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And That Happened: Sunday's Scores and Highlights

May 3, 2010, 5:00 AM EDT

Johan Santana sitting.jpgPhillies 11, Mets 5: Look, there are about 17 different ways in which
Johan Santana’s awful night could be described, but I think the fact
that he walked Jamie Moyer with the bases loaded in the fourth pretty
much tells you all you need to know. The Victorino grand slam that
immediately followed was less troublesome than that in my mind. Final line for
Santana: 3.2 IP, 8 H, 10 ER, 4 HR. On the bright side, after the
Phillies put up the nine-spot in the fourth, I was able to turn off the
game and go through the cool stuff I bought at the baseball card show I
went to yesterday. My favorite find: the SI issue from 1972 with Dick
Allen smoking a cig and juggling baseballs in the White Sox dugout on the cover
. It’s
totally going up on the wall of my office. You know, for inspiration.

Rays 1, Royals 0:  Gary Gooper in “High Noon” had more help than Zach Greinke has whenever he takes the hill. He ought to throw his badge in the dirt and get on the train with Grace Kelly and leave town. Four hit, a single earned run, six strikeouts and another loss. He’s gonna wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For
a tin star.

Tigers 5, Angels 1: Justin Verlander had been as inefficient as a Rube Goldberg machine his past couple of starts, but he streamlined things nicely — at least for him — with a three-hit, 7K, 0BB 120-pitch outing against the Halos. He retired 23 straight Angels at one point.

Dodgers 9, Pirates 3: Eight strong innings from Hiroki Kuroda, four hits from Blake DeWitt, a 3 for 4 day from James Loney and a 3 for 5 with two homers from Andre Ethier help the Dodgers complete a ship-righting series against the Pirates.

Rockies 4, Giants 1:  Jason Giambi apparently created some sort of infinite improbability field in the fourth inning which allowed him to commit the quite improbable act of a lummox like him stealing second base. This no doubt rattled Jonathan Sanchez to no end, because he walked three straight batters after that, giving the Rockies a 1-0 lead. The rest of the game promptly vanished in a puff of ill-logic, at least from the Giants’ perspective.

Rangers 3, Mariners 1: Tough luck no-decision for Doug Fister, who was perfect into the sixth inning and gave up only three hits through eight, but then had David Aardma come in and blow the save. Not that he was rocked or anything. In fact, the Rangers won this one without the benefit of a single extra-base hit, which isn’t something you see every day.

Padres 8, Brewers 0: The Brewers were shutout in three of the four games of this series and were outscored 21-2. To say that they’re reeling would be such an insult to reels everywhere that the Zebco corporation would probably consider filing suit.

Orioles 3, Red Sox 2: And the sweep. Nice start from Josh Beckett, but Jason Varitek getting gunned down at home by a mile in the eighth (why was he not pinch-run for again, Terry?) and Jonathan Papelbon failing to get the job done in the tenth (his second inning of work) doomed Boston.   The Orioles have seven wins on the season. Four of them have come against the Bosox.

Cubs 10, Diamondbacks 5: The Cubs take three of four from Arizona on the strength of Alfonso Soriano’s four homers and 10 RBIs. The Cubs have won 7 of 10.

Blue Jays 9, Athletics 3: Shaun Marcum snags the win with plenty of run support after a handful of tough luck losses. The Jays are back to .500, confounding my expectations of them being some trainwreck of a 90+ loss team this year.

Cardinals 6, Reds 0: Chris Carpenter toyed with the Redlegs (7 IP, 2 H, 0 ER, 8K). Albert Pujols had a bases loaded double. Aaron Harang has had a nightmare of a season so far, but he was decent enough yesterday, giving up three runs over six innings, striking out six and not walking anyone. The Reds highlight of the day, however, came up on Columbus at that card show I went to, when I spotted an autographed photo of Pete Rose flipping the bird while wearing a loud and garish 1970s business suit. Dude wanted too much for it, though, so I gave it a pass. I’m regretting it this morning.

Yankees 12, White Sox 3: Seven shutout innings from Phil Hughes and an offensive onslaught gives the Yankees yet another series win. Someone told Mark Teixeira it was May (4 for 5, 2B, 2 RBI).

Braves 7, Astros 1: A much-needed sweep for the Braves. Jason Heyward went 2 for 3 with 3 RBI (Yawn). Melky Cabrera went 2 for 3 with 3 RBI and Derek Lowe pitched well (someone alert the authorities).

Marlins 9, Nationals 3: Hanley Ramirez hit a pair of homers and had 4 RBI. Someone told Hanley it’s May too, because as soon as the calendar changed, he got hot.

Twins 8, Indians 3:  Catcher Wilson Ramos, filling in for the injured Joe Mauer, gets four hits in his major league debut. That’s a pretty rare feat, as it has been 12 years since the last time someone had four hits in his major league debut. Francisco Liriano was relatively mortal for once, giving up three runs in seven innings, but he still struck out nine, and with 20 hits behind him, he didn’t need to throw a one-hitter or anything crazy like that.

