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PETA would prefer the Marlins use robot fish

Jun 15, 2010, 12:10 AM EDT

Last week we found out that the Florida Marlins are planning to put real fish in real salt water aquariums in the wall behind home plate at their new ballpark.

This week we find out the predictable reaction: PETA is protesting the proposal. The organization sent a letter to Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria denouncing the idea, according to the Miami Herald.

“Being exposed to the loud crowds, bright lights, and reverberations of a baseball stadium would be stressful and maddening for any large animals held captive in tanks that, to them, are like bathtubs,” wrote PETA executive vice president Tracy Reiman in the letter to Loria.

The Marlins, who unveiled the aquarium plans last week, said the see-through tanks would be constructed with the same material used in bullet-proof glass to ensure fish safety.

Marlins president David Samson told the Herald that he had not seen the letter, but said the fish would be “treated as well, or better, than any fish can be,” and didn’t sound willing to budge on the issue.

“I guess that’s a philosophical issue,” Samson said. “But there are beautiful aquariums all over the world and this will be one of them.”

But give PETA some credit, for Instead of simply protesting the use of fish at the ballpark, the organization actually offered up some palatable (to them) alternatives, including the use of “robotic fish that can ‘swim’ through water.”

Intrigued by the idea of robot fish, I did a little research (i.e. Google) and discovered that the Japanese have already invented a robot carp. Eureka!

Why a robot carp, you ask? I’m not sure, but I believe the Japanese will make a robot version of pretty much anything. They just like robots that much, and if they want to create this or this or this, who are we to discourage them?

Besides, they have done us a huge favor by solving this budding controversy over the Marlins’ ballpark aquarium. All the team has to do is shell out about $250,000 for each robot carp. No problem right?


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  1. Ace - Jun 15, 2010 at 9:59 AM

    Good, let’s hash this out. First of all, the dye and acid throwing is not in any way sanctioned by PETA. That is of course not their official policy. A few extremists engage in that sort of behavior, and sure, it’s wrong. You can’t blame PETA for it though.
    I don’t want to get into the question of God or anything here, but you make a key point when you talk about using creation WISELY. This is precisely the problem I have with the meat industry, that it is in no way a wise use of the earth’s resources. I have no issue with someone raising a cow on a small farm, and when the time comes, slaughtering it for meat. But the process whereby animals are forced to live their entire lives in small cages, pumped full of antibiotics, too weak to stand, fed the meat of their own species, and then brutally killed is not wise. (Nor is the toll that factory farming takes on the planet in any way wise.) It’s twisted and unnatural.
    I don’t need to ask myself who gave animals rights. Who gave mankind rights? Whatever the answer, I know that I have a moral imperative, as an evolved sentient being, to treat all life with compassion.

  2. Mike - Jun 15, 2010 at 10:00 AM

    Swing and a miss. Thrack!
    Swing and a miss. Thrack!
    Swing and a miss. Thrack!
    And he’s out…
    And so are the fish.

  3. Dead Fish Smell - Jun 15, 2010 at 10:00 AM

    Can’t wait for those first images of the first dead fish floating around in that tank to hit the interwebs.

  4. Joey B - Jun 15, 2010 at 10:01 AM

    “The question is: Who gave animals rights?”
    I’m definitely right-of-center, but firmly believe that animals have rights. Why wouldn’t they? I think the whole issue is a waste of time. If you want an aquarium, build one where everyone can see it, in a cafeteria, restaurant, etc. But I seriously doubt the fish are going to be terrorized by humans any more than they will be by other fish in the ocean waiting for a tasty meal. As others have mentioned, PETA is trivializing their own cause by making this an issue.
    Having said that, animals have the right to be left alone to whatever extent we can afford it.

  5. Riff - Jun 15, 2010 at 10:06 AM

    Hey, this might be a good idea…I mean, this would be one place the oil can’t get…

  6. Old Gator - Jun 15, 2010 at 10:11 AM

    I agree! My right to abuse fish is among the most important rights that we as Americans enjoy, and Americans cannot but be grateful to you for reminding us. In all fairness, though, it’s not quite as important as our right to abuse cormorants and pelicans, shrimp, crabs, lobsters, fisherman and vacationing swimmers, even if it is more important than the right of PETA to stake out a moral position of its own, even if it’s one that a cliche sound bite-spouting idiot like yourself finds preposterous. On the other hand, even that is certainly not as important as my right to continue to abuse Scrooge McLoria and his pet Chihuahua, David Samson, the Feesh Feelosifir, who has taken time off from his real job of commenting on old movies on a local sports radio station and propounded his Buddha-like concern and solicitude for the denizens of his tanks. Shantih, shanti, yip yip!

