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The Pirates need a mercy rule for Brewers games

Apr 27, 2010, 9:28 AM EDT

Here are the scores of the last four Brewers-Pirates games. The Brewers have the big number in each of these, of course:

8-1
8-0
20-0
17-3.

Not that the Brewers are good. After all, in between game three and four of that list they lost three in a row to the Cubs, being outscored 25-4 in the process.  This is just a supernaturally-bad Pirates team, it seems.

Remember: this is the Pirates team which gave up 13 runs to the Dbacks in a single inning a couple of weeks ago. It’s a Pirates team that has been outscored 147-65, which has them comfortably on pace for the worst run-differential in baseball history. And it’s a mark they can attain even if they suddenly improve.

It’s hard to point to one single thing that is wrong with this team when so much is wrong, but I suppose starting pitching is the easiest target. Everyone is getting shelled and no one is even eating innings and saving the pen for another day in the process.

I figured the Pirates would be a bad team this year, but I didn’t figure they’d be this bad.  And while the crazy lopsided losses will cease sometime soon simply because such things aren’t sustainable, I see no way the Pirates can really improve themselves at this moment.

On the bright side, now even more great seats will be available at one of the best parks in baseball.  Sure, maybe you don’t want to pay your good money to watch the Pirates, but they gotta play a major league team, and half of a good performance is better than nothing.

  1. Moses Green - Apr 27, 2010 at 9:50 AM

    There’s no mercy in baseball, especially in Pittsburgh. The only long-range potential upside is that Pirate management finally accepted who they are and seem to be building the right way. No more older mid-range FA signings will hurt wins and losses immediately, but should pay off down the road. Neil Huntington seems to be undoing some of the more egregious errors of the Littlefield era.

  2. BC - Apr 27, 2010 at 10:18 AM

    At least the Pirates blocked an extra point in Game 3.

  3. Old Gator - Apr 27, 2010 at 10:51 AM

    A horsemeat and velveeta sandwich for the best Pirates joke of 2010. I’m buying. Decision of the judges (me and my evil twin Skippy) will be rendered at the close of play on September 30 and will be final. If we pick one of my own jokes, it’s too goddamned bad about the rest of you.
    .
    All that notwithstanding, with May the sitcoms go into reruns for the summer anyway. If I want to have anything to laugh about besides Sarah Palin speeches, I’m going to have to call U-Verse and see if I can buy a Pirates package.

  4. BC - Apr 27, 2010 at 11:05 AM

    I love autumn. It gives me a chance to sit at home and watch the playoffs.
    Kinda like the Pirates.

  5. BC - Apr 27, 2010 at 11:05 AM

    It was so foggy today that the Pirates couldn’t even see who was beating them.

  6. Old Gator - Apr 27, 2010 at 11:20 AM

    Noted and entered.
    .
    But is there anything uglier than a Mutts fan who is beginning to have hope?

  7. Darby - Apr 27, 2010 at 11:43 AM

    This just keeps getting worse and worse! They truly need to do something – maybe try a new manager?

  8. Chris Simonds - Apr 27, 2010 at 11:43 AM

    A little while ago you linked to a Kansas City writer who offered evidence that the Royals were the Peanuts baseball team. But the scores say it’s the Pirates. A 172 to 0 game looks like a possibility this year.

  9. Moses Green - Apr 27, 2010 at 11:59 AM

    The Pirates are so dumb they still think they got a great deal on that discount Big Ben’s Beef Jerky.

  10. BC - Apr 27, 2010 at 11:59 AM

    Can you contract a team in the middle of a season?

  11. YankeesfanLen - Apr 27, 2010 at 12:09 PM

    I’ve seen the Rabbit scuttling around here lately- wonder when the chance to buy will be it’s greatest- show up with the Miller Lite truck filled with quarters, it’s an offer they can’t refuse.

  12. Curious George - Apr 27, 2010 at 1:29 PM

    me and my evil twin Skippy

    You mean you’re not the evil one?? 8)

  13. BC - Apr 27, 2010 at 3:15 PM

    Well, at least the Pirates are trying.
    They installed a new pitching machine the other day. Unfortunately it beat them 16-0.

  14. Old Gator - Apr 27, 2010 at 3:24 PM

    Nope, I’m the socialist. Skippy, well, he sneaks into the bathroom with the Sarah Palin foldout from the last issue of American Spectator.
    .
    With only about 145 games left on the schedule, BC Moves into a solid lead for that free horsemeat and velveeta sandwich.

  15. Old Gator - Apr 27, 2010 at 9:42 PM

    Hell no, I ain’t the evil one. I’m the socialist. Skippy sits up all night watching reruns of the Sarah Palin Show on the Trailer Park Network.
    .
    With only 145 games left in the season, BC is well in the lead for that free horsemeat and velveeta sandwich. Let’s get with the program, everyone.

  16. Old Gator - Apr 27, 2010 at 10:05 PM

    Ah well, just when you think the system has totally lost a comment you composed six hours earlier, you send through as much of it as you can remember and knock the old one loose. Okay, you folks just got a little insight into my editing and revising process. Lucky you.

  17. Moses Green - Apr 28, 2010 at 2:04 PM

    I call “Mencia” on BC. Let’s just say the entries had a familiar sound. Google “baseball jokes”, first link http://www.baseball-almanac.com/humor3.shtml
    Every BC joke. Boooo. Like it’s the Apollo. Booooo.

  18. Old Gator - Apr 28, 2010 at 2:13 PM

    I am devastated. Okay, Mo, you crawl ahead. BC, go to your room. And stay away from the computer. Henceforth all Pirate jokes will be screened against baseball-almanac.com/humor, now established as the Turnitin.com of HBT.
    .
    There’s still a fresh hot horsemeat and velveeta sandwich waiting at the end of the rainbow for the winner. Even BC, if he suffers a spasm of originality and prevails. I had hoped to offer something that’s distinctively Peettsburgh, but I can’t figure out how to make a rust on rye. I guess maybe I could let the winner spread it with naval jelly on his own.

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