If you’re wanting to nitpick I suppose you could wonder how a team that got 20 hits and five walks only scored eight runs, but I’m not really in the mood to nitpick: I have a whole box of baseball card show swag to mess with this morning, and that’s way more fulfilling than talking about hitting with runners in scoring position and all that jive.

  1. Moses Green - May 3, 2010 at 6:23 AM

    If you pinch-run for Varitek that means you have to put VMart behind the dish. His throwing arm has already vaporized several ballgames with 10-megaton illogic death rays. Francoma also wanted to give Victor a day completely off since he’s been scuffling.
    A better question is why do you send him there with J.D. Drew coming to bat. That ball could have had a drag-chute on it and it still would have nailed Varitek by ten feet.

  2. SouthofHeaven - May 3, 2010 at 7:15 AM

    What’s more embarrassing: The Sox getting swept by the O’s this year, or the Yanks getting swept by the Nationals last year?
    I’m going with the Nationals, just because I think the 09 Yankees were WAY better than the 10 Sox team.

  3. Old Gator - May 3, 2010 at 8:12 AM

    I usually watch ‘em one game at a time this early in the season and leave prognostications based on play aside. Still, it’s hard to imagine, even at this early point, that the Beanbags as presently constituted are good enough to finish ahead of either the Borg or the Rays.
    .
    I’m afraid that that fourth inning of Mutts-Feelies must have sent BC running to his medicine cabinet. I mean, I’m not even a Mutts fan anymore an I couldn’t watch. What in the name of Mahakali was Charlie Manuel thinking – or is that not an appropriate description of what he does? – leaving Santana in there to take such a beating? He was all over the strike zone and when he wasn’t throwing “crush me” signs he was eating dirt or trying to achieve escape velocity high. How do you not pull a pitcher who has already given up five runs and two homers and has just walked the opposing pitcher with the bases loaded? When Victorino stepped up you just knew what was going to happen and the Feelies thugs in the stands clearly knew it too, cheering like Taliban freshman at the beheading of a Danish cartoonist. Santana’s lucky that no one projectile vomited on him as he returned to the dugout.
    .
    And my Feesh. Well, Hanley’s ba-a-a-ack. Unfortunately, Coghlan and Maybin are still struggling for their footing, with last year’s ROY given the bench to ride against the lefty. At the same time, it’s going to be interesting to watch Gaby Sanchez getting better on a day-to-day basis. He made some pretty good picks of line drives yesterday, and it’s hard to imagine that Mike Jacobs occupied that position only a year and a few months ago. The Feesh get a day off to savor beating up on the basement boys for a chang and prepare for Lincecum and the Brobdingnagians. I don’t know why but I have a bad feeling about this series.
    .

  4. Old Gator - May 3, 2010 at 8:20 AM

    Nice to see you ruminating more rationally than you did yesterday on the Vichy Arizona thread. Not that I blame you. It’s hard to recall the last time such a collection of illiterate lowlives, anancephalics, Klansmen-at-heart and Faux News zombies crawled out from under their rocks all at the same time. And thanks for pointing out some of the noxious continuities of the “A” List. I had meant to wave to you but as you probably saw, I was doing my best Fess Parker on the Parapet of the Alamo impersonation over there myself. However, I never did get to say whether I would vote for Adrian Gonzalez for the All Star Team. I do need to make my position on that critical subject clear, but I’ll do it on this thread because there’s too much broken glass, piss, vomit and spilled beer on the floor over at the other one. Well – (drumroll) – I will if his play merits it. How’s that for a radical approach?

  5. Jonny5 - May 3, 2010 at 8:59 AM

    Hey there Gator, I think you have the “Manuels” mixed up. Ya see Charlie would have never taken Santana out since his boys were taking batting practice off “the best pitcher in the NL”. Jerry on the other hand came to his senses once he had a guy warmed up from his pen. And LMAO @ the “Taliban freshmen” comment. Too funny. And yes, the BoSox look as if hope is becoming hard to reach at this point.

  6. David - May 3, 2010 at 9:23 AM

    a High Noon and Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy reference! Craig, well played sir, you have earned your keep for the day, feel free to take the rest of the day off, your work is done here.

  7. Old Gator - May 3, 2010 at 9:29 AM

    Blush. Yeah, no more Manuels. From now on I put myself on automatic. It would be a lot easier to tell them apart if they didn’t look so much alike, thought.

  8. Moses Green - May 3, 2010 at 9:30 AM

    Whew – deep breaths. I can’t take it. I know the federal government has done a lousy job on immigration. I know Arizona feels like they were painted into a corner. Still – everyone has their own brush, and I feel that I must invoke the Warren Buffet / Goldman Sachs rationalization – AZ complains a lot but they just bent over while California alertly funnelled illegal immigrants eastward. Hard to complain too much when you’re outmaneuvered.
    I must confess, when Moses Green is feeling out of sorts with rage and getting ready to go after honkies, I post under a wide range of other names. I wouldn’t want you to have false hope for mankind, I’m also Kilgore Trout.
    Hello Jonny – nice to see you’re back to making sense as well. It makes me feel like maybe there’s hope for me as well!