  7. Mike - Jun 15, 2010 at 10:19 AM

    PETA, like many organizations, has its extremists, centrists, and populists. Whomever wrote above that what they do is analogous to “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” is absolutely correct. Fish in a tank is nothing – actual animal abuse is something.
    Admitedly, I know nothing about fish anatomy, their natural environment, predators, or prey, so like most of you, anything I would say would be conjecture or hearsay. So I’d rather ask a couple of questions:
    – Do fish get irritated when placed in a tank near a television?
    – Near a loud stereo?
    – How about in a house with cats or other animals? (Cats surely aren’t native to a fish environment)
    I like meat and wouldn’t begrudge anyone who doesn’t, I like animals, I would never, like everyone here, tolerate abuse. PETA has a decent aim and mission, but they have lost their way and their failure to publicly denounce and admonish the extremists within their own organization only re-enforces the general populations belief that PETA is not only a joke, but a burgeoning terrorist group with celebrity endorsement.

  8. B - Jun 15, 2010 at 10:21 AM

    Wow Shely you need to chill a bit. Are you affraid the Marlins are going to take over the Earth if we treat them well? The terrible planet of the Marlins? I said they had a reasonable argument and you explode on everyone who has a remark to make about it?
    I don’t think they should be wasting their time bugging The Marlins if they want some stupid fish in their stadium. In fact I even remarked the irony of it all by pointing out an actual “animal” disaster that they should be focusing on instead of worrying about something so stupid, and you still think that’s dumb? You’re an idiot.

  9. YX - Jun 15, 2010 at 10:23 AM

    All PETA should get thrown into Amazonia butt naked, and see how much animals appreciate their right.

  10. Shely - Jun 15, 2010 at 10:29 AM

    I hope you feel better now. Your argument from the heart is good, but not logical. You still wish to make statements which may or may not be the case. Don’t argue with your politically correct feelings. Stick with facts. You have a moral imperative to do what? Who said you have that? I think you have taken it on yourself just as the people of PETA have. It is not your right to see that I do anything YOU feel good about. You can go on and on about how you feel, but it is not a logical argument. Sorry, you loose. By the way, I know who gave mankind rights. Obviously you don’t. You probably think the government gives us rights. So, you loose twice. Isuggest you go back to a good school, and take a course in LOGIC, and not how to feel good about yourself. Then comment again.

  11. Jonny5 - Jun 15, 2010 at 10:33 AM

    Actually, I’m surprised that Anyone would take the sides of Peta in this case since PETA denies the existence of “Fish” They only support the ethical treatment of “seakittens”. They also want an end to all hunting of these “sea kittens”. Well see it for yourself… Seakittens? Well since they put it that way…..

  12. Jonny5 - Jun 15, 2010 at 10:42 AM

    “Like their surface-dwelling cousins, the land kittens, sea kittens enjoy being petted. Their lack of arms makes it difficult for them to pet back, but they often gently rub against each other as a sign of affection.” They aren’t crazy at Peta or anything… Nooooo….

  13. Shely - Jun 15, 2010 at 10:44 AM

    Oh Hope, and you are such a good person too. We all have to take your advice. We are all so mean and cruel because we do not bomb buildings and throw acids and dyes on people with whom we don’t agree, just lik PETA does. Maybe I will attend the next meeting and learn how to terrorize people with who I don’t agree.

  14. Shely - Jun 15, 2010 at 10:53 AM

    Hey stupid. Listen to the argument and don’t make up stuff I didn’t say. No one said the tank will change anything. It is about the owners right to display them. And, it is about “rights” the truly stupid fish may or may not have. Go back to school and get it right before you make any more comments.

  15. EatP - Jun 15, 2010 at 10:54 AM

    Ok PETA lovers….why are you guys all racists?
    Why do you want to save the elite animals and aquatic life in our world while intentionally mutilating asparagus, lettuce, beans, cucumbers, and the likes…first you allow the appendages of many of these plants to be severed or violently ripped away from their god given place in society, force them to leave home, then you hold them hostsage in extremely cold and hostile environments, force them onto trains, containers, and trucks…put them on public display…allow them to be sold to the highest bidder…or to rot away and die…and then…worst of all…you inhale them…chewing them up into tiny pieces…and forcing them into an acid filled vat.
    And then you have the audacity to stand up and say someone else is doing something wrong??? Dispicable and cowardly racists you are!

  16. Ace - Jun 15, 2010 at 10:58 AM

    Ok, jeez, I’m a little loose. We liberals, you know . . . But my promiscuity is totally beside the point.
    If you know who gave mankind rights, please don’t hold out on us!

  17. Jimmy Marlins Fan - Jun 15, 2010 at 11:39 AM

    im a marlins fan living in massachusetts(ie. im a liberal) but i find PETA marginilizes their purpose when going public with stuff like this
    i love the idea of the aquariums and cant wait for the stadium to open
    and gator…making a reference to your hate of loria? no, i thought you two were best buds…sheesh…give it a rest

  18. Tired - Jun 15, 2010 at 12:45 PM

    I have a t-shirt with that very slogan on it.

