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Chicago beat reporter ready to bury White Sox

Apr 23, 2010, 11:44 AM EDT

Joe Cowley of the Chicago Sun-Times reports on the White Sox and is one of the more, let’s say, outspoken MLB beat writers. He typically injects far more humor and opinion into his articles than the average beat writer, and in some cases far more criticism.
With the White Sox off to an ugly 5-11 start, Cowley began today’s article like this:

Obituaries are supposed to be saved for the dead. In this case, call it working ahead. On the South Side, you can start picking out the coffin, the plot and the pallbearers.

The bulk of the piece isn’t that gloomy, as Cowley admits “the White Sox are far from flat-lined” and adds “writing off a team three weeks into the regular season is a moronic practice.” However, the heavy focus on how bad Chicago is and how great Minnesota is might get my dander up if I was a White Sox fan (thankfully I’m a Twins fan, and so Cowley’s article does nothing but amuse me).
And here’s how it concludes:

So how does this play out if the product remains subpar? By May, expect a coach to be sacrificed. By June, a few players. Why would Reinsdorf want to pay for a Pierzynski on a fifth-place team when he can have a cheaper Tyler Flowers? Why does he need a Paul Konerko when he can slide Mark Kotsay there? But all eyes will be on the relationship between Williams and manager Ozzie Guillen. Can they live with each other in a purge or will fingers be pointed as the marriage has soured?

Either way, this slow start has a certain amount of doom and gloom about it, and the ending won’t be a pretty one. Maybe the Sox start playing to their potential. Maybe they even win 90 games and have us all laughing about the early-season stumble. What a story that would be. Unfortunately, the Twins aren’t much into fairy tales. They are a reality, focused on winning. Focused on planning funerals.

I’ll bring flowers.

  1. Xpensive Wino - Apr 23, 2010 at 12:40 PM

    Having to listen to that moron Ken Harrelson on their telecasts is reason enough to hope the White Sox lose 100 games. They gone!

  2. The Wizard - Apr 23, 2010 at 1:43 PM

    don’t bring flowers, bring Flowers

  3. Rib - Apr 23, 2010 at 1:59 PM

    Something I’ve always wanted to know: Is this the same Joe Cowley who actually pitched for the White Sox back in 1986?

  4. thisisbeth - Apr 23, 2010 at 2:02 PM

    I’m reminded of the Twins 2006 start, where the team was mostly written off in April and May. I remember sitting in the Dome with my friends watching the Royals play the Tigers on the Jumbotron on October 1, and saying to my fellow season ticket holders, “This right here is our reward for all those horrible games we sat through the beginning of the year.”
    Lesson: Never, ever give up.

  5. jwb - Apr 23, 2010 at 2:27 PM

    Nope, not the same guy as the one who threw the rare no-one game.
    “elegance described” Not really.

  6. The Wizard - Apr 23, 2010 at 3:14 PM

    no, not the same
    wiki says “He should not be confused with former White Sox pitcher Joe Cowley, who threw a no-hitter in 1986.”

  7. Old Gator - Apr 23, 2010 at 6:58 PM

    Careful when laying those flowers on the mound, Aaron. Ozzie will try to eat your brain.

  8. sizewaze - Apr 27, 2010 at 1:39 PM

    It’s very early still, and we won three in a row (only 3 under .500!!) so hope springs eternal. Thank God I’m not a Cubs fan. In that regard, there is no hope.

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