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Carlos Delgado may just retire to Crash Boat Beach

Feb 11, 2010, 9:59 AM EDT

Yesterday it was reported that Carlos Delgado is demanding “substantial money and playing time.” In light of this article, however, he’s apparently cool with not getting those things:

“I have to analyze all the options that I have and, another important
thing, I’m not going to sign a contract just to say I signed. You have to look for the best situation for yourself at the
moment . . . If there is no work, I’ll retire. That’s
not Plan A, but if I don’t get any work, I can’t do anything about it.
I am staying positive and the lines of communication are open to try to
create a situation. If nothing comes up, Crash Boat [Beach] is in

Delgado’s somewhat unreasonable demands notwithstanding, I don’t take these comments to be ones made out of anger or frustration. Delgado is reputed to be one of the brighter, more well-balanced guys in the game, and here he actually sounds like he’s approaching all of this in a pretty healthy fashion. “Hey, I want to play, but I’m not going to beg for a job. There are other things for me to do in the world.”

  1. YX - Feb 11, 2010 at 10:14 AM

    His demand is making perfect sense: If someone dumb enough to offer me a (crash?) boat load of money, I’m not the one to turn it down. Otherwise, 2 mil is not worth all the fun I could have chasing bikinies.

  2. Old Gator - Feb 11, 2010 at 10:26 AM

    One of the great things about having been a baseball star is that you don’t have to chase your strange across the beach or across the hotel lobby either. It comes to you. Sometimes it actually waits for you somewhere between Gate C and the lot where you park you Bentley during the game. This is, of course, an important feature of your retirement as a baseball star if your knees and hips are shot. For all we know, it may have been stipulated in the collective bargaining agreement, along with keeping the designated hitter for, pretty much, the same reason. Even a ballplayer with busted bearings is entitled to his privileges.

  3. Jonny5 - Feb 11, 2010 at 10:47 AM

    Delgado is right, offer me enough loot to keep playing, and i’ll do my best. If not, my ass is retiring!! Yooo hooo!!! Malibu here I come!!!

  4. YX - Feb 11, 2010 at 10:47 AM

    Where’s the joy in that! If fish jump on my boat when I’m trying to fish, I’d rather go to a supermarket.

  5. RobRob - Feb 11, 2010 at 10:49 AM

    There’s actually some well-known basic economics principles on display here. Workers at the tail end of their careers will often require more marginal compensation per unit of work than workers at the beginning of their careers.

    In other words, Delgado wants to be a regular starter. If he doesn’t get that, it’s not worth it to him to grind it out for eight months. That sounds pretty reasonable to me.

  6. Old Gator - Feb 11, 2010 at 12:26 PM

    There’s a scene in Woody Allen’s classic Love and Death featuring a herring where your logic is carried to its unnatural conclusion. But having said that, don’t forget that I’m a Feesh fan – a disgruntled one, to be sure, but a Feesh fan nonetheless. We call our cheerleader/dancers – and I use the term metaphorically, which you would understand if you had ever seen these women “dance” – Mermaids. If you check them out on the Feesh homepage and still prefer to go to the supermarket to having them jump in your boat, well, I think you ought to have your gonadatrophic hormone precursor levels checked. There are treatments – Cialis, for example, which I can get for you at bulk prices from Canada.
    Oh, and speaking of Canada, Mermaids and dancing, and also speaking about being disgruntled, I think Marlins home attendance could be substantially boosted by letting all of the Mermaids go jump in somebody’s boat – mine, preferably, or Carlos Delgado’s, as long as you don’t seem to want them (although I would also throw their choreographer overboard along with a bucket of chum) – and replacing them all with the bellydancers from Shimmy, led by my divine Gillian: I suppose that Scrooge McLoria would be too tight to pay their plane fare down from Vancouver but even he could probably fine a few bucks to cover the dugout roofs with beach sand so they could do their thing. What do you want to bet those horrible blue tarps come off the bleachers within a week?

  7. BC - Feb 11, 2010 at 2:59 PM

    Delgado was a ringleader in fracturing the clubhouse, and he led the push by players (and the wonderful Tony Bernazard) to get Willy Randolph fired. Always been a prima donna, even in Toronto. Good riddance.

  8. Old Gator - Feb 11, 2010 at 3:30 PM

    I wouldn’t have thought that of Delgado; during his brief tenure here in Macondo, where he was screwed by Jack Benny’s latterday incarnation of an owner (with the caveat that Benny was a skinflint to himself as well, whereas Loria buys expensive caviar for himself and custom blended chow to feed his Chihuahua) on a broken no-trade promise, he seemed like a pretty intelligent and sane guy – and I admired his refusal, as a war protest, to participate in the singing of the Star Spangled Banner (a musical atrocity to go along with the military atrocities we were committing in Iraq at the time). But who knows? Locker room politics might be as vicious or worse than academic politics, with which I am all too familiar (and about which Woodrow Wilson once told H. L. Mencken that the viciousness resulted from the stakes being so small). But Willie Randolph was a classier act than any of the other ersatz Emmet Kellies and other Killer Klowns that run that organization, so if Carlos did pull an “et tu” on Willie, than I hope his patellar pins rust out on him.

  9. BC - Feb 11, 2010 at 3:42 PM

    Dug up some info on this. Of course this could just have been Keith Hernandez mouthing off, which has been known to happen.

  10. Old Gator - Feb 11, 2010 at 4:20 PM

    I always thought that Keith was known for nosing off, but hey, if we can forgive Big Mac, we can forgive Keith, right?
    All that notwithstanding, it was a joy to watch him play during his tenure with the Mets. Say whatever you want about those guys personally, but that infield of Hernandez, Backman, Santana and Knight was one of the greatest defensive deployments I ever had the joy to watch. I saw that bunch make plays you couldn’t pull off on a video game. Tough to see that team now, and maybe tougher to see what’s become of Backman and his old pal Lenny.

  11. Old Gator - Feb 11, 2010 at 4:21 PM

    That’s what happens when you’re rushing to a session. Anyway, one last thought, Keith: if the light went on when Manuel showed up, why’d it go off in September?

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