Jul 2, 2010, 2:12 PM EDT
The hapless Pittsburgh Pirates have sunk so low in the standings that
The Amazing Kreskin is offering his services to bail them out — for an
The mentalist, best known for his spots on late-night TV shows and a
good run of picking winners of Super Bowls, Academy Awards and
elections, thinks the Buccos not only will make this their 18th
consecutive losing season, but will continue to stay below .500 for
another two years.
And with trenchant insight like that you can see why this guy makes a living on his predictions. What should the Buccos do, Mr. Amazing?
If retained, Kreskin promises to exile Pirates general manager Neal
Huntington and manager John Russell until their recently revealed
contract extensions expire in 2011, deals he believes sent the wrong
message of “failure and lack of team success” to a squad showcasing the
worst hitting and the second-worst pitching stats in Major League
Baseball . . . Kreskin believes that once the undynamic duo departs, he could use
the power of suggestion to fix the players’ collective funk.
Sounds good to me. Notably, though, he doesn’t suggest that they be fired. He just thinks they should be sent out of the country somewhere until their contracts are up. He suggests Tibet and Uruguay.
On one level that’s crazy. Of course as of last night the Diamondbacks will be paying Josh Byrnes big money for the next five years to do nothing, so is it really all that crazy?
- Alex Rodriguez hits 659th career home run, now one shy of tying Willie Mays 13
- Pitchers batting is dumb and the DH should be universal 217
- Max Scherzer doubtful for next start due to thumb injury 3
- Protesters converge on Oriole Park at Camden Yards 140
- It sure sounds like Adam Wainwright suffered a torn Achilles tendon on Saturday night 40
- Settling the Score: Saturday’s results 33
- Report: Rangers will pay Josh Hamilton less than $7 million; deal includes opt-out after two years 98
- Suspensions announced for Thursday’s brawl between the White Sox and Royals 78
- Pitchers batting is dumb and the DH should be universal (238)
- The early leaders in MLB’s “Franchise Four” thing have been announced (166)
- The Royals and White Sox had a benches-clearing fracas, five players ejected (155)
- Protesters converge on Oriole Park at Camden Yards (141)
- Kelvin Herrera gets a five-game suspension; Yordano Ventura fined (133)