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Friends don't let Adam Dunn play defense

Mar 16, 2010, 5:30 PM EDT

Adam Dunn had to leave today’s Nats-Marlins game due to back spasms. According to Bill Ladson, he hurt his back trying to make a defensive play in the top of the second inning.

Dunn says he’ll be fine and will probably play tomorrow, but add this to the ever-growing list of bad things that have happened as a result of Adam Dunn being forced to play defense.  The list of good things that have happened will begin to be compiled the moment anything good happens.

Those alien archaeologists I mentioned in the Snuggie post?  Yeah, well, they’ll have historian friends with them who will spend years trying to figure out how it was that Adam Dunn played thousands of baseball games in his career without ever being a member of an American League team.

Wait, that’s not true. Beings that perfect interstellar travel will have highly advanced, highly rational minds. The sort of minds that will never consider that a major sports league created something as ridiculously awful as the designated hitter.

  1. Ryan - Mar 16, 2010 at 5:49 PM

    …alternatively… something as awful as making a pitcher hit.

  2. Old Gator - Mar 16, 2010 at 6:39 PM

    According to the Necronomicon, the Old Ones created life on earth as a joke. Adam Dunn’s defense is just the punch line.

  3. Flup - Mar 16, 2010 at 10:21 PM

    So, wait: You think the DH shouldn’t exist, but you think Adam Dunn should be a DH. Pick a side, Craig. I’m with Ryan. The real abomination is making a pitcher hit – even though everyone agrees that it doesn’t really matter if a pitcher can hit or not – and then pretending that that’s somehow more true to the game.
    Long live the DH.

  4. Jonny5 - Mar 17, 2010 at 8:44 AM

    “Beings that perfect interstellar travel will have highly advanced, highly rational minds. The sort of minds that will never consider that a major sports league created something as ridiculously awful as the designated hitter.”
    I couldn’t agree more. Every man who hits the field for defense should also have to play offense. Unless they’re pulled from the rest of the game. QB’s all tackle. Punters and kickers do too….. Tony LaRussa for commissioner of Baseball, he’d be perfect for that job imo. “There’s no doubt in my mind that the game of baseball in all its beauty and entirety is the National League game. I would kick the D.H. out so quick it would make your head spin.”

  5. Grant - Mar 17, 2010 at 9:50 AM

    Tony La Russa, the progenitor of the 12-man pitching staff, as some kind of paragon of baseball purity? Earl Weaver would not be pleased.

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