May 27, 2010, 1:28 PM EDT
Yesterday’s Ray-stung-by-ray story had every internet jokester wondering how that would work if the guy played for, say, the Tigers or the Pirates. Today the Orange County Register’s Sam Miller tries to approach the question objectively by ranking the mascots by threat level.
Sam’s best line comes when noting that the Mets — short for “Metropolitans” or, in other words, “a person from New York” — aren’t that threatening:
If you’ve been to Brooklyn lately, though, you know there’s nothing
scary about it — there’s no crime, everybody’s a hipster, and thanks to
Bloomberg there’s not even any second-hand smoke or transfats to
When guys from Orange County, California can call out the poseur Brooklynites (and there’s a photo!), you know your race has run. Time to find somewhere else to live, hipsters!
And for the record, while there is no major league team where I live, we do have the Buckeyes, which are poisonous nuts. We scoff at ray attacks.
- Behind strong bullpen, Royals edge Giants 3-2 to take a 2-1 World Series lead 9
- Paul Konerko, Jimmy Rollins named co-winners of the Roberto Clemente Award 1
- The greatest trick this Royals bullpen ever pulled … 3
- Adam Wainwright underwent elbow surgery to “trim” cartilage 11
- World Series, Game 3: Royals vs. Giants lineups 1
- Andrew Friedman got $35 million to leave the Rays for the Dodgers … and he might be underpaid 13
- Shocker! Joe Maddon to opt out of his contract and leave the Rays 141
- World Series Reset: On to AT&T Park 14
- Shocker! Joe Maddon to opt out of his contract and leave the Rays (141)
- Erroneous Narrative Alert: no, the Giants are not a “gritty,” anti-stats organization (122)
- Pedro Martinez has some opinions about who the new “face of baseball” is (112)
- PANTY RAID! Homeland Security agents confiscate unlicensed Kansas City Royals underwear (109)
- The World Series ratings are low. So what? (101)