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The worst bobblehead doll ever

May 3, 2010, 3:10 PM EDT

heyward grinning.jpgThe Slanch Report alerts us to what may be the worst bobblehead ever. It’s the Jason Heyward edition the Gwinnett Braves are putting out, probably out of spite due to Heyward not getting a chance to play for the Gwinnett Braves this year.

As Slanch notes via photographic evidence, the bobblehead looks nothing like Heyward. As he said to me on Twitter, one gets the sense that they just pulled “Generic Black Face #4” out of the bin, slapped it on and figured that commerce would take its course. Which it probably will — people at the card show I went to yesterday were poised to give their organs for any old thing with Heyward’s face on it — but it doesn’t make it right.

Anyway, I’ve been staring at the Heyward bobblehead for many long minutes trying to figure out who it actually looks like. Best I can come up with is C. Thomas Howell in “Soul Man.” Which, you may be shocked to learn, does not hold up as an entertainment.

UPDATE:  OK, as a couple of you have pointed out, the Heyward doll isn’t the worst bobblehead ever.  Brian Roberts takes that honor.

  1. Jonny5 - May 3, 2010 at 3:55 PM

    No bobblehead looks like who they portray. None that I’ve seen.

  2. Tim S - May 3, 2010 at 4:00 PM

    At least its better than this

  3. RickyB - May 3, 2010 at 4:01 PM

    I’m going with Mariano Duncan as to who the bobblehead actually looks like.

  4. Jeff V. - May 3, 2010 at 4:02 PM

    Bad yes, worst? No
    Notice how I linked to an nbcsports version of the story?

  5. Pete - May 3, 2010 at 4:13 PM

    Looks vaguely like Michael Jackson on the cover of Thriller

  6. Jonny5 - May 3, 2010 at 4:21 PM

    I have a winner!!! This bobblehead looks just like Milt Thompson!!! yeah, a dead ringer. And he’s an EX Brave. Could there be something to this??? Did the minor Braves find an old bobblehead mold from when Milt was a Brave??? hmmmm?????

  7. Joey B - May 3, 2010 at 4:40 PM

    “No bobblehead looks like who they portray. None that I’ve seen.”
    Yeah, I’m not quite getting it either. I’ve seen a couple of nice bobbleheads, but most are not exactly artistic endevours.

  8. JayT - May 3, 2010 at 4:49 PM

    Yeah, I don’t think this bobblehead is really all that noteworthy. Sure, it isn’t a good likeness, but they never are.
    Also, it takes several months of planning to get something like this made, so that’s why the triple A team had the promotion even though Heyward isn’t on the team. When they comisioned it, he was probably still expected to start the year in the minors.

  9. Old Gator - May 4, 2010 at 7:34 AM

    That’s nothing, you should see the Craig Calcaterra bobblehead that an anonymous fan sent the Heyward Child to keep in his locker. That thing looks more like Jobu than Craig. And it bobbles the wrong way, in direct violation of the Coriolis affectation.
    Health reform was great, but what the world really needs is an HTB matryoshka – an Aaron Gleeman outer shell (that’s the only way it would make sense) with Matthew, Bob, DJ and Craig concentrically insinuated into each other inside. Now just try and tell me that wouldn’t be a huge seller.
    Mickey Mouse wears a Bud Selig watch.

  10. jaryrob - May 4, 2010 at 12:31 PM

    many minor league teams give bobblehead dolls out of guys who palyers for them and got called up. It is a nice way to honor alumni players and it makes more sense than giving a figure of a guy who will never see the bigs. Plus the things were already being made in China when the team foudn out JayHey had made the Atlanta roster. To sum it up… this article is worthless and your negativity is crap too.

  11. Old Gator - May 4, 2010 at 2:44 PM

    I used to think that a bobblehead of George W. Bush reading My Pet Goat I saw in a photograph was the worst bobblehead of all. Then I realized that it actually was George W. Bush reading My Pet Goat.

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