May 27, 2010, 1:28 PM EDT
Yesterday’s Ray-stung-by-ray story had every internet jokester wondering how that would work if the guy played for, say, the Tigers or the Pirates. Today the Orange County Register’s Sam Miller tries to approach the question objectively by ranking the mascots by threat level.
Sam’s best line comes when noting that the Mets — short for “Metropolitans” or, in other words, “a person from New York” — aren’t that threatening:
If you’ve been to Brooklyn lately, though, you know there’s nothing
scary about it — there’s no crime, everybody’s a hipster, and thanks to
Bloomberg there’s not even any second-hand smoke or transfats to
When guys from Orange County, California can call out the poseur Brooklynites (and there’s a photo!), you know your race has run. Time to find somewhere else to live, hipsters!
And for the record, while there is no major league team where I live, we do have the Buckeyes, which are poisonous nuts. We scoff at ray attacks.
- Bryce Harper pulled from Saturday’s game for not hustling 71
- Report: MLB likely to adjust rules for plays at home and transfer catches 18
- Settling the Score: Friday’s results 17
- Giancarlo Stanton sends the Marlins to victory with a walk-off grand slam 22
- Jason Bartlett will retire after 10 years in the big leagues 11
- Hank Aaron is getting vile racist hate mail in retaliation for pointing out that racism still exists (248)
- “They Don’t Know Henry” (167)
- Doug Glanville’s story about being racially profiled at his own home (125)
- There is still a racial divide in baseball (112)
- And That Happened: Tuesday’s scores and highlights (96)