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Everything went wrong Saturday for the D'Backs

Jul 4, 2010, 10:06 AM EDT

It has not been a fun few days in Arizona. 

On Thursday night the last-place club cleaned house, firing both manager A.J. Hinch and general manager Josh Byrnes.  Then, in an effort to pump new blood and excitement into the franchise, bench coach and 1988 World Series legend Kirk Gibson was named the Diamondbacks’ next manager.

Fast forward to Saturday night.  The Diamondbacks committed a franchise-high six errors in a 14-1 loss to the division rival Dodgers and fell further out of contention in the National League West.  Now 32-49, the underachieving D’Backs are 16 games out of first place.

It gets a tad worse.  In the second inning Saturday, as clearly seen by this MLB.com video, Dodgers outfielder Xavier Paul drew a walk on only three balls against Arizona starter Rodrigo Lopez.  Three balls.  Not four.  Three.  That mistake triggered a six-run inning and the Gibson-led team was unable to overcome.  When it rains, it pours.

  1. Old Gator - Jul 4, 2010 at 10:29 AM

    Good to know Gibson has someone charting the opposing team’s pitches over there. Like the US Government under Clinton and Bush, the Diamondbacks have placed their trust in technology and neglected to staff adequately their intelligence operations with competent humans. There’s a really hot Russian agent in New Jersey who is currently out of work and would happily take the job. Hey, at this rate the clueless Crotalids are going to need some sort of attraction to get fans into the fridge, and “Shoe Polish Night” just ain’t gonna do it.
    .
    This is the Only Place I Can Think of Department: I am commissioning this thread as the unofficial stand-in for “And That Happened” this morning. While everyone else was sleeping off their hangovers, the Feesh went out carrying toothpicks to the batter’s box, managed to score one measley unearned run without the benefit of a hit (whatever neurological pathology the Feesh infielders share that makes them such a bunch of Keystone Kops afield seems to be, at the very least, infectious and the Bravos seem to have come down with it this week). They are now a season-low six games from the strange attractor and ten point five out in the division, sinking faster than a mammoth covered with dire wolves in the LaBrea tar pits. Unlike those wolves, which were otherwise quite intelligent creatures, Scrooge McLoria and the Chihuahua still don’t seem to understand how badly they screwed up and why. I predict that by the time we get to July 30 we will have witnessed the biggest selloff since Charley Finley, Black Tuesday and Thursday combined.

  2. Old Gator - Jul 4, 2010 at 10:31 AM

    Good to know Gibson has someone charting the opposing team’s pitches over there. Like the US Government under Clinton and Bush, the Diamondbacks have placed their trust in technology and neglected to staff adequately their intelligence operations with competent humans. There’s a really hot Russian agent in New Jersey who is currently out of work and would happily take the job. Hey, at this rate the clueless Crotalids are going to need some sort of attraction to get fans into the fridge, and “Shoe Polish Night” just ain’t gonna do it.
    .
    This is the Only Place I Can Think of Department: I am commissioning this thread as the unofficial stand-in for “And That Happened” this morning. While everyone else was sleeping off their hangovers, the Feesh went out carrying toothpicks to the batter’s box, managed to score one measley unearned run without the benefit of a hit (whatever neurological pathology the Feesh infielders share that makes them such a bunch of Keystone Kops afield seems to be, at the very least, infectious and the Bravos seem to have come down with it this week). They are now a season-low six games from the strange attractor and ten point five out in the division, sinking faster than a mammoth covered with dire wolves in the LaBrea tar pits. Unlike those wolves, which were otherwise quite intelligent creatures, Scrooge McLoria and the Chihuahua still don’t seem to understand how badly they screwed up and why. I predict that by the time we get to July 30 we will have witnessed the biggest selloff since Charley Finley, Black Tuesday and Thursday combined.
    .
    YankeesFanLen, APBA Guy: what were they puttin’ down on the coasts last night?

  3. Old Gator - Jul 4, 2010 at 10:34 AM

    PS – sorry about the double posts, the second one of which was a hron. It wasn’t my fault, though; it was the wretched O/S in my mental dialysis unit. Although I see Vidalia is back on trial for murder and war crimes along with 22 of his fellow Junta thugs down in Buenos Aires, that still leaves Bush, Cheney, Ratko Mladic and the guy who headed the Windows Vista development team awaiting justice.

