May 27, 2010, 1:28 PM EST
Yesterday’s Ray-stung-by-ray story had every internet jokester wondering how that would work if the guy played for, say, the Tigers or the Pirates. Today the Orange County Register’s Sam Miller tries to approach the question objectively by ranking the mascots by threat level.
Sam’s best line comes when noting that the Mets — short for “Metropolitans” or, in other words, “a person from New York” — aren’t that threatening:
If you’ve been to Brooklyn lately, though, you know there’s nothing
scary about it — there’s no crime, everybody’s a hipster, and thanks to
Bloomberg there’s not even any second-hand smoke or transfats to
When guys from Orange County, California can call out the poseur Brooklynites (and there’s a photo!), you know your race has run. Time to find somewhere else to live, hipsters!
And for the record, while there is no major league team where I live, we do have the Buckeyes, which are poisonous nuts. We scoff at ray attacks.
- Chris Sale will be sidelined for three weeks with foot fracture 10
- Aramis Ramirez says 2015 will be his last year 31
- Francisco Rodriguez re-signs with the Brewers 9
- If addiction is an illness — and it is — Josh Hamilton shouldn’t be suspended 290
- Pirates open to massive extension for Andrew McCutchen 18
- Report: Josh Hamilton had a relapse this offseason that “involved at least cocaine” 86
- Yankees don’t plan on having to pay A-Rod’s $30 million in home run milestone bonuses 51
- San Francisco — and all of California — will consider a smokeless tobacco ban that includes MLB parks 131
- If addiction is an illness — and it is — Josh Hamilton shouldn’t be suspended (290)
- San Francisco — and all of California — will consider a smokeless tobacco ban that includes MLB parks (131)
- Report: The Yankees were “fuming” at how A-Rod handled his early arrival to spring training (114)
- Cuban prospect Yoan Moncada reportedly signs with the Red Sox for $31.5 million, plus $31.5 million in penalties (106)
- Brian Sabean says that California taxes are a hindrance to the Giants signing free agents (102)