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Jose Canceco subpoenaed to testify in Roger Clemens case . . . and it's hilarious

Mar 23, 2010, 12:31 PM EDT

This may be my favorite “celebrity” tweet of all time.  Three tweets, actually, from Jose Canceco. First, how he’ll be spending his afternoon:


The fbi will be at my house in 20 minutes kind of
scared will let u no what they want if I can after they leave

Then, after being asked why the FBI is coming:


maybe because what I say has a lot of weight I
should be a politition

Then, the interesting part:

Omg I just got a subpoena to testify before the grand jury about roger clemens,andrew pettite and others on Thursday april 8 2010 at 100 pm

Fun!  I hope the grand jury is briefed ahead of time that the man is a living LOLcat.

  1. Charles Gates - Mar 23, 2010 at 1:14 PM

    Craig, how many twitterers/tweeters/twits do you subscribe to?
    I keep picturing your mother’s basement looking like The Plague’s office from Hackers, where you have multiple screens, each dedicated to particular news feed, MLB TV on mute, and the floor littered with a cemetary of diet coke cans and bourbon bottles.

  2. Moses Green - Mar 23, 2010 at 1:15 PM

    The good news for Roger, Andrew and others? Thursday april 8 2010 at 100 pm will represent rock bottom. Life can only get better after that.

  3. Craig Calcaterra - Mar 23, 2010 at 1:17 PM

    It’s actually a lot more like Ozymandias from “Watchmen” sitting in his Antarctic lair, monitoring the world via a massive wall of video screens. Really, I’m wearing a costume, I have a genetically-modified cat by my side, and I just killed my ambiguously Asian manservants with poisoned champagne and exposure.
    Pretty neat setup, really.

  4. Maury Brown - Mar 23, 2010 at 1:17 PM

    OMG! OMG! OMG!

  5. The Common Man - Mar 23, 2010 at 1:17 PM

    Jose Canseco: The gift that just keeps getting. Now I want Ozzie Canseco to get a Twitter account.

  6. Ralph Kramden - Mar 23, 2010 at 1:19 PM

    He may be a “living LOLcat”, but his book “Juiced” has held up pretty darned well, after being widely maligned when it came out.

  7. Joey B - Mar 23, 2010 at 1:34 PM

    Canseco v Clemens
    In how many H2H’s is Canseco considered to good guy?

  8. jwb - Mar 23, 2010 at 1:35 PM

    I like this one:
    “I am on the toilet thinking about writing a third book”

  9. yankeh8r - Mar 23, 2010 at 1:47 PM

    While I think his motives for coming clean were obviously monetary as it seems he’s willing to do about anything for some cash as of late, there’s no denying that what he’s stated about baseball and certain players has held up and been confirmed time and time again. if only Lizzie McGwire, Tony La Wussa and Roger Clementine would come clean maybe they could make some cash too!

  10. Big Harold - Mar 23, 2010 at 1:50 PM

    Is Jose Canceco a vampire or something? What is it going to take to be rid of him a steak in the heart?

  11. YANKEES1996 - Mar 23, 2010 at 1:59 PM

    Can you get Grand Jury Testimony on pay per view or court tv or something?, it may provide a few laughs.

  12. Ice Berg - Mar 23, 2010 at 2:16 PM

    Too short; didn’t read.

  13. John F - Mar 23, 2010 at 2:35 PM

    I agree with the poster above about Canseco’s book holding up well. I read it at the time for a laugh and came away thinking this guy is way more credible than I ever imagined he would be. Sure he’s nut all around. No argument there, but the fact that the FBI is willing to put him on the stand speaks volumes. Canseco is a modern day whistle blowing blackballed Jim Bouton, but most of what he wrote in that first book about steroids has really held up pretty well against all odds.

  14. Aries - Mar 23, 2010 at 4:23 PM

    If you would have told me ten years ago that Jose Conseco was more credible than Roger Clemens, I would have laughed. The baseball world has certainly changed.

  15. Mike - Mar 23, 2010 at 4:56 PM

    Hands down the most truthful comment I’ve ever heard on these boards.

  16. The Rabbit - Mar 23, 2010 at 6:03 PM

    “No argument there, but the fact that the FBI is willing to put him on the stand speaks volumes.”
    I won’t disagree that Canseco’s book has some proven credibility, but IMHO the FBI would subpoena my cat, Al Puhols Katz, if it thought he knew anything about something it were investigating. Grand juries hearings should never be confused with actual trials.

  17. Old Gator - Mar 23, 2010 at 6:22 PM

    Two plus two equals four. Top that.
    .
    But I’ll say one thing – I sure feel a lot safer out on the Palmetto Expressway, or any other road in Macondo, knowing that he’s in California now.

  18. Rambler - Mar 23, 2010 at 10:37 PM

    As much as I hate to say it, Canseco actually deserves to be in the Hall of Fame for coming forward and telling all about baseballs dirty little secret. When he first came out with these aligations, I laughed them off because as a ballplayer myself, I couldn’t for the life of me see how ‘roids could make you such a much better ballplayer. Wow…was I ever naive.
    Thank you Jose. Not because I think you did it for the right reasons, I know you just wanted to make a buck. But now I appreciate the players the do it clean that much more.
    Bud Selig…you should be in jail, along with every other manager and owner that knew that this was going on, and playing the lifelong fans of this game as fools.

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