Jul 15, 2010, 5:12 PM EDT
I miss steroids. I also
miss amphetamines. Greenies. Speed. Uppers. Because you know what I really miss? I miss
upper-deck home runs. I miss lower-deck home runs. Look, at this
point I would settle for a two-hopper to the wall. Give me some
hits. Some runs. Let’s take baseball back a few years, to a time
when no-hitters were special and when All-Star Games didn’t knock
me out like two Ambiens and a sap to the skull.
— Gregg Doyel of CBS Sports.com, lamenting the lack of offense this season.
Of course almost exactly one year ago Doyel was writing about how steroids have “chipped away at the sports’ soul” over the course of one of the more ridiculously faux-outraged column I’ve seen since I started blogging about baseball. Seriously: read last year’s piece and then read today’s and tell me that the guy has ever had a coherent thought in his life.
Not that coherence is one of Doyel’s primary aims. His m.o. is to write ridiculous columns in an attempt to create some crazy, on-the-edge bad boy persona. Sometimes that requires thinking steroids are the worst thing ever. Sometimes it requires pretending they don’t matter a bit. It’s all about being edgy with him.
Personally, I prefer to read someone who actually has a serious point once in a while.
- ESPN pulls Curt Schilling off broadcasts for rest of regular season and Wild Card game 32
- David Ortiz is more likely to be boned in Hall of Fame voting for being a DH than for PED stuff 123
- And That Happened: Wednesday’s scores and highlights 73
- The Marlins are going to change everything except their biggest problem this offseason 53
- Drooling over Miguel Sano’s incredible numbers through 50 career games 35
- Matt Williams puts up another strong performance in his quest to get himself fired 105
- Settling the Scores: Tuesday’s results 81
- Yankees reveal Mark Teixeira’s shin injury is “more than we thought” 16
- Sarah Palin sticks up for Curt Schilling, tells ESPN to “stick to sports” (266)
- David Ortiz is more likely to be boned in Hall of Fame voting for being a DH than for PED stuff (123)
- Matt Williams puts up another strong performance in his quest to get himself fired (105)
- Why Mike Mussina keeps getting hosed in the Hall of Fame voting (89)
- And That Happened: Thursday’s scores and highlights (87)