May 5, 2010, 8:36 AM EST
As I mentioned last night, another guy jumped onto the field in Philadelphia. This guy was quite a piece of work. First, check out his Twitter page right before it happened:
“turn on the phillies game, im about to be on the feild!!!!!!!!!!”
You know what that means: his charge just went from second degree jackassary to premeditated jackassary. Not smart. I think that can get you the death penalty in some places.
Second of all, just look at the guy:
Forget the premeditated jackassary, I think you can get the death penalty for those pants alone.
Topping off his display of intellect was the fact that he had drugs on him when he jumped, resulting in a charge of narcotics possession on top of all of his trespassing/disorderly conduct stuff. Repeat: the man who planned on jumping out onto a baseball field in front of God, Chase Utley and everyone was holding. Brilliant!
Anyway, I felt kind of bad yesterday that the first jumper/taser thing led to so many people jumping on the “God, Philly fans are the worst” bandwagon. I mean, sure, there’s a history there, but the overwhelming majority of Philadelphia sports fans who aren’t idiots really don’t appreciate their whole sordid past being dragged out every time something happens.
But, man, wouldn’t it be a lot easier to look past all of that if fan idiocy didn’t continue to happen in Philly? In the past couple of weeks alone we’ve had an intentional puker and now two jerks running out onto the field. These things aren’t imaginary. They actually happened, and they probably require that the people who run Citizen Bank ballpark take a closer look at what the rabble are doing.
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- White Sox sign Adam LaRoche to two-year, $25 million deal 35
- Report: Red Sox offer Jon Lester six years, $110-120 million 72
- Report: “There is a 90 percent chance that Pablo Sandoval will sign with the Red Sox” 130
- A’s sign Billy Butler to three-year, $30 million contract 84
- Cardinals reportedly joining pursuit of Jon Lester 65
- Giancarlo Stanton’s contract is backloaded. REALLY backloaded. 148
- Braves and Cardinals swap Jason Heyward and Shelby Miller in blockbuster deal 157
- Braves and Cardinals swap Jason Heyward and Shelby Miller in blockbuster deal (157)
- Giancarlo Stanton’s contract is backloaded. REALLY backloaded. (148)
- Blue Jays sign Russell Martin to five-year, $82 million deal (135)
- Report: “There is a 90 percent chance that Pablo Sandoval will sign with the Red Sox” (130)
- Sexual assualt charges reinstated against Tigers pitcher Evan Reed (129)