  19. Old Gator - Jun 15, 2010 at 1:07 PM

    Give it a rest? Clearly, you don’t appreciate how relaxing it is to dump on the Princeling of Impecuniousness. It’s effortless, really. And he makes it easy with his penny-ante approach to building us this second-division team of lowballed contracts and wishful thinking, punctuated with occasional spasms of self-indulgence, like these fish tanks, that really do nothing for the team.
    Case in point: let’s just assume for a moment that Dr. No had a handle on his own expenses and when he told James Bond that his aquarium cost one million dollars (1962 dollars, that is). Now, Scrooge McLoria and the Chihuahua want to build two of them.
    According to the Consumer Pricing Index, a 1962 dollar would currently be worth slightly more than $7.09; ergo, using this most conservative of available indexing formulas, that means that each tank Scrooge and his puppy want to build will cost roughly $7,100,000. That’s fourteen million dollars and change for a pair of hyperpineal fishtanks when he wouldn’t cough up even a fraction of that much to equip his lame boolpen with a competent journeyman middle reliever or two and spent much of the winter trying to lowball Josh Johnson until the Player’s Union stomped on him a bit.
    So why not stop wasting your reproaches on me and pray for (a) some functional middle relief and (b) for Cameron Maybin to find his groove, unless you want the Feesh to spend the rest of the season scuffling with the Gnats for last place.

  20. Jimmy Marlins Fan - Jun 15, 2010 at 1:21 PM

    A. ill stop my reproaches on you when you stop crucifying loria for everything that is wrong with the world
    B. everyone needs functional middle relief help, and no amount of money is going to magically make badenhop and the crew into world beaters
    C. i dont think this season rides on cameron maybin finding his groove…but we will be alot better when coughlan and hanley are going strong at the same time…and sprinkle in cantu, stanton and ross and we have a good offense
    D. i think the fish tanks will be cool…and for once it was nice to read an article about the fish that had nothing to do with the frugalness of the owner or the ocean of empty of seats…until i got to gator’s comment that is

  21. Old Gator - Jun 15, 2010 at 2:22 PM

    You could keep the hyperbole to a minimum where I’m concerned, though. If you can find an instance of my crucifying Scrooge for “everything that’s wrong with the world,” please by all means let me know when and where it was. I’ve been pretty focused on crucifying McLoria for what’s wrong with the Feesh, and criticizing George W. Bush and his little bund of thugs and clones for what’s wrong with everything else.
    Your point about money not being a magical cure-all for poor performances is well taken, and I’ve taken it before. But it isn’t Badenhop and crew as is that it’s meant to improve. The idea is – and I think it’s kinda sententious of you to pretend that I mean otherwise – to go out and get some proven talent and pay them what they’re worth, rather than to disqualify guys who could help us because they bust such a puckered budget.
    The fish tank story, given how much they will cost versus how little Scrooge wants to spend on his team itself, always was a story about the frugalness of the owner – or, more accurately, about the hypocrisy of his frugalness. You simply chose not to discern the implications of “frugality” (a charitable description at that) of an owner who wouldn’t spend a million on a proven middle reliever last year and came up about five games short of a playoff berth largely because of the repeated failures of his bullpen, but is willing to blow many times that much on a fish tank. That aversive reading is a function of your refusal to understand how much damage Scrooge’s greed and self-indulgence has done to this team.

  22. Jimmy Marlins Fan - Jun 15, 2010 at 3:27 PM

    my point is, not everything wrong with the fish, is loria’s frugalness…bullpens around the league are struggling to find quality middle relief, it is what is and if i were kid wanting to play pro baseball…id learn to pitch on short rest or learn how to catch…there is just a tremendous lack of talent overall for those positions…it is what it is and it isnt loria’s fault
    as far as the fish tanks go…its not like other ball parks dont have gimmicks just the same, the rays have a ray tank, the sox have the monster seats, the astros have a train, the mets have an apple, etc, etc, etc…baseball stadiums will always have gimmicks in the name of getting each and every last cent out of your pocket…again…it is what is and thats the way baseball is today
    and id really like to know which middle reliever you talking about which cost us 5 games? the only one that ive missed in recent memory in arthur rhodes…kiko seems like he is all but done…joe nelson fell off the face of the earth after joining the sox and etc…lindstrom would be nice to have back…but the way he can blow up all of sudden was rather frightening for a guy with his stuff
    and as ive said before to you specifically…would you rather have huizenga or henry back? because i wouldnt…and if you would…i suggest you root a for team that spends accordingly with your own mantra…as for me, im a marlins fan and when they dont win, i blame the players, not the owner…after all…how many lifetime AB’s does loria have?

  23. josh23 - Jun 15, 2010 at 4:01 PM

    So peta wants robot fish. Has anyone asked them about their opinion on umpires?

  24. josh23 - Jun 15, 2010 at 4:13 PM

    Problem i see here is that most of you are assuming these fish will be worse off than if we let swim around in the gulf. I promise swimming in gulf right now is something thats off my list for the foreseeable future. I havent seen the type of tank or glass thats being use but it can be soundproofed and made one way. Honestly i think thats how its going to be done, it seems the sensible and responsible thing to do but i dont know if it will be or not. What i am sure of is that they will be highly visible and as such i tend to think they will have excellent care, but again i dont know. I got myself in trouble her being both serious to a point and trying to have a bit of fun at the same time, im sorry folks i didnt mean to upset anyone.

  25. Simon Oliver Lockwood - Jun 15, 2010 at 4:24 PM

    The important question is, will the fish have frickin’ lasers? Or will they just be mutant sea bass?

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