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Quote of the Day: Dustin Pedroia

Feb 22, 2010, 9:59 AM EDT

Some reporters asked Dustin Pedroia if the Red Sox have transformed from a team built to score runs into a team built to prevent runs. I’ve never been a big Pedroia fan, but his response has shot my man-crush for him to dangerously high levels:

“I don’t even buy into that stuff. We have great pitching, we have
great defense, and we have good offensive players. I don’t
even know what run prevention is. I’m a baseball player. I don’t know
how to read very good; I don’t know how to write very good. We just go
play, man. That’s it. We’ll be fine.”

Pedroia is a ballplayer. He plays ball. He has no obligation to give a very obviously hungry Boston press corps. some quotes designed to serve the “do the Red Sox have enough offense?” narrative they’ve decided will dominate this spring. You can hit and play defense at the same time, and there’s every reason to think that the Red Sox will do just that. Screw the Boston press and their false, newspaper-selling dichotomies.

(thanks to Wooden U. Lykteneau for the heads up)

  1. Old Gator - Feb 22, 2010 at 10:18 AM

    Boy, Pedroia really sounds like an early model Tyrell replicant. Dis is what we doo man. The early models, unlike the second and third iterations which had verbal abilities as well, were built to perform specific tasks, like cooking, dusting and being able to clean the orgasmatron without being distracted. The early ballplayer models took a bit more time to develop until the design team figured out that they didn’t need to take up all that room in the skull case with programming for things like rhetorical analysis and response, character recognition (except for uniform numbers) and political sophistication. Even so they were a big improvement over even the most advanced idoru in their three-dimensionality and their utilities package – the ability to sign autographs, for example, although later models also featured the ability to record kickbacks for their tax returns. If I’m not mistaken a few of them even featured the option to buy out their termination dates after their first five parsecs of service.

  2. Church of the Perpetually Outraged - Feb 22, 2010 at 10:20 AM

    I don’t know how to read very good; I don’t know how to write very good. We just go play, man. That’s it. We’ll be fine.”

    Wow, I just copy/pasted this statement into Microsoft Word, and the little paperclip popped up and just shot himself. Isn’t this guy college educated?

  3. Mike - Feb 22, 2010 at 10:26 AM

    Jesus, the guy is a ballplayer and not an English teacher, and perhaps, the “I don’t know how to read very good” comment was meant to be tongue-in-cheek.

  4. Old Gator - Feb 22, 2010 at 10:36 AM

    Yes he is, and clearly still seething with resentment about it. Maybe it was that or the Service?

  5. Will - Feb 22, 2010 at 11:14 AM

    Wow, I just copy/pasted this statement into Microsoft Word, and the little paperclip popped up and just shot himself.

    You say that like it’s a bad thing.

  6. kevin stewart - Feb 22, 2010 at 11:47 AM

    I am a BIG FAN !- ALL HE MEANS IS THAT HE A BALLPLAYER !!!! HE HUSTLES AND PLAYS AN LAYS IT ALL OUT!!!! GIVES 110%. PEACE!

  7. moreflagsmorefun - Feb 22, 2010 at 11:49 AM

    SEE BALL HIT BALL.
    HE IS READY FOR SPRING TRAINING.
    WHAT IS SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT WHAT HE SAID.
    HE IS JUST A BASEBALL PLAYER, NOT SOMEONE LOOKING FOR THE CURE TO CANCER.

  8. Old Gator - Feb 22, 2010 at 11:55 AM

    Hmmm…yes, I see what you mean.

  9. d - Feb 22, 2010 at 11:58 AM

    I like the comment he made to Bill Hall:
    “Hey Dustin,” he [Bill] said. “Why are so many people around your locker?”
    Pedroia smirked
    “Checking out this body, dude,”

  10. Charles Gates - Feb 22, 2010 at 11:59 AM

    You can hit and play defense at the same time
    Just like Bugs Bunny:
    http://www.metacafe.com/watch/2674618/bugs_bunny_baseball_bugs/

  11. Old Gator - Feb 22, 2010 at 12:18 PM

    To my mind, that Bugs Bunny cartoon is an alltime classic, right up there with Abbot and Costello’s “Who’s on First” routine, if not a couple of warp factors beyond it. Of course, since I’m a Feesh fan the idea of a payroll with only one player on it does have a certain, shall we say, deja vu quality about it. Even so, I’ve quoted it several times here yet, incredibly, you’re the only other one who ever mentioned it. Worse, you can see “Who’s On First” at the Hall of Fame on a tape loop, but no Bugs. Anatheme sur eux !

  12. Joey B - Feb 22, 2010 at 1:18 PM

    “Jesus, the guy is a ballplayer and not an English teacher, and perhaps, the “I don’t know how to read very good” comment was meant to be tongue-in-cheek.”
    I do the same thing. There are times when I use the King’s English. There are times when I revert back to my Bronx vernacular.
    And even if that was Pedroia’s best, who cares? When I had Mexicans do my lawn, clean my chimney, and fix my wall, they did a great job and I gladly paid them. I guess I forgot to ask them for their SAT scores.

  13. scatterbrian - Feb 22, 2010 at 2:10 PM

    “I don’t know how to write very good.”
    Perhaps, but I bet he knows how to properly use the caps lock key.

  14. Old Gator - Feb 22, 2010 at 3:22 PM

    Well, did you at least ask to see their green cards?

  15. Joey B - Feb 22, 2010 at 5:12 PM

    “Well, did you at least ask to see their green cards?”
    Well, I didn’t ask the guy with the Irish accent at the Irish pub, or the Italian accent at the pizzeria, or anyone at the chinese place, or the guy serving me falafel, so it didn’t make sense to me to question the Mexican guy.

  16. Old Gator - Feb 22, 2010 at 6:39 PM

    I can see why you wouldn’t bother to ask the Irish guy for a green card. Any card he had was likely to be green – not least of which his Aer Lingus Visa air miles card. The Chinese and Italian guys don’t have a fence to crawl under, though, if they want to get close enough to cut your lawn.
    .
    Incidentally, it’s nothing personal. I’ve never asked anyone in Macondo to see their green card. Here at least, if I did I’d wind up having to do everything myself. Trapping voles to feed Friendo, my pet pygmy rattlesnake, is more than enough work for one day for a retiree.

  17. Joey B - Feb 23, 2010 at 8:58 AM

    “The Chinese and Italian guys don’t have a fence to crawl under, though, if they want to get close enough to cut your lawn.”
    Actually, the guy that owns the Chinese takeout place opened up two other Chinese takeout places, and I believe owns two aprtment buildings. I’ll get deported before he does. To paraphrase “Giant”, he’s now too rich to kill.
    But it does give rise to an interesting twist on illegal immigration. Being Irish, I occasionally hear people talking about deporting illegal Mexicans, which I can support to some degree. But then I have to remind people that not all the Irish we know are legal as well. A lot of conversations have screeched to a halt.

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  19. Madie Leake - Mar 6, 2010 at 6:56 PM

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