Jun 7, 2010, 9:03 AM EDT
Albert Pujols hit a solo shot in the sixth inning of last night’s game, but a kid — who thought he had some pretty sweet seats in the first row of the bleachers — got smacked in the chest with it. He was soon seen crying, though whether it was because of the pain of the ball or because he missed the catch with the glove he brought with him is an open question. But there was a happy ending: Albert Pujols saw the replay of it and sent the kid a bat.
Or maybe it wasn’t happy. Because now Pujols has created a perverse incentive against catching balls heading into the bleachers. Children everywhere will now thrust themselves, face-first, into home run balls, hoping against hope that they too will get a valuable piece of baseball memorabilia. Once this trend — that I’m no doubt not the first to recognize — becomes obvious, Mr. Pujols will be sued into the poorhouse and chain-link fences will be erected around the stands at every ballpark, transforming ballgames into something not unlike a prison rodeo.
Wait. That’s all crazy. Sorry. Just had a flashback to the old legal practice. I’m much better now.
- Report: MLB likely to adjust rules for plays at home and transfer catches 8
- Settling the Score: Friday’s results 17
- Giancarlo Stanton sends the Marlins to victory with a walk-off grand slam 21
- Jason Bartlett will retire after 10 years in the big leagues 10
- Pirates acquire Ike Davis in a trade with the Mets 47
- Hank Aaron is getting vile racist hate mail in retaliation for pointing out that racism still exists (248)
- “They Don’t Know Henry” (167)
- Doug Glanville’s story about being racially profiled at his own home (125)
- There is still a racial divide in baseball (112)
- And That Happened: Tuesday’s scores and highlights (96)