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- Professor Longnose - Jul 1, 2010 at 4:17 PM
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Upton, Zambrano, and Kemp
Three hotheads whose heads keep on upping the temp-
Erature. Each is surely a very fine fellow
Who only need lessons in how to be mellow,
A class in controlling their wrath
Or maybe a pine-scented, cool bubble bath
To wash away anger, or maybe they need
A mug of hot chocolate, a pipe full of weed
Or even a pipe full of hemp.
Poor Upton, Zambrano, and Kemp.
*****
Upton and Kemp and Zambrano
Three horrible losers, who squirt out their guano
All over their teammates, and also the fans
It’s time to hand each of these three lifetime bans
At least from TV; I despise
Having to watch as they loaf after flies
Or give up home runs. Or should they face their doom
Together inside a great white padded room
Where they can fight mano a mano (a mano?)?
Damn Upton and Kemp and Zambrano.
*****
Kemp and Zambrano and Upton
I just love to watch ‘em when they start eruptin’
It makes every game like the 4th of July:
A fireworks show as they blow up sky high.
You surely can’t say that it’s dull
To watch as a hothead goes out of his skull
It’s better than watching the Dodgers or Rays
Or Cubs, with the baseball they’re playing these days.
So get off their cases, and don’t be disruptin’
Wild Kemp and Zambrano and Upton.
