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UPDATE: Brian Roberts has back spasms

Feb 18, 2010, 2:43 PM EDT

UPDATEOrioles’ beat writer Brittany Ghiroli says that Buster was wrong, and that Roberts doesn’t have kidney stones. Rather, he has back spasms.

How one can mistake those two things given the, um, geography involved is an open question, but we just pass along what we hear.

2:16 P.M.: Buster Olney writes:

Heard this: Orioles second baseman Brian Roberts
is coping with some serious discomfort from kidney stones, but to this
point, the team has no indication that it will affect his preparation
for the start of spring training.

Based on what people who have had kidney stones have told me, this is true. That is, if seeing, walking, sleeping and breathing and anything more strenuous than that aren’t critical to one’s spring training preparation.  The absolute worst pain imaginable, I’m told. Something you wouldn’t wish on the evil mastermind who pulls the string of your worst enemy.

  1. Old Gator - Feb 18, 2010 at 2:31 PM

    Brown Dog passes a kidney stone in Jim Harrison’s latest collection of novellas, The Farmer’s Daughter. It’s an alltime classic among literary kidney stone moments.
    .
    And yes you would wish it on your worst enemy, and the evil genius pulling his strings. You would probably wish it on your ex-wife if you had one. That’s what kidney stones are for.

  2. Max - Feb 18, 2010 at 2:43 PM

    But are the stones in the best shape of their (very short) lives?

  3. JayT - Feb 18, 2010 at 2:48 PM

    I’ve been in some pretty serious mountain biking accidents and I’ve blown out both my knees, and I can say without a doubt that kidney stones were the most painful thing I’ve ever felt. I was bed ridden for a full week.

  4. Old Gator - Feb 18, 2010 at 2:49 PM

    “How one can mistake those two things given the, um, geography involved is an open question, but we just pass along what we hear.”
    Well, is it possible that after six beers during a rain delay the guys in the Pirates’ locker room were actually staring at Jim Bibby’s arm?

  5. YX - Feb 18, 2010 at 2:55 PM

    My father had kidney stone a while back, and he did mistaken it for back pain the first day. Apparently he had it pretty easy since though very discomfort, he wasn’t hit particularly hard. He could still go to work and after about three days all was well again.

  6. ecp - Feb 18, 2010 at 3:35 PM

    Kidney issues cause pain in the lower back, towards the side, just above the hip. Put your hands on your hips, fingers pointing towards your back, and the spot where your fingers are is exactly where the pain is.

  7. BC - Feb 18, 2010 at 3:39 PM

    Those must have been some SERIOUS back spasms to be confused with kidney stones.

  8. Doc - Feb 18, 2010 at 3:57 PM

    ecp is correct–kidney stone pain is normally felt in the lower back and flanks. The pain also is usually colicky–comes in waves, whereas back spasms are normally a more constant pain. Nothing’s 100% though.

  9. eh? - Feb 18, 2010 at 4:09 PM

    in this era of instant information, it seems the signal to noise ratio in reporting is dropping. maybe there needs to be more disclosure on the source of info, or more confirmation done on a report before tweeting.

  10. Chipmaker - Feb 18, 2010 at 4:15 PM

    I had a kidney stone (left side) in 1999. Woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, and that NEVER happens to me. It felt like a hot coal inside my abdomen. The dear then-girlfriend (now dear wife) took me to the ER where I was diagnosed and given some wonderful painkiller. I was lucky — it passed later that morning. The ER gave me a filter in which to catch it, which I did, and it was barely half the size of a grain of rice. I’ve had broken bones, a massive clunk on the head, and a dislocated shoulder, and the pain from the stone outdid them combined. No, I don’t know the true pain of giving birth, but I’ve got a pretty darn good, first-hand comparison.
    .
    Worst part — it acted like a cork on my left kidney. My body kept telling me I had to go, but the effort was wasted, as the right was essentially empty and the left couldn’t drain.
    .
    Definitely something you save for worst-enemy wishes.

  11. JayT - Feb 18, 2010 at 4:22 PM

    Yeah, actually mistook my kidney stones for a back strain for the first couple of days, until it got so bad that I couldn’t even walk. Then as the stone moved from my kidney on out, I could feel the pain go from back pain, to abdominal pain, to…well you get the idea.
    My stone was slightly larger then a peppercorn. The doctors weere all amazed I was able to pass it without any help.

  12. Old Gator - Feb 19, 2010 at 11:58 AM

    Kidney stones are so quotidian. Any of you gals out there ever have a lithopedion? I know some of you Republican women have given birth to a few – and they’re all in Congress now.

  13. Logitech Trackball - Feb 20, 2010 at 10:22 AM

    Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

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