Jul 15, 2010, 5:12 PM EDT
I miss steroids. I also
miss amphetamines. Greenies. Speed. Uppers. Because you know what I really miss? I miss
upper-deck home runs. I miss lower-deck home runs. Look, at this
point I would settle for a two-hopper to the wall. Give me some
hits. Some runs. Let’s take baseball back a few years, to a time
when no-hitters were special and when All-Star Games didn’t knock
me out like two Ambiens and a sap to the skull.
— Gregg Doyel of CBS Sports.com, lamenting the lack of offense this season.
Of course almost exactly one year ago Doyel was writing about how steroids have “chipped away at the sports’ soul” over the course of one of the more ridiculously faux-outraged column I’ve seen since I started blogging about baseball. Seriously: read last year’s piece and then read today’s and tell me that the guy has ever had a coherent thought in his life.
Not that coherence is one of Doyel’s primary aims. His m.o. is to write ridiculous columns in an attempt to create some crazy, on-the-edge bad boy persona. Sometimes that requires thinking steroids are the worst thing ever. Sometimes it requires pretending they don’t matter a bit. It’s all about being edgy with him.
Personally, I prefer to read someone who actually has a serious point once in a while.
- Title or no title, Dave Dombrowski’s tenure in Detroit was a success 0
- Dave Dombrowski out as Tigers General Manager, team president; Al Avila takes over 40
- Blue Jays’ Aaron Sanchez, John Gibbons disciplined in the wake of Sunday’s plunkings 49
- Believe the hype: Carlos Correa is already a superstar 29
- Gregg Zaun to Yordano Ventura: “stop writing checks with your mouth that your skinny ass can’t cash” 91
- And That Happened: Monday’s scores and highlights 55
- Adrian Beltre needs just five innings for the third cycle of his career 16
- Mets blow out Marlins, move past Nationals for first place in NL East 26
- The benches cleared in Friday’s Giants-Rangers game (208)
- Blue Jays acquire David Price from the Tigers (113)
- Rangers land ace left-hander Cole Hamels from Phillies (106)
- Royals make another big move, get Ben Zobrist from A’s (95)
- Gregg Zaun to Yordano Ventura: “stop writing checks with your mouth that your skinny ass can’t cash” (93)