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You can still get your Steve Phillips fix

Jan 15, 2010, 1:30 AM EDT

steve phillips.jpgSteve Phillips’ voice may be gone from our collective consciousness after he was dumped by ESPN for his, um, indiscretions.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t get your Phillips fix. All you have to do is buy the upcoming MLB 2K10 game. (From Pasta Padre, via Awful Announcing)

Of note is the commentary which has added John Kruk while keeping Steve Phillips along with Gary Thorne. The decision to hold onto Phillips will be somewhat controversial considering the circumstances of his firing from ESPN and that he is currently without any employment or association with baseball. Given that he remains it comes as little surprise that 2K did not advertise the commentary team in the features list.

There is a lot of comedic Phillips material to work with here, but frankly I don’t have the energy to sift through it all. So I’m going to leave it up to you, the trusty, loyal and brilliant reader. Share your Phillips joke in the comments section. Do your best to keep it clean.

Remember folks, this is a family web site.

  1. Dutch - Jan 15, 2010 at 4:05 AM

    Christ, how embarrassing. If you’re on TV and you’re gonna cheat, for God’s sake, get a hottie. This guy is done. At least Monica Lewinski was sorta pretty in the face back then. Kinda like a poor to very poor man’s Sherilyn Fenn.

  2. quintjs - Jan 15, 2010 at 5:21 AM

    I don’t really blame them for keeping Phillips. They had already paid him his money and no doubt recorded it already. Why go back and put all that extra work into the game at the last minute.
    To me, the bigger and more interesting crime here was committed a long time ago when they were working out who was going to do the commentry and someone said “well, Steve Phillips is popular..”

  3. BTfromVT - Jan 15, 2010 at 7:17 AM

    Steve Phillips slept with Pat from the old SNL cousin

  4. Old Gator - Jan 15, 2010 at 8:50 AM

    This former general manager and sports commentator walks into a bar and sits down next to a babe, then takes a tarantula out of the breast pocket of his overpriced suit and puts it down on the counter….

  5. Jack Meoffer - Jan 15, 2010 at 9:09 AM

    (Commentary to follow by Steve Phillips)….”David Wright plays a great Third Base. Speaking of Third Base, I got their quicker with a chubby girl than anyone currently in the Major Leagues”

  6. willmose - Jan 15, 2010 at 9:13 AM

    Hi I’ll Steve Phillips, when I was GM of the Mets I sucked big time, but hey even I wouldn’t have signed Jason Bay.

  7. Moses Green - Jan 15, 2010 at 9:46 AM

    Because his knees are in better shape than Mo Vaughn’s were. (rimshot)

  8. michael standish - Jan 15, 2010 at 11:55 AM

    Guesswork followup to Old Gator’s intro:
    So the bartender says “We don’t get too many ugly venomous mini-monsters in this place.”

  9. Evil EmpireE2010 - Jan 15, 2010 at 11:57 AM

    He will land on MLB Network, like he is the first guy to get booty on the side, Bill Clinton did pretty good for himself after his little impeachment hearing.

  10. TF in Tampa - Jan 15, 2010 at 12:33 PM

    So the babe says ‘Ya look pretty good, but can ya drink wif me??? [pause]— and if so will the romp we’ll have later sting me better than your friend there?
    Your up Gator!

  11. michael standish - Jan 15, 2010 at 3:42 PM

    TF fouled it off, and Old Gator is apparently sitting this one out, so here goes:
    Then the girl (so ugly that when she cries the tears run down the back of her head, into her face) pipes up:
    “Even at these prices, it’s no reason not to serve Steve.”

  12. michael standish - Jan 15, 2010 at 3:46 PM

    No, wait, that’s not it…
    Then Steve Phillips says, “So I asked the genie for a 12-inch tarantula.”

  13. michael standish - Jan 15, 2010 at 3:51 PM

    Something’s really wrong here: I paid Shaughnessy a lot of money for these jokes, and…zippo. The fraudulent bastard probably works for Microsoft.

  14. Lazer Eyes - Jan 15, 2010 at 4:54 PM

    If you play the game, you’ll notice something strange: Steve Phillips only calls the fat pitches.

  15. Old Gator - Jan 15, 2010 at 11:53 PM

    Look, this is, as Craig tirelessly reminds us, a family site. Never mind that the family is one of those seriously inbred north Georgia clans where the male second cousins have four tits each and the women keep getting their American flag hairdoes caught in the ceiling fans; family values are family values. So, for any number of reasons, I can’t relate the entire joke. However, here’s the diegesis, followed by the punchline: the general manager plies the babe with drinks during a conversation in which he insists that the tarantula is trained to do something in particular. They go back to his office at the stadium, she undresses and lies down on the conference table. That’s it. The punchline is when the general manager, with feigned irritation, says to the tarantula, “Okay, Marv, this is the last time I’m going to show you how to do this.”

  16. Moses Green - Jan 16, 2010 at 7:18 AM

    The worst part is they get to see people on TV every day who have evolved thumbs. What a kick in the ass.

  17. Old Gator - Jan 16, 2010 at 10:06 AM

    Your supposition is inherently flawed. Unless they also have prehensile tails, how do they hold and operate the remote?
    Speaking of which, I had this great thought over dim sum the other morning: make myself a fake coiled tail out of rabo encendido vertebrae (you can get great rabo at my local Cuban cafe on Fridays), encase them in a tight plastic sheath and cover it with a fine spray of crazy glue and then the dog hair I keep vacuuming out of the corners. Then I tuck it into the back of my jeans and go through the full-body scanner at the airport. Considering how clueless the average TSA guard is in the first place (the ones at MIA were created in the image of Georger W. Bush; they keep setting off the capsicum sprayers on the local Republican housewives’ keychains), I would really like to see the expression on the face of the clown watching the screen.

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