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Felix Hernandez and Cliff Lee need a nickname

Jan 25, 2010, 3:20 PM EDT

At least John McGrath of the Tacoma News-Tribune thinks they do. He starts with a couple of ideas:

Is anybody pondering a nickname for the Mariners’ one-two punch?
Hmmn. If Hernandez is “King Felix,” his counterpart should also own a
title of distinction, something along the line of, say, “General Lee.”

King
Felix and General Lee. I can see that poster on a kid’s wall, with
Hernandez wearing a crown and Lee dressed up in a 19th-century military
uniform . . . Of
course, there’s always the standard “Fire and Ice,” with Hernandez
appointed as the Fire and Lee as the Ice. That wouldn’t be a stretch:
Felix is animated on the mound, while Lee is a low-key type who keeps
his cool.

Blah. General Lee suffers from two problems: (1) you go putting someone in a CSA army uniform in this day and age and someone is gonna start complaining; and (2) it’s so, so taken.

I’m also no fan of “Fire and Ice,” because I’ll forever associate that with Bucky and Lee from “The Black Dahlia,” and that book rules so hard that I’m not going to let some random six-runs-in-five-innings outing risk ruining the association for me.

The biggest problem with this is that you can’t go applying nicknames so early in the process.  Nicknames need some time to germinate and to grow. You can’t just pick them out in January all willy-nilly.  Sure, if nothing reveals itself for Lee and Hernandez by, say, Mother’s Day we can think harder about this. But for now let’s just use a placeholder.

Clifflix.

There. That’s done.  What’s next on the agenda?

  1. kirk - Jan 25, 2010 at 3:28 PM

    Dumb and dumber taken?

  2. michael standish - Jan 25, 2010 at 3:38 PM

    An Ellroy fan, eh? I wonder what the Bar Association would make of that.

  3. Craig Calcaterra - Jan 25, 2010 at 3:43 PM

    They never knew what to make of me anyway, so we’ll just add it to the list.

  4. Joe - Jan 25, 2010 at 3:45 PM

    How about the Cartoon Cats?
    Just checked. Lee is Clifton, not Heathcliff. Scratch that.

  5. BTfromVT - Jan 25, 2010 at 3:46 PM

    How about Sam and Annie (Sleepless in Seattle)

  6. g mem - Jan 25, 2010 at 3:47 PM

    Felix and the big cat

  7. Phil - Jan 25, 2010 at 3:50 PM

    It’s simple. Lee takes uniform number 44 and immediately becomes Stack o’ Lee (or one of its many variants – Stagger Lee, Stagolee, etc). But since Lee is, as my uncle would have said, a long, tall drink o’ water, I’m partial to Stack o’ Lee.
    You could have an image of a .44 magnum on the jumbotron (or whatever atrocity they have at Safeco) shoot for every Lee K. And a counter somewhere that would incrementally progress as Lee “stacks up” the Ws.

  8. Charles Gates - Jan 25, 2010 at 3:52 PM

    Philly had the nickname problem last summer. Dumb Philly phans, no surprise, assumed his first name was Clifford, and started calling him ‘Big Red.’ This would have been perfect, considering the Phillies colors…

  9. john - Jan 25, 2010 at 3:53 PM

    Felee! (Pronounced Fee-lee)
    It has the upside of being completely ridiculous.

  10. Joe Tetreault - Jan 25, 2010 at 3:55 PM

    Of all the foolishness. You can’t just sit around and say, dude needs a nickname, let’s have a nicknaming contest column. If they won’t write like Grantland Rice, they don’t get the privilege of distributing monikers. Hell, since Studs terkel’s dead, no writer gets to come up with nicknames, anymore.
    It is some comfort to know that the writers are just as eager for January to finish it’s never ending trek so that February can dawn, followed by the reporting of pitchers, catchers and then position players.

  11. carlos - Jan 25, 2010 at 4:05 PM

    @kirk: jealous much?
    I’d like to see some buddy cop reference thrown in there. Something along the lines of tango & cash. You know some old fashion good cop bad cop scenario.

  12. Joey B - Jan 25, 2010 at 4:08 PM

    Combine the one-two punch with the punch and judy hitters that Seattle has, and call them the One-Two Punch and Judy team.

  13. Joey B - Jan 25, 2010 at 4:11 PM

    FWIW, now that I’ve seen the NYM slogan on this page “We believe in Comebacks”, I’m thinking that maybe the Mets need your writing skills more than Seattle.

  14. Jonny5 - Jan 25, 2010 at 4:28 PM

    A one-two punch KO? How about Mike and Tyson? Okay that sucks. Last season I was affectionately calling him Cliffy. And this “Dumb philly fan” never heard him called big red. He’s not big first of all….. I wish we could have kept him. It was good while it lasted though…..

  15. IdahoMariner - Jan 25, 2010 at 4:50 PM

    you can call them whatever you want…I am still blissfully, happily contemplating the first two days of the season….

  16. Jonny5 - Jan 25, 2010 at 4:56 PM

    Craig, here’s a good one for all the head scratching fans over the Lee trade…
    http://www.philly.com/philly/sports/phillies/20100125_Bill_Conlin__Why_moving_Lee_was_right_move_at_right_time_for_Phillies.html

  17. Fat Albert - Jan 25, 2010 at 5:15 PM

    Kat and Dawg. (Felix the cat, Clifford the big red dog)

  18. Stan Jacobs - Feb 11, 2010 at 3:28 PM

    Your blog is so informative … keep up the good work!!!!

  19. Catarina Madrid - Mar 2, 2010 at 5:57 PM

    you have a nice blog, i enjoyed the post. -

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