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Lenny Dykstra is back, with some more can't-miss investment advice

Feb 9, 2010, 11:45 AM EDT

There was a brief moment a couple years ago when a not-insignificant number of people believed that Lenny Dykstra was a financial genius capable of picking winning stocks like some sort of baseball Rainman.
Real Sports on HBO did a relatively fawning profile piece focused on Dykstra’s lavish lifestyle, Jim Cramer famously called him a “legend” in the investment world, and his various businesses thrived.
Eventually he declared bankruptcy, lost his $17.5 million home, was sued approximately a gazillion times, and auctioned off his World Series ring. And now Dykstra has a new website called “Nails Investments” where he offers stock picks and one-on-one advice for a monthly fee.
All of which got me thinking about where “Lenny Dykstra on investing” ranks on the list of “people giving advice about things.” For instance, near the top of the list would probably be stuff like “Albert Pujols on hitting a baseball” or “Derek Jeter on attracting women.” Near the bottom of the list would be things like “Aaron Gleeman on dieting” or “Craig Calcaterra on hair styles.”
My challenge to you, the Circling the Bases/Hardball Talk reader, is to come up with some things that would actually rank below “Lenny Dykstra on investing.” Winner gets exactly zero dollars, which is more than you’d probably make listening to his advice. Have at it …

  1. Chris - Feb 19, 2010 at 3:17 PM

    Hitler on following treaties.

  2. Harris - Feb 20, 2010 at 3:41 PM

    Obama at change

  3. Patrick - Feb 21, 2010 at 10:52 AM

    Rick Pitino on unkempt hair.
    Japan on nurturing aquatic mammalian life.
    Craig Calcaterra on God-I-hate-Tom-Glavine.
    The entire @#$%ing state of Illinois on respecting the ecological and financial significance of the Great Lakes fish stock and not being world-record-shatteringly dense about recognizing the threat posed by invasive species.

  4. scott - Feb 22, 2010 at 7:57 PM

    Allen Iverson on The importance on PRACTICE
    Michael Vick on Potty Training

  5. KathyBaseball - Feb 22, 2010 at 8:43 PM

    Chuckie Carr on working the count

  6. Elroy Gilpin - Feb 24, 2010 at 10:05 AM

    Non-existent customer service at Natwest and complete lack of any attempt at complaint resolution.

  7. article marketing - Feb 24, 2010 at 4:46 PM

    Affiliate marketing is the cheapest, and in some ways the easiest way to start your online business. All you need to do is to pre sell your visitors and get them to click through to your sponsor’s site. Their sales page does the selling and you collect your commission. Everybody is happy and you can snowball your profits to invest in your business development. In this way you can build your business faster, knowing you have a good income coming in. Affiliate marketing

  8. Matt Anderson - Feb 25, 2010 at 3:01 PM

    John Calipari on how to break NCAA rules
    Rich Rodriguez on how to go from a red neck to a wolverine

  9. Bob B. - Feb 26, 2010 at 3:53 PM

    Republicans on “Loving thy neighbor as thyself.”
    Republicans on “When I was hungry, you fed me.”
    …basically: Republicans on “Following the teachings of Jesus Christ and the New Testament.”
    Republicans on “How to listen to minorities.”
    Sarah Palin on “The Earth is more than 6000 years old.”
    Sarah Palin on “Understanding global economics, global policy, and all things science.”
    Sarah Palin on “Choosing a name for your newborn child that will not cause the child to be ostracized in elementary school.”
    John Kruk on “How to dress for success.”
    Notre Dame on “How to continue a long-standing tradition of winning.”

  10. jb - Mar 1, 2010 at 1:20 PM

    Conan O’Brien on Being a Team Player
    Politicians on Getting Stuff Done

  11. GS - Mar 1, 2010 at 11:15 PM

    Ray Caruth on Dating

  12. Dave S - Mar 2, 2010 at 3:52 PM

    Moises Alou on the importance of keeping your hands clean.

  13. Johnson Borghi - Mar 2, 2010 at 5:57 PM

    i enjoyed your article, maybe you would enjoy my blog. – Herbal Buds

  14. Cleareye - Mar 3, 2010 at 3:07 PM

    Shaquille O’Neal on freethrows

  15. Frankvapa - Mar 5, 2010 at 6:27 PM

    Brett Myers on Domestic Bliss
    Tim McCarver on Subtle Color Commentary
    Wilt Chamberlain on Humility
    Andy Reed on The Football Coaches Diet
    Roger Clemens on Being The Best Person One Can Be
    Don Cherry on Hiding In The Wings
    Jerry Jones on Hands Off Ownership
    Mike Millbury on Hockey Broadcasting Etiquette
    John Daly on Anonymity

  16. Oh, the Irony - Mar 6, 2010 at 2:59 AM

    Every poster here on getting a life.

  17. GB - Mar 6, 2010 at 7:38 PM

    President Obama and Integrity.
    President Obama and Jobs.
    President Obama and anything positive.
    Bush was an idiot and the current group is worse.

  18. Leo Weyler - Mar 8, 2010 at 1:59 PM

    Thanks for discussing such an insightful article with all of us. I’ve bookmarked your blog will come back for a re-read again. Keep up the great work.

  19. Kathy - Mar 9, 2010 at 1:07 PM

    Ben Roethlisberger on dating etiquette

  20. uncle woody - Mar 9, 2010 at 7:30 PM

    ted kennedy giving your pregnant girlfriend a ride home.

  21. Chrissy - Jun 11, 2010 at 3:21 PM

    Hilarious how much this guy is getting made fun of. I’d like to hear Lenny’s prediction of what the ipad killer will be.

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