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Thief posed as a Chicago Cub to get a truck

Jan 15, 2010, 1:50 PM EDT

From the police blotter:

A Nevada man is accused of posing as a Major League Baseball player to steal a car.

Matthew T. Van Meter, 24, is charged in Utah state court with
felony counts of theft and forgery. Charging papers accuse Van Meter,
of Elko., Nev., of using the name and documents identifying him as
Chicago Cubs outfielder Tyler Colvin.

Van Meter, the charges say, on Tuesday signed documents with a Ken
Garff auto dealership in West Valley City to buy a 2010 Dodge pickup
worth $50,000. Van Meter promised to pay for the truck the next day and
drove away in it.

Theft is theft, so yeah, put the guy away. But ask yourself: would you even give the real Tyler Colvin a car with no money down?  Guy played six games with an OPS+ of 12 last year. Sure, he hit .300 in AA, but it was on his second go-around.

Real prospects get credit. All others must show cash.

  1. snArky vaughn - Jan 15, 2010 at 2:05 PM

    Something about “thief” doesn’t work for you, eh? That’s twice on that one Calcaterra.
    i before e except after c and when sounding like a as in neighbor or weigh. Also except when the rule doesnt’ apply.

  2. Craig Calcaterra - Jan 15, 2010 at 2:08 PM

    Thief just doesn’t work for my fingers when I’m typing. Worst word, though: “Toronto” I am totally incapable of typing it at anything close to normal speed without it being “Tornoto.”

  3. snArky Vaughn - Jan 15, 2010 at 2:12 PM

    I hear you. Pretty normal stuff. Well, I hope, since I do it as well. That, shoving the last letter of a word onto the next letter (a little fast on the space bar), and getting 2 capitols (als?) in a row because my finger doesn’t get off the shift key fast enough.

  4. Moses Green - Jan 15, 2010 at 2:23 PM

    I’ve begun to type with a stutter. Weird, because I don’t stutter when I talk, but then again I type MUCH FASTER than I talk.

  5. KR - Jan 15, 2010 at 2:31 PM

    “capitals”, snarky Vaughn. “capitol” is either the hill in Rome, or a building (such as the one in DC). Everything else (cities that are seats of government, upper case letters, financial wealth, a type of punishment, etc.) is “-al”. (now you know, and knowing is half the battle!)
    One word I have trouble typing is “interested”; for some reason I tend to always type “interesting” instead. And it’s only for that word, not for verbs in general or anything. I have no idea why I do that.

  6. Charles Gates - Jan 15, 2010 at 2:49 PM

    I have trouble typing ‘Red Sox.’ It always comes out something like, “that Peter Gammons led Bostonian cult consisting of a nation of R-less fools.”

  7. willmose - Jan 15, 2010 at 2:50 PM

    That is really bad Karma. Stealing a truck is bad enough, but they would anyone pretend to be a Cub? Does he have “I’m a loser” tatooed on his forehead?

  8. Motherscratcher - Jan 15, 2010 at 2:58 PM

    I have trouble relating because I never maek mistakes when typing.
    This guy is a genius. Posing as Tyler Colvin? That’s what makes it brilliant. I mean, who the heck would pretend to be Tyler Colvin?

  9. FatherFlayer - Jan 15, 2010 at 3:02 PM

    Equally brilliant? That he did it in Utah. Where else could that have worked?

  10. Clemente - Jan 15, 2010 at 5:24 PM

    You guys don’t know Utah—it is common practice to let potential car buyers take a car for a day befor paying. He didn’t even need to pretend to be someone.

  11. Moses Green - Jan 15, 2010 at 5:31 PM

    I didn’t know that. But if he just takes the truck without giving a name he’s just another random asshole. Now he’s on a corporate baseball blog, so he’s a funny asshole with some minor publicity under a fake name. Actually, that description could apply to me as well.

  12. omg! ): - Jan 24, 2010 at 11:19 PM

    Wow seriously. Is this all you people have to do is talk about this topic. I’m not even kidding! This guy is my brother. I don’t know why he did this. Quite frankly it was VERY VERY VERY WRONG, but it doesn’t concern any of you! Do you even realize how much this hurts the criminals family? ALOT, you don’t even know!

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