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Ballplayers think that little shiny bracelets improve their performance

Mar 24, 2010, 8:30 AM EDT

We live in a world in which PED hysterics say things like “ballplayers wouldn’t take HGH if it didn’t improve their performance.”  We also live in a world where ballplayers wear shiny little mylar bracelets that are “digitally encoded with a frequency that your body can tune into” and which are claimed to give you the same sort of alleged benefits that can be found in new age b.s. like crystal power:

At least a dozen Phillies were wearing them yesterday, among them
Placido Polanco, Ben Francisco, Ross Gload, John Mayberry, and Charlie
Manuel. There was even one proponent from the medical community: “Doc”
Halladay wore a band on his left wrist.

“I’m wearing it because it’s red,” reliever J.C. Romero, who always
wears something on his wrist as he warms up, said. “I’m not sure about
the rest of it. If you think it helps you, it probably helps you.”

Manuel said he took the strength and balance tests Monday. He’d been
wearing a white wristband ever since.

“It’s just some rubber and that little disc,” Manuel said. “I don’t feel
anything, no. But you never know. When I was a hitting coach, if a guy
thought he was having success because of something, I didn’t say
anything. Let him think it.”

Step right up, folks, and witness the magnificent medicinal miracle of Simpson & Son’s patented revitalizing toniiic. Put some ardor in your larder with our energizing, moisturizing, tantalizing, romanticizing, surprising, her-prizing, revitalizing toniiiic . . . .

  1. Old Gator - Mar 24, 2010 at 1:08 PM

    I’m sorry to hear that, and you have my sympathy, but remember, it’s a damned sight less taxing to your ulnar collateral ligament to go blind that way, even partially, than to go totally blind the old way. Life’s a tradeoff.

  2. madhatters - Mar 24, 2010 at 1:51 PM

    So then you believe that the Phillies are the only superstitious team in sports?
    I think this is just a supercilious attempt to make the Phillies seem juvenile or put their success in a negative light.
    Why not write a post about guys who wear the same hat, jock strap, or under shirt throughout a season? Or perhaps just send a box of Mylar bracelets to Turner Field. I don’t think any team would mind a bit of jewelry so they could taste some of the Phillies recent success. Heck I bet Bobby Cox would wear hoop earrings if it meant he could get into the playoffs again.

  3. madhatters - Mar 24, 2010 at 1:53 PM

    however I really love the Simpsons reference in there

  4. Andrew - Mar 24, 2010 at 3:43 PM

    And when did he say that the Phillies were the only superstitious team?
    It’s probably a good thing the Eagles didn’t win the day they threw snowballs at Santa.
    Or the Raiders never win with all the debris they throw at games.

  5. CharlieH - Mar 24, 2010 at 5:29 PM

    This bracelet may or may not have any benefit, I doubt if any of you athletes would be able to tell. Just like there are golf and batting gloves, hand and wrist support for bowlers, arch supports and hose support, driving shoes and golf shoes, sweat bands and head bands, the list goes on and on. If it is a superstition, it sure beats the heck out of chopping off chicken heads all the time. Less expensive, less messy, and less time consuming. Check out your favorite athlete sometime to see what kind of extra paraphernilia he might be wearing and make fun of him for doing it, or check out your favorite sports writer. If it keeps them off the juice, why complain.

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