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And That Happened: Sunday's Scores and Highlights

Apr 5, 2010, 5:33 AM EDT

Pedroia fist pump.jpgRed Sox 9, Yankees 7:  The Yankees were supposed to have a great bullpen. The Red Sox weren’t supposed to have enough offense because of all that run prevention they had imported. Well, The best-laid schemes o’ mice an ‘men gang aft agley, and all that. The Yankees blew a 5-1 lead. The Red Sox pounded out 12 hits, five of which went for extra bases. One of the Yankees runs — on the double steal — was the result of approximately 14 defensive mistakes on the same play, aptly pointed out by what I’m going to henceforth call ESPN’s “Matrix-vision.”

And I probably owe an apology. Before the game I kept claiming that it would be a turgid, boring and sloppy four-hour affair, and I was wrong about that.  It was a turgid, boring and sloppy three hour and forty-six minute affair.  But as Sox and Yankees purists have warned me, I shouldn’t complain. The additions of bad live singing by Stephen Tyler (“God Bless America”) and Neil Diamond (“Something that sounded almost but not quite entirely unlike ‘Sweet Caroline'”) only added to the pure, unspoiled majesty that is The Greatest Rivalry in All of Baseball.*

Oh, and the Red Sox’ magic number is 161.

*Why they didn’t have the best musical talent in the house performing last night is beyond me.

  1. Dave - Apr 5, 2010 at 8:27 AM

    I can’t believe you got paid to write this. It’s the first game of the season and your already complaining about something. Sit down, be quiet, and just be glad baseball is back. If you don’t like the “turgid, boring and sloppy three hour and forty-six minute affair” then don’t watch it.

  2. Joey B - Apr 5, 2010 at 8:50 AM

    “The Red Sox weren’t supposed to have enough offense because of all that run prevention they had imported.”
    They figured to be about 2nd in scoring this year. I’m more worried about our BP and the fact that Papi is batting 5th than I am about our offense.

  3. Church of the Perpetually Outraged - Apr 5, 2010 at 8:54 AM

    Woohoo ATH is back, I just went from 6 to midnight.

  4. Mark S (aka Moose) - Apr 5, 2010 at 8:57 AM

    Yesterday afternoon’s Easter dinner was delayed by several hours meaning the drive from Cleveland to Athens was going to occur until sometime after 7pm and I’d miss most of the Red Sox opener. Fortunately the state police don’t aggressively patrol Interstate 77 so I was able to pull into the driveway a little before 11 pm, got my daughter into bed and sat down to watch the Sox take the lead.
    Watching Joba give up an insurance run as Bard and Papelbon looked decent was more than sufficient for me, though I too questioned the fashion choice of Neil Diamond. The song itself made me smile, not because it was sung well but simple because I know my sister-in-law was happily singing along and all was good again as baseball is back as well as And That Happened).

  5. Andy L - Apr 5, 2010 at 9:14 AM

    Joey B is obviously Marco Scutaro under an assumed name, as he uses pronouns that indicate he is a member of the Red Sox team.

  6. Church of the Perpetually Outraged - Apr 5, 2010 at 9:23 AM

    Loved this comment about you Craig over at fangraphs via Carson Cistulli:

    Essentially my idea for the piece was to write something like Craig Calcaterra’s “And That Happened” except less complete, less informative, less factual and less funny. On the plus side, it’d be a tiny bit shorter*.
    *Seriously, I have no idea how he does it. I mean, I get that there’re things like the Extra Innings package and the internet and everything, but Calcaterra is a machine. If i have one complain about “And That Happened,” it’s that it forces me to imagine him doing all that work. That’s not the sort of thing I’d wish up anyone – let alone il mio paesano.

  7. Andy L - Apr 5, 2010 at 9:27 AM

    Andy L is obviously a jackhole for getting on Joey B for his pronoun usage. What a bunch of pretentious asinine puffery.
    Andy L apparently believes that he is quite impressive in his cynical detachment from fandom. Enough so to write a response post on a baseball site simply to make fun of an actual baseball fan.
    What kind of person posts on a baseball site to make fun of a baseball fan? Only a sad little Troll, that’s who. A pathetic, miserable piece of Troll Droppings.

  8. Matt - Apr 5, 2010 at 10:10 AM

    Magic number is 161 TO TIE. Orioles can still win 162.
    We can’t count the Orioles out before the first pitch!!! No. WE CANNOT.

  9. Kelly - Apr 5, 2010 at 10:11 AM

    It’s like…like I can finally breathe again.
    And I’m not sure – did Victor Martinez screw up on the double steal or something? ESPN didn’t cover it very well.

  10. RobRob - Apr 5, 2010 at 10:37 AM

    Boston’s Magic number is 162. There are three other teams in the division, as of this morning, they all have zero losses.

  11. Joey B - Apr 5, 2010 at 10:56 AM

    “Andy L is obviously a jackhole for getting on Joey B for his pronoun usage. What a bunch of pretentious asinine puffery.”
    Joey B is in first place with the best record in BB, so he doesn’t care.
    I was curious about why I had to be Scutaro. I think Joey B is more like Youk than Scutaro. Or maybe Joey can be Theo, or even Henry. Why would he need to be Scutaro?

  12. APBA Guy - Apr 5, 2010 at 10:57 AM

    It’s going to be a tough year with the NBC crowd. One game and the first comment is a complaint already.
    Ok, try this:
    – Jorge Posada goes 3/4 with a HR and Craig doesn’t alert us to his impending, no inevitable, Colossal MVP-type season. Craig loses the key Northeast demographic.
    – Sky Sports News reports the the Yankees-Red Sox score and the Mariners-Giants score and does not distinguish the regular season from the pre-season. Again, Craig fails to mention. British fans recoil in horror and never return to the site.
    – Finally, in a separate post, Craig fails to mention the world-changing implications of today’s Ben Sheets vs. King Felix tilt in rainy, cold Oakland. Pacific coast fans turn elsewhere for baseball recaps.
    That just leaves us ATH fans from the old days. We couldn’t be happier.

  13. Anon!Mice! - Apr 5, 2010 at 12:14 PM

    “Why they didn’t have the best musical talent in the house performing last night is beyond me.”
    Its Boston; they also voted Brian Scalabrine MVP of their last title winning Celtics team, you know what I’m saying? Unless Vanilla Ice or the Beastie Boys were available, no hip hop act was going to appear.

  14. Moses Green - Apr 5, 2010 at 12:16 PM

    I think we should just let Joey B Joey, and let Dustin continue to be a frickin lawn-jockey sized superhero.

  15. The Rabbit - Apr 5, 2010 at 1:06 PM

    Woo Hoo! ATH: Ultimate proof that baseball season has actually begun.
    On the subject of ESPN, I’m sure you’ve seen that Curt Schilling has been hired as an analyst. As if ESPN weren’t already unwatchable! It was probably a good hire, though. I’m sure I saw the words “narcissist” and “village idiot” as prerequisites in the job posting.
    Recaptcha: Braves column (which should be appropriate most days)

  16. JudyJ - Apr 5, 2010 at 3:58 PM

    Thank you, Rabbit – as if they could make us more miserable during the games they broadcast!

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