Comments on: Hanley awarded diamond-studded ".342" bling

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 21:39:26 +0000

I haven’t felt like a hippie since Jerry died. I prefer to think of myself as an unreconstructed poststructuralist. Postmodernism rocks.
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Incidentally, Anibal Sanchez got pounded by the Mutts but good today – seven runs in four innings. Everything he threw must have looked like a volleyball approaching the plate. Andrew Miller got sent down to work on his…um, well, to work on it. Whatever “it” is. As I’ve said before, they ruined that kid. If they’d just left him down in AA and then brought him up through AAA, by now he’d be sober and he’d be able to drive.

By: Ryan

Ryan — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 17:31:50 +0000

And just like Domino’s, OG delivers – Too bad it was more than 30 minutes. Get a real job hippie!

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 11:51:51 +0000

I’m sure Scrooge McLoria is obsessing even now whether to sell away the naming rights to Macondo Banana Massacre Field or to name it after himself. Eternal glory or instant riches? Man, that’s as hellish a conundrum for a Republican as gay divorce is for the Pope.

By: Ryan

Ryan — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 11:02:33 +0000

I love how Loria’s name is on there – in letters which appear to be bigger than Hanley’s letters are. That is freaking hilarious – next time I give someone a present for Christmas, I’m going to make sure to spray paint my name on it somewhere first.

By: Grant

Grant — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 23:22:14 +0000

Didn’t disappoint. Bravo.

By: peteinfla

peteinfla — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 19:01:43 +0000

Every one who shows up for a game gets 5?

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 17:22:07 +0000

Probably give the rest away over the remainder of the homestand.

By: bigfun

bigfun — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 12:24:05 +0000

“On April 9, the Marlins’ home opener against the Dodgers, 5,000 replica necklaces will be handed out to fans.”
So what will they do with all the ones they’ll have left over?
hiyo!

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 11:24:45 +0000

Well, I know you have brunch to get to and I don’t want to keep you waiting.
A diamond studdend “342″ necklace. It’s definitely the kind of accessorization that the well dressed pimps and coke dealers are wearing in Macondo these days, and it makes you wonder if Scrooge McLoria, the notorious art dealer, made his fortune selling Keanes, Clifford Irving originals and Paris Hilton body art. would have been better if Loria had ploughed the money he spent on that crass necklace (one hesitates to call it a ‘choker,’ doesn’t one?) into the bullpen this past offseason. I think Hanley would have been just as surprised to see a genuine set-up man and closer out there as he was when McLoria pronounced him tastefully decorated. Diamonds are appropriate in a way; you’d need to do Carbon-14 dating to find the last time Loria splurged on this team, not counting the slowly metastasizing Macondo Banana Massacre Field. Now he expects five thousand of us to wear one of these things. Replicas to the replicants! Wear them to what? The beach? So they can melt on our throats? So the little sequins can attract barracuda while we swim? So we can bet 3-4-2 at Lotto in our chance of a lifetime to help education in Florida (which needs it desperately)?
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I’ll tell you where they probably won’t wear them: back to Joeprodolsharklife Stadium again this season. They will have fulfilled their mandatory one-game-per-season Feesh attendance requirement, filled out the forms that exempt them from having to go again until next season, and hang their replica necklaces from the little wire “L” at the top of their cats’ scratching posts normally reserved for a catnip ball.

By: Randall

Randall — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 11:16:09 +0000

That’s cool. Perhaps incentive to do better? Maybe if he hits .360 Luria will fit his grill for him.

By: Morgan W

Morgan W — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 10:41:54 +0000

Wish my employer would buy me such gifts when I excell at my job. Classy. *Tongue just about poking through cheek

By: Rays fan

Rays fan — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 10:28:24 +0000

Ramirez doesn’t yet realize this was his pay raise.
Now we await Old Gator’s response to this story.
ReCaptcha: “flagged was”–sounds like Yoda’s refereeing football games.