  9. Jonny5 - May 3, 2010 at 10:06 AM

    Moses, there’s always hope. But when it comes to hope you must remember the words of a great, wise, man. ” Hope in one hand, and Sh!t in the other, then tell me which hand fills up first.”

  10. Moses Green - May 3, 2010 at 10:14 AM

    Ah well, maybe your first post was just the exception that proves the rule.

  11. Jonny5 - May 3, 2010 at 10:40 AM

    LOL!!! Well there aren’t truer words to be spoken than in my second post there Moses.If that doesn’t make sense to you, maybe you’re just wired up wrong? ;>P

  12. Aaron - May 3, 2010 at 11:56 AM

    “If you’re wanting to nitpick I suppose you could wonder how a team that got 20 hits and five walks only scored eight runs”
    Simple, they have guys like Michael Cuddyer who put up strangely decent numbers on the surface but are absolutely freaking brutal in clutch situations. I’m not a stat expert and can’t break down the numbers like people like Gleeman but I guarantee that if Albert Pujols came up with the sheer number of guys on that Cuddyer has come up this year he’d have 40 RBI’s already. The Twins inability to hit with the bases loaded is maddening.

  13. scatterbrian - May 3, 2010 at 12:43 PM

    Can I fix you some sandwiches?

  14. scatterbrian - May 3, 2010 at 12:45 PM

    “I never did get to say whether I would vote for Adrian Gonzalez for the All Star Team.”
    .
    I’m assuming this is hypothetical? Knowing your disdain for the game itself, I’m surprised you would even bother punching chads.

  15. APBA Guy - May 3, 2010 at 1:35 PM

    There’s still plenty of time for the Jays to lose 90 games. Winning against the A’s is like winning against the Pirates. It doesn’t tell anything about how good you are, only how bad the A’s are.
    The A’s live and die with starting pitching. With Anderson down (overuse, anyone?), the Duke of Hurl down (who’s surprised?), and Sheets ineffective, with his velocity down, that leaves Dallas Braden (Jamie Moyer Jr.) and Gio Gonzalez (work in progress) from the year’s original starting 5.
    Not that anyone should be surprised. The injury history of these guys is the best indicator of their likelihood of staying healthy. Just wait till Sheets goes down. Maybe Josh Outman will be ready by then.

  16. Will - May 3, 2010 at 1:42 PM

    “anancephalics”
    That’s anencephalic. If you’re going to keep calling anyone to the right of Che Guevara illiterate, you should check your spelling.

  17. Old Gator - May 3, 2010 at 11:25 PM

    Anencephalic means lacking a cerebrum, not having one and refusing to use it. If you’re going to criticize me for what was obviously a typo, you should check your medical dictionary.
    .
    Incidentally, Guevara wrote very well, very passionately. And I only accuse people of illiteracy when they demonstrate concrete evidence of same. There are plenty of other noxious traits of which I can accuse right wingnuts and neoconmen as well as idiots on the left or in the center, where there are plenty of them too; the main difference seems to be that left-wing idiots care too much about everyone else and having a supremely naive faith that treating right wingnuts like gentlemen will make gentlemen out of right wingnuts and imbues them with a reluctance to defend themselves or their positions with any passion, which in turn renders their so-called convictions pretty much useless. On the other hand, right-wing idiots, being consistently more selfish and mean-spirited, don’t give a flying crap about anyone else. This, of course, puts them in the oxymoronic position of having to band together with other assholes like themselves, which makes for some amusing contradictions in the odd, if vicious, things they say about everyone else. Unfortunately for those of us who are not aesthetically challenged, this also makes them say whatever it is they think they’re saying more loudly in hopes that the cacophony will drown out the logical flaws in their pretenses of idealism. All that notwithstanding, I like to offend on an equal opportunity basis. Scroll back a few months’ worth of these posts and find me the last nice thing I said about Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton or Harry Reid. Best of luck to you.
    Replying to comment from scatterbrain: Correct. I was speaking hypothetically. I usually get the voting cards placed into my hand at the turnstile, then use it to stuff my empty peanut bag for easy disposal on the way out three hours or so later. Used to be, I just left it sitting on the seat, but when Bud Light came up with his halfwitted idea about making home field advantage in the World Series dependent on an exhibition game, I needed to find a way to display additional contempt for both the game and for Bud.

  18. Old Gator - May 4, 2010 at 12:19 AM

    Since cheap sanctimony is always awake, I thought I’d point out I was aware of my own late-night bleary-eyed syntactical and tense-agreement errors before Will comes back with his wit-nit comb. Here we go:
    .
    Par. 2 lines 4-5 should read “…everyone else, have…”
    Par. line 7 should read: “…right wingnuts. This imbues many liberals…”
    Par. 3 line 3 should read: “…then use them to stuff…”
    .
    A nuisance? Sure, but in all fairness, if I agree to engage some jackass on a particular level of rhetoric, I suppose I ought to be consistent for the extent of the exchange.
    .
    Now then, it’s late and I’ve worn myself out baking banana walnut bread for our cell meeting tomorrow. Can’t subvert on an empty stomach or on little sleep.

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