May 5, 2010, 8:36 AM EST
As I mentioned last night, another guy jumped onto the field in Philadelphia. This guy was quite a piece of work. First, check out his Twitter page right before it happened:
“turn on the phillies game, im about to be on the feild!!!!!!!!!!”
You know what that means: his charge just went from second degree jackassary to premeditated jackassary. Not smart. I think that can get you the death penalty in some places.
Second of all, just look at the guy:
Forget the premeditated jackassary, I think you can get the death penalty for those pants alone.
Topping off his display of intellect was the fact that he had drugs on him when he jumped, resulting in a charge of narcotics possession on top of all of his trespassing/disorderly conduct stuff. Repeat: the man who planned on jumping out onto a baseball field in front of God, Chase Utley and everyone was holding. Brilliant!
Anyway, I felt kind of bad yesterday that the first jumper/taser thing led to so many people jumping on the “God, Philly fans are the worst” bandwagon. I mean, sure, there’s a history there, but the overwhelming majority of Philadelphia sports fans who aren’t idiots really don’t appreciate their whole sordid past being dragged out every time something happens.
But, man, wouldn’t it be a lot easier to look past all of that if fan idiocy didn’t continue to happen in Philly? In the past couple of weeks alone we’ve had an intentional puker and now two jerks running out onto the field. These things aren’t imaginary. They actually happened, and they probably require that the people who run Citizen Bank ballpark take a closer look at what the rabble are doing.
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- Chris Sale will be sidelined for three weeks with foot fracture 11
- Aramis Ramirez says 2015 will be his last year 32
- Francisco Rodriguez re-signs with the Brewers 9
- If addiction is an illness — and it is — Josh Hamilton shouldn’t be suspended 303
- Pirates open to massive extension for Andrew McCutchen 18
- Report: Josh Hamilton had a relapse this offseason that “involved at least cocaine” 86
- Yankees don’t plan on having to pay A-Rod’s $30 million in home run milestone bonuses 51
- If addiction is an illness — and it is — Josh Hamilton shouldn’t be suspended (303)
- San Francisco — and all of California — will consider a smokeless tobacco ban that includes MLB parks (131)
- Report: The Yankees were “fuming” at how A-Rod handled his early arrival to spring training (114)
- Cuban prospect Yoan Moncada reportedly signs with the Red Sox for $31.5 million, plus $31.5 million in penalties (106)
- Brian Sabean says that California taxes are a hindrance to the Giants signing free agents (102)