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Washburn says no to the Twins

Jan 11, 2010, 12:30 PM EDT

Jarrod Washburn doesn’t want to take $5 million to pitch for the Twins.

I can’t decide if this is like a pledging frat boy inviting an ugly chick to the big hazing mixer and having her turn him down or more like a guy intentionally jumping out of a plane sans parachute only to land on an open-air cottonball and pillow warehouse.

Either way, the frat boy/parachutist in this case should probably thank the deity of his choice for his good fortune.

  1. The Common Man - Jan 11, 2010 at 12:38 PM

    As should the fans of said frat boy/parachutist. I, for one, say “whew.”

  2. Old Gator - Jan 11, 2010 at 12:41 PM

    Craig, just so you know, I offer a tutorial in extenuating metaphors without stress as well as in refining your cynicism. You don’t need to panic and go to extremes just because Celizic will be back on the baseball section in another six weeks.
    Washburn is clever. He wants a per diem for drycleaning his thermal underwear before he’ll pitch in Frostbite Field.

  3. YankeesfanLen - Jan 11, 2010 at 12:42 PM

    The Tigers, from first-hand experience, are very disappointed he doesn’t want to pitch for the Twins. Maybe if they weren’t doing their best Chrysler imitation, they’d throw in a couple mil to make it happen.

  4. ralf - Jan 11, 2010 at 1:02 PM

    Remember the first half off the ’09 season, when Jarrod Washburn was near the top of every “Top Trade Targets for Contenders” list? Remember when the Tigers locked up the AL Central crown the day they traded for him? I wonder if that seems as long ago for Washburn and the Tigers’ front office as it does for me.

  5. Karl - Jan 11, 2010 at 1:25 PM

    Frostbite Field? Yes, because Detroit is downright tropical compared to Minneapolis.

  6. D-Luxxx - Jan 11, 2010 at 1:31 PM

    I couldn’t be happier with this post. It just made my day. Washburn is washed up. His numbers were good early last year because he played in a pitcher friendly park with great outfield defense. The Twins OF D is not looking as good as it could have been now that Gomez is gone, so a flyball heavy pitcher playing with the Twins is the last thing they need. We need ground balls, we already have plenty of fly ball pitchers. Hopefully someone else picks him up quick before he can change his mind.

  7. Moses Green - Jan 12, 2010 at 7:38 AM

    Gleeman just had a whole year’s worth of vitriolic posts that wrote themselves stolen from him.

  8. Physical Symptoms of Anxiety - Jan 25, 2010 at 4:40 AM

    The information presented is top notch. I’ve been doing some research on the topic and this post answered several questions.

  9. Burton Haynes - Jan 29, 2010 at 6:32 PM

    Oh my god you will not belief that. Our silly puppy actually farted on my knee!? I mean what is the problem with this!? I feed this thing and I get this in return. I still will not belief that. Anyway, you have some interesting information there in your article. I knew Yahoo are going to bring me to some fascinating stuff today :). Okay need to hunt that pet now! Have a great time you all!

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