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Hanley awarded diamond-studded ".342" bling

Mar 28, 2010, 9:37 AM EDT

hanley headshot.JPGHanley Ramirez won his first National League batting titled in 2009, compiling a career-high .342 batting average over 652 plate appearances.  He finished second in NL MVP voting behind Albert Pujols and just ahead of Phillies slugger Ryan Howard, but on Saturday got his own little piece of hardware.

According to Joe Capozzi of the Palm Beach Post, Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria handed the young shortstop a diamond-studded “.342″ necklace yesterday outside of the Marlins’ spring clubhouse.  It was a total shock for Ramirez, who expressed his gratitude after receiving the flashy gift:

“I’m gonna save it in my safe,” said Ramirez, who wore the necklace out
of the ballpark after Saturday’s game. “Once in a while I’m going to
wear it. Every time I see that I’m going to remember Jeffrey.”

It’s a wonderful story, but here’s the best part: On April 9, the Marlins’ home opener against the Dodgers, 5,000 replica necklaces will be handed out to fans.  Sure beats a magnetic calendar.

  1. Rays fan - Mar 28, 2010 at 10:28 AM

    Ramirez doesn’t yet realize this was his pay raise.
    Now we await Old Gator’s response to this story.
    ReCaptcha: “flagged was”–sounds like Yoda’s refereeing football games.

  2. Morgan W - Mar 28, 2010 at 10:41 AM

    Wish my employer would buy me such gifts when I excell at my job. Classy. *Tongue just about poking through cheek

  3. Randall - Mar 28, 2010 at 11:16 AM

    That’s cool. Perhaps incentive to do better? Maybe if he hits .360 Luria will fit his grill for him.

  4. Old Gator - Mar 28, 2010 at 11:24 AM

    Well, I know you have brunch to get to and I don’t want to keep you waiting.
    A diamond studdend “342” necklace. It’s definitely the kind of accessorization that the well dressed pimps and coke dealers are wearing in Macondo these days, and it makes you wonder if Scrooge McLoria, the notorious art dealer, made his fortune selling Keanes, Clifford Irving originals and Paris Hilton body art. would have been better if Loria had ploughed the money he spent on that crass necklace (one hesitates to call it a ‘choker,’ doesn’t one?) into the bullpen this past offseason. I think Hanley would have been just as surprised to see a genuine set-up man and closer out there as he was when McLoria pronounced him tastefully decorated. Diamonds are appropriate in a way; you’d need to do Carbon-14 dating to find the last time Loria splurged on this team, not counting the slowly metastasizing Macondo Banana Massacre Field. Now he expects five thousand of us to wear one of these things. Replicas to the replicants! Wear them to what? The beach? So they can melt on our throats? So the little sequins can attract barracuda while we swim? So we can bet 3-4-2 at Lotto in our chance of a lifetime to help education in Florida (which needs it desperately)?
    .
    I’ll tell you where they probably won’t wear them: back to Joeprodolsharklife Stadium again this season. They will have fulfilled their mandatory one-game-per-season Feesh attendance requirement, filled out the forms that exempt them from having to go again until next season, and hang their replica necklaces from the little wire “L” at the top of their cats’ scratching posts normally reserved for a catnip ball.

  5. bigfun - Mar 28, 2010 at 12:24 PM

    “On April 9, the Marlins’ home opener against the Dodgers, 5,000 replica necklaces will be handed out to fans.”
    So what will they do with all the ones they’ll have left over?
    hiyo!

  6. Old Gator - Mar 28, 2010 at 5:22 PM

    Probably give the rest away over the remainder of the homestand.

  7. peteinfla - Mar 28, 2010 at 7:01 PM

    Every one who shows up for a game gets 5?

  8. Grant - Mar 28, 2010 at 11:22 PM

    Didn’t disappoint. Bravo.

  9. Ryan - Mar 29, 2010 at 11:02 AM

    I love how Loria’s name is on there – in letters which appear to be bigger than Hanley’s letters are. That is freaking hilarious – next time I give someone a present for Christmas, I’m going to make sure to spray paint my name on it somewhere first.

  10. Old Gator - Mar 29, 2010 at 11:51 AM

    I’m sure Scrooge McLoria is obsessing even now whether to sell away the naming rights to Macondo Banana Massacre Field or to name it after himself. Eternal glory or instant riches? Man, that’s as hellish a conundrum for a Republican as gay divorce is for the Pope.

  11. Ryan - Mar 29, 2010 at 5:31 PM

    And just like Domino’s, OG delivers – Too bad it was more than 30 minutes. Get a real job hippie!

  12. Old Gator - Mar 29, 2010 at 9:39 PM

    I haven’t felt like a hippie since Jerry died. I prefer to think of myself as an unreconstructed poststructuralist. Postmodernism rocks.
    .
    Incidentally, Anibal Sanchez got pounded by the Mutts but good today – seven runs in four innings. Everything he threw must have looked like a volleyball approaching the plate. Andrew Miller got sent down to work on his…um, well, to work on it. Whatever “it” is. As I’ve said before, they ruined that kid. If they’d just left him down in AA and then brought him up through AAA, by now he’d be sober and he’d be able to drive.

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