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And That Happened: Thursday's Scores and Highlights

May 7, 2010, 5:39 AM EDT

Andre Ethier Slam.jpgDodgers 7, Brewers 3:  Walkoff slam for Andre Ethier! Jonathan Broxton had blown a two-run lead in the top of the ninth, but Either untied it with authority to end it. It was Ethier’s second game-ending hit of the season and 11th since the
start of 2008. Video here.

Rangers 13, Royals 12: Texas jumped out to an eight run lead, blew it, and then hit back-to-back homers off Joakim Soria to come from behind. Note to the Rangers: there are no adjustments given for degree-of-difficulty. Just win the friggin’ ballgame the easy way next time, OK? In other news, make sure you have emergency provisions, your bible, your gun and head into your panic room, because the end is nigh: Yuniesky Betancourt walked twice.

Nationals 3, Braves 2: Scott Olson takes a no-hitter into the eighth, only to have it broken up by singles from David Ross and Nate McLouth. Then, 17 personnel changes of questionable wisdom later, Tyler Clippard gave up a two-run, pinch hit single to Jason Heyward — Jason Heyward? — yes, Jason Heyward.  All seemed lost for the Nats as the Braves loaded up the bases with one out in the ninth but this time Ross grounded into a double play. The Nats scored the winning run on a walk, a double, a walk and a single.  On some level it’s just easier to lose 5-1.

Phillies 7, Cardinals 2: I talked about Halladay’s day here, so I’ll leave that alone.  Here’s something to chew on: the Cardinals have looked absolutely lost in series against the Phillies and the Giants who — nothin’ personal San Diego Padres — look like a couple of teams St. Louis might face in the playoffs.

Pirates 11, Cubs 1:  The Cubs had a bit of momentum and the Pirates dead ahead, so you figured things would keep looking up. Then Pittsburgh sweeps ‘em. And what’s this? The Pirates actually win a blowout?  Must be the result of the Pirates’ “two-hour pregame meeting with a communications coach designed to build
their social skills and boost their image” reported in the game story. Word on the street is that they learned during the meeting that losing is a disease. As contagious as polio.

Giants 6, Marlins 3: Matt Cain had a no-hitter through six and pitched into the eighth. After him it took four relievers to get the final six outs, but really this one wasn’t close. San Francisco is in first place all by its lonesome now.

Diamondbacks 6, Astros 3: There goes Houston’s 1-game winning streak. Kelly Johnson hit his 10th home run which is further proof that the universe is random and lawless and that anything can happen.

Orioles 2, Twins 0: I’d like to think that the Orioles pitchers are getting a secret kick out of Andy MacPhail publicly criticize all the hitters, what with all of that “the hitting should be fine but the pitching will be a question mark” jazz from the spring.

Blue Jays 2, White Sox 0: The Jays’ fifth straight victory. If you weight the wins to account for the fact that three of them came against Cleveland, however, it comes out to 2.2 victories. Dana Eveland — who I continue to maintain is really the name of a second-tier actress from the old studio system days — three seven shutout innings, allowing only two hits.

Red Sox 11, Angels 6: Dear God, the Angels are playing some craptacular baseball lately. Scott Kazmir was terrible and his relief was not much better. Daisuke Matsuzaka walked three and allowed four runs in the
first inning, but after that he settled down. Victor Martinez homered and drove in four.  That’s, like, a gabillion straight losses for the Angels.

Rays 8, Mariners 0: I don’t outsource my recaps very often, but in this case I’ll make an exception. Here’s Dave Cameron of U.S.S. Mariner on last night’s game (“Hyphen” is M’s starter Ryan Rowland-Smith]: “You don’t need a recap of that. Hyphen sucked, the offense sucked, the
defense sucked, Snell sucked, and the weather sucked. So, why should
the recap be any different? They get the recap they deserve. When they
play like a major league team, they’ll get written up like one. Until
then, they get this.”  But seriously, Dave: don’t hold back. Tell us how you really feel.

