Jul 2, 2010, 2:12 PM EDT
The hapless Pittsburgh Pirates have sunk so low in the standings that
The Amazing Kreskin is offering his services to bail them out — for an
The mentalist, best known for his spots on late-night TV shows and a
good run of picking winners of Super Bowls, Academy Awards and
elections, thinks the Buccos not only will make this their 18th
consecutive losing season, but will continue to stay below .500 for
another two years.
And with trenchant insight like that you can see why this guy makes a living on his predictions. What should the Buccos do, Mr. Amazing?
If retained, Kreskin promises to exile Pirates general manager Neal
Huntington and manager John Russell until their recently revealed
contract extensions expire in 2011, deals he believes sent the wrong
message of “failure and lack of team success” to a squad showcasing the
worst hitting and the second-worst pitching stats in Major League
Baseball . . . Kreskin believes that once the undynamic duo departs, he could use
the power of suggestion to fix the players’ collective funk.
Sounds good to me. Notably, though, he doesn’t suggest that they be fired. He just thinks they should be sent out of the country somewhere until their contracts are up. He suggests Tibet and Uruguay.
On one level that’s crazy. Of course as of last night the Diamondbacks will be paying Josh Byrnes big money for the next five years to do nothing, so is it really all that crazy?
- Sandy Alderson is not going to “roll over” for Scott Boras and shut down Matt Harvey 59
- Dodgers are already fed up with 6.56 ERA-pitching, excuse-making Mat Latos 47
- And That Happened: Thursday’s scores and highlights 57
- Bryce Harper walks in all four of his plate appearances, scores four runs 24
- ESPN pulls Curt Schilling off broadcasts for rest of regular season and Wild Card game 146
- David Ortiz is more likely to be boned in Hall of Fame voting for being a DH than for PED stuff 145
- And That Happened: Wednesday’s scores and highlights 74
- The Marlins are going to change everything except their biggest problem this offseason 53
- ESPN pulls Curt Schilling off broadcasts for rest of regular season and Wild Card game (146)
- David Ortiz is more likely to be boned in Hall of Fame voting for being a DH than for PED stuff (145)
- Matt Williams puts up another strong performance in his quest to get himself fired (107)
- David Ortiz tweets his happiness about the Deflategate decision (101)
- Why Mike Mussina keeps getting hosed in the Hall of Fame voting (90)