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The Yankees want to buy into the Premier League? Sure. . .

Jul 20, 2010, 11:29 AM EDT

There are many, many reasons to discount reports that the Yankees are interested in investing in the English Premier League. The man pictured to the left is the biggest among them.

This has been floating around for a couple of days, but the British tabloid the Daily Star reported on Sunday that the Yankees were considering buying Tottenham Hotspur of the English Premier League.  A couple of things about this report:

  • It comes in a newspaper which features topless models;
  • Despite having the topless models thing going for it — which I view as a positive, by the way — British tabloids are notorious for selling scare stories about foreigners ruining proper British institutions like soccer leagues and city streets and stuff. The only thing the Yankees-Spurs story needs in order to make it a perfect British tabloid cliche is scary south-Asian immigrants and/or young, sideways ballcap-wearing, bat-toting chavs intent on ruining tea time or village greens or whatever it is scared and reactionary British people fear modern society is ruining for them;
  • The primary quotes here come from Hank Steinbrenner, who is essentially the Fredo of the Steinbrenner family. Really, he may as well be going on about how you shouldn’t talk to Moe Greene and about how he’s “smaht” and was told that there was something in it for him, because if the Yankees are going to make a $600 million+ investment in anything, you can bet that Hank ain’t in on the discussion;
  • The story says that Hank played college soccer. Everyone was young once, but I can’t square the image of Hank Steinbrenner as photographed above with a college soccer player; and
  • The Yankees are smart. The history of American sports executives investing in English soccer is littered with dumb people making dumb decisions.  I can’t really picture Hal Steinbrenner plunking half the value of the Yankees into that kind of an investment.

But hey, at least we got an excuse to use the Hank smoking picture again, and that’s always fun.

  1. The Ol Goaler - Jul 20, 2010 at 11:50 AM

    Why would anybody “invest” in the money sink that is the EPL? Aren’t ALL those teams (even the best ones) losing money?

  2. YankeesfanLen - Jul 20, 2010 at 11:57 AM

    If Hank can’t get Hal to agree he may have to resort to the old ultra-violence. Or maybe he can’t get his gun out quick enough to fire.
    So much for today’s episode of “Mixed Movie Metaphors”.

  3. APBA Guy - Jul 20, 2010 at 12:12 PM

    And why Tottenham, except to tweak Bill Beane’s nose, which seems pointless after the Yankees swept the A’s the last time they were in town. Tottenham made the Champion’s League last season, which goosed it’s value, but not too many people other than a few wayward North Londoners think they are a good bet to repeat that feat. One good kick to Dafoe’s shins and they are back to mid-table and could be had for $ 300M.
    But Craig, there are four American owners currently in the Premier League: Hicks at Liverpool, Glazer at ManU, Randy Lerner at Aston Villa (not the Nationals Lerner) and Stan Kroenke at Arsenal, along with several others in the lower leagues. I’m sure it’s fun, but it also takes serious money these days, and with the oil sheiks getting involved at Man City, the bar has definitely been raised.
    Finally, for those of us addicted to Sky Sports News, a few days watching teaches that British sports writers just make things up. None of the rules of attribution, sourcing, or confirmation apply. It’s total fiction, 99% of the time. Gerrard and Torres going to Man City for 150M pounds? Sure, why not?

  4. jabberwock - Jul 20, 2010 at 3:29 PM

    @Ol Goaler: Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t ALL owners of ALL professional sports franchises, a) claiming poverty, and b) fighting their way into line to buy the next available franchise available, even if it’s NHL in Hawaii?

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