  1. Old Gator - May 7, 2010 at 6:17 AM

    Matt Cain and I have little in common, but we both had smoked feesh yesterday. The Teal Titans continued their audition as human windmills if Terry Gilliam’s Don Quixote even though Terry has long since given up on making it, or maybe Scrooge McLoria is just looking to invest in that new Cape Cod offshore wind farm. His boys fanned another 8 times (that’s what, 40 strikeouts in two days or some such thing?), made their requisite two errors afield (generating one unearned run noncharged to the hapless Chris Leroux, for whom just about everything that can go wrong does go wrong – the only thing that hasn’t, as far as I can tell, is that he has yet to throw a pitch that circles the planet and hits him in the back of his own head). I’m not sure where the Feesh’s treeple A team is these days – they’ve changed it around about as often as the name of Joeprodolsharklife Stadium – but I think Leroux has punched hisself a teecket back there. If not now, soon.
    .
    Chris Coghlan continues in a sophomore slump that’s about ready to turn into a fullblown caldera, going that precious keeper-one for four to raise his average to .183 and once again get within sniffing distance of the Mendoza line from the wrong side. I don’t think he’s quite in as much danger of being farmed out and sold for ethanol as Leroux, but he better hope that alternative fuel research evolves a lot more quickly than his pitch selection skills.
    .
    At two under .500 after an abysmal 3-6 homestand the Feesh brain trust, such as it is, is going to be looking for scapegoats soon. I don’t know how many of you recall the “OJ O-Meter” that used to run in the New York Pestilence during the biggest show trial since Nuremburg and the Rosenbergs combined, but I suggest that, what with all that extra space in left center since Scrooge McLoria decided we could do without our out of town scoreboard, there’s plenty of room to put up a Fat Fredi Meter now. Teek teek teek, Fredi. You’re not making much but in challenging economic times there’s always somebody out there who will work for less. Just ask the current Beely the Marleen.
    .
    Oh, and speaking of the name of Joeprodolcharklife Stadium, the Feesh have been showing peectures of the forthcoming Macondo Banana Massacre Stadium and selling seats for it in advance. This is pretty funny when you look around Jopeprodolsharklife on a warm summer midweek evening and there’s no one else there except the ghosts of fans passed. I guess they figure it’s easier to sell seats in an impossibly inconvenient place to reach that isn’t there yet than to a centrally located, easy to access place that is. What I find most hilarious, of course, is that they’re calling it “Marlins Field” in the images on the Hulkatron, but would everyone who thinks Scrooge McLoria has no plans to sell the naming rights please raise their fleepers? Me, I think it’s liable to wind up being named “Spirit Airlines Field” eventually, because he’ll feel comfortable with yet another organization that knows how to nickel-and-dime the shit out of its customers.

  2. OsandRoyals - May 7, 2010 at 6:24 AM

    If the Orioles pitching aren’t getting a kick out of it, it’s because they’re trying to out-Royal the Royals pitching staff.
    Millwood is apparently trying to get into the Greinke conversation for player least deserving to go 0-10. He’s currently at 0-3 with a 3.15 ERA and ranked 9th in the AL with 40 innings pitched. He goes up against Liriano tomorrow so he’ll probably end up with another tough luck loss

  3. Moses Green - May 7, 2010 at 8:59 AM

    In Beantown news – laser show. All week. And Victor Martinez finally joined the show. I guess the Fens didn’t fall into the boiling Boston Harbor after all.
    Now Dustin Pedroia gets ready to put on a laser show for the visiting Borg.
    Question – if Boston Harbor actually boiled, would it smell like Tea?

  4. APBA Guy - May 7, 2010 at 9:14 AM

    And I thought I was tough on the A’s and Wolff/Fisher. Compared to Gator and Dave Cameron of USS Mariner I’ve been as soft as…never mind.
    Of course, for now, the A’s are in first. The road record is remarkably similar to the Angels and Mariners (we’re 4-8, they’re 4-9). It’s the home record (11-6) that distinguishes the A’s, maybe it’s all that youthful energy covering the expanse of foul territory. Or maybe it’s who we’ve played. At home the A’s have only lost one series, and that to the Yankees.
    But tonight the over-heated Rays pay a visit to the Mausoleum after lately demolishing the Mariners in a yard as big as our own. That isn’t a good sign.
    Interesting addendum to the attendance discussion about the A’s. Ray Ratto of the Chron pointed out that when AT&T opened up A’s attendance dropped about 10,000 per game immediately. People like myself who’d been making the drive across the bridge to see the A’s bought orange hats and discovered that a new ballpark with great views and a big-name slugger was more interesting than a team in a football anachronism that was losing all its name players.

