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Quote of the Day: Bring back steroids!

Jul 15, 2010, 5:12 PM EDT

Meet the columnist who thinks steroids are horrible one year and just dandy the next.

I miss steroids. I also
miss amphetamines. Greenies. Speed. Uppers. Because you know what I really miss? I miss
upper-deck home runs. I miss lower-deck home runs. Look, at this
point I would settle for a two-hopper to the wall. Give me some
hits. Some runs. Let’s take baseball back a few years, to a time
when no-hitters were special and when All-Star Games didn’t knock
me out like two Ambiens and a sap to the skull.

Gregg Doyel of CBS, lamenting the lack of offense this season.

Of course almost exactly one year ago Doyel was writing about how steroids have “chipped away at the sports’ soul” over the course of one of the more ridiculously faux-outraged column I’ve seen since I started blogging about baseball. Seriously: read last year’s piece and then read today’s and tell me that the guy has ever had a coherent thought in his life.

Not that coherence is one of Doyel’s primary aims. His m.o. is to write ridiculous columns in an attempt to create some crazy, on-the-edge bad boy persona.  Sometimes that requires thinking steroids are the worst thing ever. Sometimes it requires pretending they don’t matter a bit.  It’s all about being edgy with him.

Personally, I prefer to read someone who actually has a serious point once in a while.

  1. Mr. Heyward - Jul 15, 2010 at 5:50 PM

    Don’t worry Doyel (can I call him Doilie?), the money and the players create the demand for PEDs and science will be demanded to come up with something new to plague sports. Then new tests will be demanded to stop the new drugs. These things are cyclical. Get it? Cyclical? Cycling? Anyone? Bueller?

  2. scatterbrian - Jul 15, 2010 at 6:19 PM

    Can he get anymore “bad boy” than that tough-guy mugshot? $20 says he’s also wearing an Affliction t-shirt.

  3. willmose - Jul 15, 2010 at 7:52 PM

    Reduce the humidifier by 5 percent, HRs will go up 25 to 50 percent.

  4. TC - Jul 15, 2010 at 8:46 PM

    Craig, if you’re looking for the pro-steroids perspective, I’ve got ALL YOU CAN HANDLE.

  5. RickyB - Jul 15, 2010 at 10:50 PM

    I’ll go ahead and defend Doyel. Yes, he does over the top more often than not. But he also does have serious columns and can even be, dare I say, genuine. He is in danger of becoming a caricature of himself, however, not unlike Chris Berman. Having met him and worked with him, I know a lot of the bluster is an act. But he gets paid to be just that.

  6. Secretary Cleary - Jul 16, 2010 at 2:48 AM

    Even if he’s trying to get a rise out of people, he makes some good points. Home runs created a different atmosphere around the game, and on TV, where most people experience baseball. Baseball’s owners probably miss the buzz created from the highlight shows created by Home Runs.

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