores the third out.

  7. Ip - Jan 8, 2010 at 4:27 PM

    yeah, you’re on fire. i just laughed out loud twice. more for Martinez, though.
    i mistakingly read Golden God as a tag for “Golden Turd.” in the spirit of making up fun names for crap and feeling superior, can we now tag all of Boras’s articles also with Golden Turd now?
    s’il vous plait?

  8. robinson42 - Jan 8, 2010 at 8:49 PM

    There’s the rumor about Jeter, Jessica Alba and herpes… but I won’t go there.

  9. Craig Calcaterra - Jan 8, 2010 at 9:01 PM

    Think you already did!

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