  5. Church of the Perpetually Outraged - May 7, 2010 at 9:23 AM

    RE: Rangers vs Royals, Joe Pos couldn’t have said it better (via his twitter feed)
    Royals have come all the way back from 8-0 down to take 12-11 lead. why does heartbreak seem likely?
    Sure…Joakim Soria will give up back-to-back home runs for the first time in career. Why not?
    For the record, it wasn’t a jinx. It was stating the obvious. You can’t “jinx” the Royals anymore than you can “jinx” the characters on Gilligan’s Island

  6. Moses Green - May 7, 2010 at 9:25 AM

    It’s partly the opposition. But they’re still smoking out various hitters and pitchers, and Jack Cust is hitting now in AAA … I’m starting to believe in the A’s. After all, they don’t have to beat the Yankees and Rays, they just have to play them as well as the rest of the lousy division does.
    If you’re Beane you have to be thinking this team can take the West.

  7. jonny5 - May 7, 2010 at 10:25 AM

    “Question – if Boston Harbor actually boiled, would it smell like Tea?”
    Only in December of 1773

  8. Old Gator - May 7, 2010 at 11:08 AM

    There’s tea and there’s tea. If you boiled the tidewater part of the Charles where it runs through Cambridge, it would smell like Alice B. Toklas brownies.
    .
    Caught this sound byte from the impoverished man’s Tony LaRussa, Feesh helmsman Fat Fredi, this morning. Faced with the reality that good pitching beat good hitting and that we had seen that in this series (assuming that you’ve got good hitting in the first place), Fredi told a local sports scrybe who ast him to be perfectly frank,* “The old saying that good pitching beats good hitting – you saw it this series” (*the mispelling and split infinitive were kept to communicate some of the flavor of local sportswriting, especially in the Macondo Harold).

  9. Ted - May 7, 2010 at 11:43 AM

    Ok I just want to defend the Cardinals games against the Phillies and the Giants because they have exactly been “lost” in those game. What they have been is unlucky with there rotation alignment more then anything.
    In the Giants series the Cardinals went up against: Lincecum, Zito, and Cain. They lost the first two and Penny beat Cain in game 3. Game 2 was Zito vs Wainwright in which the cardinals lost 2-0.
    The Phillies series is a little harder to swollow, but still had to go against Halladay in game 4 (with Lohse pitching) and Hamels pitched lights out in game 2 with Wainwright opposing him. It was a 2-1 10th inning win by the Phils.
    In addition Carp didn’t even get to pitch in either series!
    Basically the cardinals have gotten killed by lincecum and Halladay, maybe the two best pitchers in the National league and have thrown Lohse and Garcia against the two.

  10. Caladan - May 7, 2010 at 2:37 PM

    On the Giants, their spasmodic hitting makes them a threat to win the NLW this year, but it’s the next few years everyone should take note of. That CF Ford kid is an awesome leadoff hitter in the minors & ST! Add in hitting machine Posey, bombers Keischnick & Pill and a couple others plus awe-inspiring Bumgarner to the pitching staff (making it FIVE top tier starters in 2011-12!) and you have a monster team that threatens to dominate the game! Yes, even the boys in the Bronx should be quaking at the potential of this team!

  11. Caladan - May 7, 2010 at 2:46 PM

    Actually I meant to say – combine the Giant’s spasmodic hitting with their awesome pitching staff to be a threat this year. Then next year even the powerful Phillies, perpetually good Cards and even the Bronx bombers should be worried as no one will want to face them.

  12. IdahoMariner - May 7, 2010 at 2:57 PM

    “Then Pittsburgh sweeps ‘em. And what’s this? The Pirates actually win a blowout? Must be the result of the Pirates’ “two-hour pregame meeting with a communications coach designed to build their social skills and boost their image” reported in the game story. Word on the street is that they learned during the meeting that losing is a disease. As contagious as polio”
    that’s it. The Mariners need o talk to the guy that talked to the Pirates. If he could get THAT team turned around, he could get us headed to the playoffs.

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