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"Please don't bother Mr. Zito. No autographs tonight."

Jun 3, 2010, 2:12 PM EDT

This is rich.  It was originally reported int the San Francisco Chronicle, but I can’t find it there so I’ll link to the L.A. Times version (last item):

Giants pitcher Barry Zito was enjoying a drink at an upscale bar last week when a long-haired
young man in scruffy attire approached and a restaurant staffer
interceded, telling the suspected interloper, “I’m sorry, please don’t
bother Mr. Zito. No autographs tonight.”

The scruffy lookin’ interloper was Tim Lincecum.

  1. Brian - Jun 3, 2010 at 2:24 PM

    Here’s the original Chronicle article. It was in a restaurant column, not sports:

  2. Jonny5 - Jun 3, 2010 at 2:39 PM

    LMAO!!!! “But, but, but, I’m Tim Lincecum…” I bet he did two bong hits for that one.

  3. Moses Green - Jun 3, 2010 at 2:43 PM

    I can’t say anything because everyone will say I’m copying some Boston expatriate who’s stolen approximately 100 jokes from me without attribution. If you’re reading Billy, Craig is funnier and smarter than you and attributes his not-original funnies.

  4. walk - Jun 3, 2010 at 2:45 PM

    ROFL Thats an instant classic in my book.

  5. The Common Man - Jun 3, 2010 at 2:47 PM

    Obviously, Mr. Zito doesn’t want to be reminded of his minibus escape from the Unicorn Club (

  6. Randall - Jun 3, 2010 at 3:23 PM

    Damn scruffy hippie-looking multiple Cy Young winners.

  7. W - Jun 3, 2010 at 3:26 PM

    Actually, Lincecum was looking for the nearest Taco Bell and didn’t even realize that it was Barry.

  8. BC - Jun 3, 2010 at 3:30 PM

    Seriously, how BAKED must he have been?

  9. Old Gator - Jun 3, 2010 at 3:32 PM

    Reminds me of the time that Grace Slick, in full hippie regalia, walked into an Aston Martin (or maybe Rolls – six o’ one and all that) showroom in San Francisco and asked to see one of the cars. The dealer sneered at her, “you can’t afford it. It’s ninety thousand dollars.” Whereupon Grace pulled a couple of huge wads of $100.00 bills out of her backpack and slammed them down on his desk and said, “I’ll take it.”
    And yes, that was the same car she later piled into a bridge abutment while stoned on her ass.

  10. scatterbrian - Jun 3, 2010 at 3:45 PM

    That video seems like it should be funnier than it actually is. Or maybe I’m just over 28 years of Spicoli impersonations.

  11. B R S - Jun 3, 2010 at 3:47 PM

    That is almost as good as when Ruben Sierra was a Yankee and an older gentlemen walked toward him in the clubhouse. Ruben then barked, “No autographs!” The gentleman was Phil Rizzuto who was going to welcome him to the Yankees. Class act Ruben.

  12. Ryan Malmstrom - Jun 3, 2010 at 5:46 PM

    Joke’s on the waiter: no one wants Zito’s autograph. 😀

  13. Ray Whatley - Jun 3, 2010 at 6:21 PM

    Lincecum is an idiot. He’s a major league star pitcher and yet he looks like a typical, degenerate San Francisco hippie with that stupid long hair of his. Grow up Lincecum and be a man instead of a boy. Cut your friggin hair!!!

  14. Paul - Jun 3, 2010 at 6:31 PM

    yeah he needs to conform to your vision of society!

  15. skipperxc - Jun 3, 2010 at 9:51 PM

    If I made as much money and was as good at what I do as he is, I’d wear whatever I darn well please.

  16. Nathaniel D. Mendoza - Jun 4, 2010 at 2:34 AM

    To the Giants: I have been a Giant fan since Willie Mays,Juan Marichal, and Orlando Zepeda used to play for the Giants.
    I was just a small kid then, but I still have confidence in them(Giants).
    Whether they lose or win, I am still a fan. We have the best pitchers of the league. They are: Tim Lincecum, Barry Zito, Matt Cain, Jonathan Sanchez, and Todd Wellemeyer. I have a lot of faith in you guys, believe me. Not too mention the other pitchers in the bullpen. All you guys are super.
    I am happy that the Giants are getting Pat Burrell. Now, you guys are going to be unstoppable.
    I need for all that I mentioned to please e-mail me. Goodluck toyou all. I know you can do it.
    Bye.probated be

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