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Winners! Losers! Awards! Your 2010 predictions, guaranteed correct or your money back

Apr 5, 2010, 8:58 AM EDT

Opening Day.jpg

Never make predictions, especially about the future.

– Casey Stengel

That’s some great advice, Casey, but it’s Opening Day, we’re all happy and giddy and optimistic and everything, so let’s moot the entire season right now by telling you everything that’s going to happen.  As the headline says, 100% correct or your money back.

THE DIVISION RACES

If you’ve been following the Springtime Storylines you already know what I think is going to happen in all the races this year, but let’s put them all down in one place so that they’ll be easier to find this October when you’re all ready to congratulate me for my shocking prescience. Links go to the full-blown team preview.

AL East: Yankees, Rays, Red Sox, Orioles, Blue Jays
AL Central: Twins, Tigers, White Sox, Royals, Indians
AL West: Angels, Rangers, Mariners, Athletics

NL East: Braves, Phillies, Marlins, Mets, Nationals
NL Central: Cardinals, Reds, Brewers, Cubs, Astros, Pirates
NL West: Rockies, Dodgers, Giants, Diamondbacks, Padres

Predicting the playoffs is a fool’s errand because approximately 3,252 things are going to happen between now and October that will impact all that, but why not?

  • Yankees beat the Twins and the Rays beat the Angels in the ALDS
  • Yankees beat the Rays in the ALCS
  • Braves beat the Cardinals and the Rockies beat the Phillies in the NLDS
  • Rockies beat the Braves in the NLCS
  • Yankees beat the Rockies in the World Series

Oh, stop your complaining. It’s not like you know any better.

AWARDS

AL MVP: Kendry Morales. I can’t say why other than to say that no one on the Yankees or Rays will get credit for a great year because it’ll be viewed as a total team effort and because writers will only vote for Mauer and Morneau so many times.

NL MVP: Troy Tulowitzki, partially because he’s awesome, partially because Pujols fatigue will cause voters to search for other candidates despite the fact he’s still the best player in baseball.

AL Cy Young:  CC Sabathia because, despite the fact that Greinke will pitch better than him, the writers won’t want to give another 16 game winner the Cy Young. And no, last night’s game won’t matter in all of this, so just cut it out.

NL Cy Young:  Roy Halladay, who will simply abuse the NL this year.

AL Rookie of the Year:  Austin Jackson, not because he’s better than all the other rookies, but because he’ll have a lot more plate appearances and will compile some respectable numbers.

NL Rookie of the Year: Jason Heyward. We are all witnesses.

AL Manager of the Year: Joe Maddon, for managing an insanely talented team whose talent people won’t fully acknowledge past a flawed Red Sox team that no one will admit is flawed.

NL Manager of the Year: Bobby Cox. Part retirement gift, part legitimate for passing the Phillies, who everyone on the planet except me is picking to win the East.

So that’s that. As Johnny liked to say in the World Series threads last fall: MARK IT DOWN!!

  1. Charles Gates - Apr 5, 2010 at 9:07 AM

    If Halladay goes something like 23-5, 240 K’s, an ERA around 2.50, and the Phils win the AL East, is that enough to give the MVP to a pitcher?

  2. Craig Calcaterra - Apr 5, 2010 at 9:09 AM

    Freakin’ should be. There used to be a time when it wouldn’t take that much for a pitcher to win it. Damn shame they never get considered anymore.

  3. willmose - Apr 5, 2010 at 9:14 AM

    Craig, why not go all the way and pick Braves to win it all.

  4. Curious George - Apr 5, 2010 at 9:18 AM

    “Craig, why not go all the way and pick Braves to win it all.”
    .
    He ran out of Koolaid ;)

  5. Church of the Perpetually Outraged - Apr 5, 2010 at 9:25 AM

    So that’s that. As Johnny liked to say in the World Series threads last fall: MARK IT DOWN!!

    +1

  6. Megary - Apr 5, 2010 at 9:40 AM

    Now that the Twins are outdoors, I would just love to see a Rockies – Twins World Series.
    .
    Would have made John Facenda a baseball fan.

  7. madhatters - Apr 5, 2010 at 9:51 AM

    Does NBC know they’re paying someone to write a Braves blog

  8. YankeesfanLen - Apr 5, 2010 at 10:23 AM

    I’ll abide by your predictions, except Tigers in AL Central, and Rangers in AL West. AJax should be good for the Tigers, if they can finally get by the Twins enough for a series split, it might fall that way.
    By the way, what’s with that computer-comshmuter device at your former lair that has a mean bell curve? Can’t help but like that the Universe wins 103 games, then the Sawx, but everyone else in the middle with the Angels LAST in AL West.
    captcha: in mohegans-sublimal reference to Braves? Couldn’t be Cleveland

  9. Jonny5 - Apr 5, 2010 at 10:40 AM

    Fan Boy!

  10. Chris Simonds - Apr 5, 2010 at 10:41 AM

    “we’re all happy and giddy and optimistic”… well, all of us except you, who did nothing but piss and moan all through opening day (okay, night). Just wait until all those Braves fans, whose support for the team runs about as deep as a congressman’s ethics, start their tomahawk chopping and Indian war chanting. I’m gonna womp on your head all over these comments pages. And when the Braves tank, I won’t stop!

  11. Craig Calcaterra - Apr 5, 2010 at 10:45 AM

    It’s a free country, Chris. Do your worst.

  12. Matt - Apr 5, 2010 at 11:41 AM

    I said it before, I’ll say it again. Twins over Braves in 7 games.

  13. T.J. HOOKER - Apr 5, 2010 at 12:09 PM

    Craig,
    Your smoking serious crack if you think the Yankees are repeating. It must be some potent crack if you also think the Rays are making any noise in the AL East, they were a fluke and last year proved that.

  14. Drew - Apr 5, 2010 at 12:43 PM

    If the Phils win the AL East, then something’s gone awry. Something like this:
    http://www.theonion.com/articles/bored-bud-selig-makes-the-diamondbacks-an-american,17194/

  15. Charles Gates - Apr 5, 2010 at 12:53 PM

    You: +1
    Me: -1

  16. LEX - Apr 5, 2010 at 12:53 PM

    PHILLIES ALL THE WAY …..

  17. John - Apr 5, 2010 at 12:59 PM

    You know…as much as my obvious Red Sox fanboyism clouds my judgement, it’s really hard for me to imagine the Red Sox as being a “flawed team that no one wants to admit is flawed”…I can’t see one glaring weakness anywhere.

  18. John - Apr 5, 2010 at 1:00 PM

    You know…as much as my obvious Red Sox fanboyism clouds my judgement, it’s really hard for me to imagine the Red Sox as being a “flawed team that no one wants to admit is flawed”…I can’t see one glaring weakness anywhere, do you know something no one else does?

  19. JPOP - Apr 5, 2010 at 1:07 PM

    Braves win the NL East? Hilarious. What is your basis for such a foolish prediction? The Phillies are better at every position except catcher and third. But can Chipper play more than half of the season? Doubtful.
    Braves win 82 games tops.

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