  4. funi - Jul 4, 2010 at 10:51 AM

    Just because Gibson was an outstanding player and world series hero, does not mean he can coach!

  5. YankeesfanLen - Jul 4, 2010 at 11:13 AM

    Yankees 11 Toronto 3 The Universe, still stung by their third inning stand and drool tactics of the evening before, as well as the superb performance of the Fat “I’ll get two outs, I’ll be damned if I’ll get three” Toad, designate the third as a “right to hit” inning. Fifteen batters come and go and the Jays seem determined to extend the productivity of the three outs every four runs or so.Subsequently, work done for the day, everyone goes to take a turn polishing George’s 7 WS trophies on the 200 level

  6. Buccofan - Jul 4, 2010 at 11:15 AM

    True, but (a) it doesn’t mean he can’t, either, (b) it worked out so well the last time (with Hinch), and (c) I’ll let YOU be the one to tell him face-to-face if he’s ever fired. In the latter case, make sure your life insurance premiums are all paid up.

  7. Xpensive Wino - Jul 4, 2010 at 12:01 PM

    Explain to me again why there isn’t a “replay ump” in the press box monitoring the game as it’s being played. It would have taken all of one second to verify the ball-strike count. It wouldn’t take six hours like those opposed to replay are dumb enough to believe. Isn’t the point to get it right? While watching a game, anyone at home can see if a call is right or wrong in a matter of seconds. You’re telling me a “professional umpire” in front of a monitor couldn’t do it? Not to mention, umpiring is at an all-time low right now and they can use all the help they can get.

  8. Old Gator - Jul 4, 2010 at 12:51 PM

    This is one of those very rare complex questions to which the answer is simplicity itself: because the commissioner of baseball is a drooling imbecile.

  9. peteinfla - Jul 4, 2010 at 1:30 PM

    MLB has a commissioner? I thought that position was abolished after Bowie Kuhn. Oh wait, you mean “Bud former owner appointed for life no conflict of interest never saw an issue I couldn’t ignore let me appoint a special comission to study it Selig”. Sorry, I thought his title was Imperial Wizard or something, not commissioner. My mistake.

  10. Buccofan - Jul 4, 2010 at 2:11 PM

    Arizona did one thing right today. They DFA’d Dontrelle Willis. I loved the guy when he came up, but he’s a total wreck now.

  11. Old Gator - Jul 4, 2010 at 3:46 PM

    Breaks my heart, it really honestly does. I guess maybe you have to be a Feesh fan of some moderately long term standing to remember what a remarkable pitcher Dontrelle was those first few years, and what a good person and brutally honest-about-himself guy he remains to this day. He’s never been an Oliver Perez, never been a prima donna. Some day someone – please, not a Jungian, we want science here – ought to do a study on why good ballplayers suddenly lose it, assuming injuries, drugs and alcohol are not the problem.

  12. Ron Thompson - Jul 4, 2010 at 4:22 PM

    You know, that “Feesh” usage may have been clever the first time (though I doubt it), but now it’s just incredibly lame.

  13. Old Gator - Jul 4, 2010 at 6:37 PM

    Really? And how many times have you been called “Ron” since they put it on your birth certeeficate??

  14. Ron Thompson - Jul 4, 2010 at 8:25 PM

    Well, they called me Ronnie until I was nine. But by then I had learned not to repeat the same lame “joke” over and over and over and over, and that using more than one question mark or exclamation point only makes one look like a twelve-year-old girl.

  15. Old Gator - Jul 4, 2010 at 9:12 PM

    Ever hear of a “typo”? Was it perhaps being called “Ronnie” for all those years that engendered your foul disposition? Or was your sense of humor a crib death?

  16. Old Gator - Jul 4, 2010 at 9:25 PM

    Pardon me. Creeb death? The Feesh actually won tonight, and I’m so delighted that the boolpen held a lead for a change – and that the cornish hens came off the greel in such perfect fettle – that I’m afraid I’m having all kinds of difficulties taking your bilious animadversions very seriously. Why not just chuck it and go enjoy the fireworks?

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