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The Marlins now play in "Sun Life Stadium"

Jan 18, 2010, 3:50 PM EDT

In the future, everyone will hold the naming rights to the Marlins’ ballpark for fifteen minutes

The Marlins’ home for the next two years will be known by yet another name for the 2010 season. The football/baseball facility in South Florida, which is currently
called Dolphin Stadium again, will be renamed Sun Life Stadium, after
the company Sun Life Financial  . . . It started with Joe Robbie Stadium, then went to Pro Player Park, Pro
Player Stadium, Dolphins Stadium, Dolphin Stadium and then Land Shark
Stadium for most of the ’09 season. It then reverted to Dolphin Stadium
following the FedEx Orange Bowl on Jan. 5, and now it will be known as
Sun Life Stadium.

Given how often it changes It can’t cost much money to name the place. We should just pool our money and get it donw.  Yahoo!’s Dave Brown’s idea – “Say Hello to my Little Ballpark” — is in the lead so far.  Anyone have anything better?

  1. Ryan - Jan 18, 2010 at 4:11 PM

    The huge ballpark that couldn’t?

  2. Jonny5 - Jan 18, 2010 at 4:12 PM

    My vote is for “Ballmart”. Where all the other teams go for good deals on good players.

  3. carlos - Jan 18, 2010 at 4:18 PM

    maybe the could just use LED light boards. Would be cheaper than replacing hard-scape signs every 6 months.

  4. peteinfla - Jan 18, 2010 at 4:18 PM

    Everbody gets to have their name on it for 15 minutes? Andy Warhol Stadium?

  5. 2cents - Jan 18, 2010 at 4:22 PM

    “Wiggly Field”

  6. Pimpin' Pete - Jan 18, 2010 at 4:23 PM

    Dock Ellis Memorial Stadium

  7. RobRob - Jan 18, 2010 at 4:23 PM

    Isn’t this kind of like the proverbial tree falling in the forest? Stadium names only matter if someone is watching, right?

  8. peteinfla - Jan 18, 2010 at 4:24 PM

    If they could get a supermarket as a sponser, then it could be Piggly Wiggly Field.

  9. twins2010 - Jan 18, 2010 at 4:38 PM

    Claude Raines Stadium after in honor of “The Invisible Fan”?

  10. Old Gator - Jan 18, 2010 at 5:00 PM

    Th naming rights fiasco of the Stadium Formerly Known as Joe Robbie reminds me of that old joke – did you hear the one about the (fill in name of minority group, religious group or least favorite political persuasion} who got an ass transplant and died when the ass rejected him?
    .
    It’s all perfectly congruent with the fiasco going on inside, where the Feesh are barely tolerated (and have in fact been operating under a deadline to get out) by the beached cetaceans who run the place, and whose efforts to find an identity for the stadium in fact sometimes seem like the efforts of cetaceans to free their relict metacarpals and digits from their flippers so they can pick their noses with them. Despite the fact that the Feesh pay an exorbitant rental, receive none of the revenues from parking and only a trace of the concessions whose totals you’d need to perform the same kinds of tests the FBI labs use to identify particles of DNA in order to report on your corporate tax return, the stadium owners still want them to just go away. Now what does that tell you about what it must be like having Jeffrey Loria, the Chihuahua and their bunch around? How would you like to be landlord to a franchise whose desperation to leave was so storied that its semi-official theme song was “Look at us, We’re walking”?
    .
    Sorry about that….
    .
    Perhaps the brewers of the foul urine-colored concoction called Land Shark Beer happened to wander up to the stadium from the turnpike side and noticed that in return for the millions they spent for the right to put that repulsive yellow tarp with their logo on it over the back of the new scoreboard, it was being viewed by no more than the inhabitants of the fifteen or twenty cars in the parking lot at any given time. Not much of a return on such a colossal waste of money, even if those cars had all been like the Volkswagen beetles at the circus that pull up in front of you and disgorge three dozen clowns each. Who knows? At least as far as I’m aware they haven’t gone tits up yet the way Pro Player Jockstraps (turns out no one was really impressed by athletic supporters that fought odor like pine scented kitty litter) and Hydrophilic Windbreakers did.
    .
    Now I’m not sure of this but isn’t Sun Life in fact a Canadian company? In addition to the arepas, croquetas, media noches and guyaba pasteles now being sold there, are we now going to be treated to overpriced paper slippers full of poutine or fried beaver (which often happens when the stadium radiates back at the Marlins Mermaids – who have to resort to ever more desperate dance styles [and when was the last time you watched someone trying to wrap a hyperpineal fishtail around a firehouse pole] to attract the few spectators that tend to be there on any day the Mutts or the Borg aren’t in town – the gamma rays its forty thousand unoccupied seats can’t absorb on a typical south Florida July afternoon in between thunderstorms), and compete with the Feelies’ horrible horsemeat and velveeta sandwiches to see who can clog the most arteries the fastest?
    .
    Well, it doesn’t really matter all that much. In a couple of years the team will be moving a few miles south to the new, parking and access challenged Macondo Banana Massacre Yanqui Imperialist Fruit Collective Stadium in the heart of Miami’s second largest unemployed blue collar district. At least, though, it has a name that speaks all that needs to be spoken about what’s going on inside.

  11. Pimpin' Pete - Jan 18, 2010 at 5:05 PM

    Misappropriated Revenue Sharing Funds Field

  12. ralphdibny - Jan 18, 2010 at 5:23 PM

    The Miami Sound Machine?

  13. Chipmaker - Jan 18, 2010 at 5:27 PM

    Something phonically unpronounceable, like “$@*&%^! Stadium”, just to bollix the announcers and make mediot heads asplode with indignation.
    .
    If you’re gonna waste the money, REALLY waste it.

  14. Simon DelMonte - Jan 18, 2010 at 6:25 PM

    Wait. I thought it was Jack Ruby Stadium.

  15. The Rabbit - Jan 18, 2010 at 7:15 PM

    You would be correct. Sun Life Financial is a Canadian company. Its US headquarters is located in a Boston suburb.
    Because I hate corporate stadium names, I thought it might be fun if the stadium name rights would have to be sold to the highest bidder in sealed bids. I would root for Al Goldstein.

  16. Old Gator - Jan 19, 2010 at 10:20 AM

    Me too. Then they could maybe transport that huge sculpture of a fist with an upraised middle finger that used to stand on the bank of the Intracoastal Waterway behind his house to the outfield at Joeprodolsharlife Stadium, you know, like the center field monuments in the House that Ruth Built and Recently Defaulted. True story: Back when he lived down here, if Al was out sunning himself by his pool, boaters going by would yell “Hey Al! Fuck you! and shoot him a bird, and if Al happened to be awake and returned the compliment with a big grin and a bird of his own, you felt as though a benediction had been bestowed upon you. A terrible, terrible loss to south Florida when he moved to California. Now the most interesting thing about the Intracoastal down here are the neurofibromas on the sea turtles.

  17. Lawrence From Plattekill - Jan 19, 2010 at 10:24 AM

    The Yankees could buy the naming rights for pocket change and call it Yankee Stadium South. They could always use advertising in Florida.

  18. Issac Maez - Jan 29, 2010 at 6:32 PM

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  19. Delmer Parmely - Feb 18, 2010 at 11:38 PM

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  20. Tad Faircloth - Feb 19, 2010 at 3:10 PM

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  22. Jesus Kurshuk - Mar 8, 2010 at 5:29 PM

    It’s funny that you in spite of everything spoke up! I have been waiting for someone to bring this out to the open! Anyway… nice post. I will be back.

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