Jul 2, 2010, 2:12 PM EST
The hapless Pittsburgh Pirates have sunk so low in the standings that
The Amazing Kreskin is offering his services to bail them out — for an
The mentalist, best known for his spots on late-night TV shows and a
good run of picking winners of Super Bowls, Academy Awards and
elections, thinks the Buccos not only will make this their 18th
consecutive losing season, but will continue to stay below .500 for
another two years.
And with trenchant insight like that you can see why this guy makes a living on his predictions. What should the Buccos do, Mr. Amazing?
If retained, Kreskin promises to exile Pirates general manager Neal
Huntington and manager John Russell until their recently revealed
contract extensions expire in 2011, deals he believes sent the wrong
message of “failure and lack of team success” to a squad showcasing the
worst hitting and the second-worst pitching stats in Major League
Baseball . . . Kreskin believes that once the undynamic duo departs, he could use
the power of suggestion to fix the players’ collective funk.
Sounds good to me. Notably, though, he doesn’t suggest that they be fired. He just thinks they should be sent out of the country somewhere until their contracts are up. He suggests Tibet and Uruguay.
On one level that’s crazy. Of course as of last night the Diamondbacks will be paying Josh Byrnes big money for the next five years to do nothing, so is it really all that crazy?
- So, apparently we’re sweating the Matt Kemp physical now 33
- The United States will seek to normalize relations with Cuba 86
- Marlins complete Michael Morse deal: two years, $16 million 18
- Padres, Rays, Mariners discussing trade involving Wil Myers 36
- It is perfectly clear that A-Rod is the Yankees’ DH. At best. So there will be no drama, right? 37
- Dodgers cut Brian Wilson and his $9.5 million salary 53
- Royals and Alex Rios agree to one-year, $11 million contract 16
- Chase Headley signs a four-year deal with the Yankees worth at least $52 million. 95
- Baseball’s highest-ranking Hispanic woman employee sues for discrimination (163)
- Cubs, Red Sox, Dodgers, Padres, Rangers, and Astros interested in Phillies’ Cole Hamels (110)
- Done Deal: Yoenis Cespedes and two players traded to Detroit for Rick Porcello and a minor leaguer (105)
- Jon Lester goes to Cubs for $155 million over six years (99)
- The United States will seek to normalize relations with Cuba (97)