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Shelley Duncan, Dave Duncan in his underwear, my daughter and me

Apr 30, 2010, 12:14 PM EDT

Anna at ballgame.JPGI’ll bore you with one more story about my trip with the kids to the Columbus Clippers-Charlotte Knights game last night.

Shelley Duncan’s name is announced as he comes to bat for Columbus. Anna, my six year-old daughter, hears this and giggles a bit that a man is named Shelley.  I tell her that Shelley can be a man’s name too. She nods, but I can tell that she’s not letting this one go.  The subsequent conversation:

Anna: Why would his mommy and daddy name him Shelley?

Me: I told you, it’s a boy’s name too. [trying to change the subject]: Hey Anna, I actually met Shelley Duncan’s daddy once.

Anna [surprised and impressed, because she believes baseball players are impossibly famous and therefore unapproachable]: Really? Where?

Me: When I went on my trip to Florida last month. His daddy is a coach for another baseball team and I talked to him.

Anna: [still impressed] How did you talk to him?

Me: [thinking I'm impressing my daughter even more than I am] They let the baseball writers in the locker room after the game and we get to talk to the players and coaches. He was in the locker room after a game I went to.

Anna: What do they do in the locker room?

Me: [not paying close attention to where this is heading] It’s where the players take a shower and change out of their baseball uniforms after the game before they go home.

Anna: [thinking hard about this, and then breaking out into a mischievous smile]: Did you see Shelley Duncan’s daddy with no pants on?

Me: [sudden realization that, yes, I actually did see Dave Duncan with no pants on, and that I was actually talking to him as he was getting dressed. Think fast, Craig!]: Um, I don’t remember.

Anna: YOU SAW SHELLEY DUNCAN’S DADDY’S UNDERPANTS!  YOU SAW SHELLEY DUNCAN’S DADDY’S UNDERPANTS! [followed by uncontrollable laughter].

The subject was finally changed with cotton candy.  Multiple innings go by and I figured it was dropped for the night. I was wrong.

It was getting late, I had tired kids, so we left the game in the top of the eighth. As we’re leaving, we walked down a sidewalk that follows along the outfield wall with little places to look-in and watch the game for free. Anna stops as she sees Shelley Duncan in right field, just a couple dozen yards from where we were standing.

Anna: Hey Shelley Duncan! My daddy saw your daddy in his underpants! [followed by giggling the entire drive home].

I have no idea if Duncan heard this. I desperately hope that he did not.

  1. Moses Green - Apr 30, 2010 at 12:27 PM

    That’s unbelievably great, hilarious. Your kids are born hecklers.

  2. SouthofHeaven - Apr 30, 2010 at 12:32 PM

    Amazingly awesome story. Also, why is Shelley still in the damn minor leagues?!

  3. MarkH - Apr 30, 2010 at 12:38 PM

    That. Was. Awesome. Best story I’m going to hear for a while. thought I have to say — I’d have taken her back to yell it again, just in case Duncan didn’t hear it the first time.
    Also: strangely disappointed this is your only post with the “I’m ruining my daughter” tag. You need to work on that some more. :-)
    (Capcha: “ware tomorrow.” They’re starting to worry me.)

  4. Moses Green - Apr 30, 2010 at 12:41 PM

    The great thing about the last two tags is that you can read them as a complete sentence.

  5. itty bitty baseball - Apr 30, 2010 at 12:47 PM

    You desperately hope that he did not. Better that he read about it in a national blog.

  6. Stuart - Apr 30, 2010 at 12:55 PM

    Craig,
    thanks for putting a smile on my face!

  7. Chris Simonds - Apr 30, 2010 at 12:56 PM

    Your daughter is already ruined. You gave her your smart-aleck genetics. Can’t wait til she starts a blog of her own.

  8. Simon DelMonte - Apr 30, 2010 at 1:28 PM

    I usually don’t use ROFTL on a sports blog. Nevertheless…
    Anyone got Dave Duncan’s e-mail address?
    (Captcha? The awkward.)

  9. Jonny5 - Apr 30, 2010 at 2:11 PM

    Craig, that was awesome. She must get her sense of humor from mom, because damn! She’s an 8 year old Comedy Phenom, and well, you aren’t that funny, no offense or anything but you got toasted by your daughter and all. Yaknow, you might as well have her skip college and go right into drama class. Very funny.

  10. scatterbrian - Apr 30, 2010 at 2:17 PM

    That’s pretty damn priceless. That’s a story she’ll be telling your grandkids.
    .
    Did you notice any reactions from bystanders?

  11. Chipmaker - Apr 30, 2010 at 4:36 PM

    Ah, the joys and wonders of fatherhood.
    recapcha: nanette one — will the Curse of the Bambino never die off completely?

  12. The Rabbit - Apr 30, 2010 at 6:05 PM

    Too funny!
    recaptcha: “better sassier” How true!

  13. Son of Shane Mack - Apr 30, 2010 at 8:30 PM

    Priceless.

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