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And That Happened: Monday's Scores and Highlights

Aug 3, 2010, 5:46 AM EDT

Chipper goes yard, Hellickson gets a tiny sip of a half cup of coffee and the Brewers make hash out of the Cubs.

Braves 4, Mets 1: Johan Santana struck out 11 Braves, but they nickled
and dimed him for three runs in the first and then Chipper Jones knocked
one out off him in the seventh. Chipper’s career may be on death’s
door, but he could wake up in 2027 and hit a home run off the Mets. It’s
just what he does. And you bet your bippy I have this one first with a pic of Jones hitting the bomb because it will drive Mets fans nuts.

Rays 4, Twins 2: Jeremy Hellickson gets called up, makes his major
league debut, allows two runs on three hits over seven innings while
beating one of the hottest teams in baseball and then is promptly sent
right back down to Durham. I bet he’ll be on a bus this afternoon,
telling the other Durham Bulls about how you never handle your luggage
in the
show, somebody else carries your bags. About how you hit white
balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the
hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and

Indians 6, Red Sox 5: I’m not linking to video of Carlos Santana’s knee injury, nor do I even want to think about it. I watched the play once — won’t watch it again — and I couldn’t tell based on my one viewing of it if Santana was out of position or messed up in the way he took that throw. All I can think is about how, as I watched him hit multiple times in Columbus this year and once in Cleveland, that the guy was born to have a bat in his hands but never looked quite right behind the plate. I hope he makes it back and proves me wrong next year.

Blue Jays 8, Yankees 6: An ineffective A.J. Burnett watched the Jays make like the Gashouse Gorillas and do a conga line around the bases in the fifth inning and Alex Rodriguez went 0 for 5, but I’m sure this was somehow Joba Chamberlain’s fault. Six doubles for the Jays in that 5th inning, by the way, two of which came off the bat of Travis Snider.

Reds 4, Pirates 0: Travis Wood toyed with the Buccos, shutting them out on two hits over seven innings. Miguel Cairo continues to play decidedly un-Miguel Cairolike baseball, getting two RBI and keeping his average at a cool .300 on the season.

Brewers 18, Cubs 1: I accidentally closed out of the page with the box score so I can’t be 100% certain, but I’m pretty sure this one ended with the mercy rule being applied in the fourth inning and Lou Piniella talking his players out for ice cream afterwards, telling them that the point of the game is to simply try your best.

Astros 9, Cardinals 4: I didn’t watch any of this game, but based only on the box score I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Tony La Russa overthought the matchups with his bullpen and once again pulled his best reliever out of the game in order to go with an inferior one that God Almighty himself wouldn’t put into the game in that situation. If that’s what happened, I’ll take it one step further and guess that La Russa did not accept any responsibility over this afterward and instead said something like “God Almighty doesn’t have access to my super secret pitching charts and assorted genius goodies.”  Welcome to St. Louis, Jake Westbrook (6 IP, 4 H, 2 ER, 7K).

Athletics 6, Royals 0: If you polled 100 casual baseball fans I wonder how many of them would be able to tell you the first thing about Trevor Cahill. Whether it’s because he’s on the west coast or because he’s an Athletic I’m not sure, but I’m guessing the number is small. A shame too, because the kid is something else. He three-hit the Royals last night, moving to 11-4 on the season and lowering his ERA to 2.72.

Padres 10, Dodgers 5: Chase Headley had four hits including a three-run bomb and Will Venable homered and drove in four. The Dodgers matched the Padres in the hit department with 14, but hit into double plays, stranded runners and generally played like a team that looked like it’s nine games out of first place. Which it is.

Nationals 3, Diamondbacks 1: I’m trying to think of anything more annoying for an opposing fanbase than to have the local nine get totally flummoxed by Livan Hernandez but I can’t think of a thing. He just throws his slop up there and — when the slop is working — you just can’t do anything with it despite it looking like you should be able to totally crush the guy. It was working last night (7.1 IP, 5 H, 1 ER, 5K).

  1. Paper Lions - Aug 3, 2010 at 7:11 AM

    Not only did LaRussa do as you suggest. He also pulled arguably his best OF (Rasmus) in order to defensively weaken two OF spots simultaneously by moving Jay to center and putting Winn in RF. Winn immediately misplayed a relatively easy out into a “double” that plated the tying run.
    Who would have thought that the concept of playing your best players as much as possible to maximize the likelihood of winning was so challenging to a “HOF” manager. LaRussa has lost a number of games for the Cardinals this year by making unnecessary moves on the mound and in the field.

  2. RickyB - Aug 3, 2010 at 8:17 AM

    Let’s see, Trevor Cahill … was going to attend Dartmouth but signed with the A’s instead out of high school. And Jason Heyward’s parents went to Dartmouth — would have been nice to have those two on the roster the past few years …

  3. Proudly Canadian - Aug 3, 2010 at 8:20 AM

    Good old AJ Burnett did not surprise Jays fans at all. Many times we have seen him go from being unhittable early in a game only to completely lose his concentration in the 4th or 5th inning. The Yanees deserve him. The fat toad actually pitched well when he came into the game, but by that time, the Jays had a nice lead.

  4. Ditto65 - Aug 3, 2010 at 8:47 AM

    Crash Davis & Bugs Bunny in the same post? One word: Awesome!

  5. Levi Stahl - Aug 3, 2010 at 9:15 AM

    I was at the Cubs game last night and, though I almost never leave early, I bailed after five innings, when it was 10-1. I knew it wasn’t going to get better, but I sure didn’t think it was going to get that much worse. Al Yellon of Bleed Cubbie Blue points out that in the entire history of MLB, only 155 games have been decided by 17 or more runs.

  6. BigPhil - Aug 3, 2010 at 9:38 AM

    Anybody got a list of most “injured” teams this year? Injuries to their projected starting lineup and to Opening Day 25-man roster?

  7. Simon DelMonte - Aug 3, 2010 at 9:43 AM

    Seeing Chipper homer off the Mets doesn’t really make me nuts. It’s what he does. I won’t be sad to not see him homer off the Mets in the future, but you have to hand it to him. He does the job.
    No, what makes me nuts is that the Mets didn’t do THEIR jobs.

  8. Jonny5 - Aug 3, 2010 at 10:00 AM

    Well, it’s time for the Phillies to turn it on strong. 3 games back? Childs play.

  9. basiltherat - Aug 3, 2010 at 10:31 AM

    “… the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains.”
    Great reference, of course, but in St. Petersburg? He probably has it better at Durham.

  10. MuskyHunter2542 - Aug 3, 2010 at 11:24 AM

    Great Game for the sCrUBS!!!

  11. schlegrun - Aug 3, 2010 at 11:39 AM

    Craig, please say you watched the Braves/Mets game on ESPN? If so, how deeply saddened were you when they cut to A-Rod in the 8th for his AB and came back? Why you ask, well you missed Frenchy single for the Mets!!!

  12. Old Gator - Aug 3, 2010 at 12:32 PM

    The Feesh demonstrated again last night why they are a serious threat to overtake both the Bravos and the Feelies. Three sparkling plays from Hanley: his diving stop to his left, no less, of a hard grounder in the third and throwing out the runner at first while still standing on his head, buried to the eyebrows in the rain-soaked turf. Then, Dan Uggla leaping seven feet into the air to snag a vicious liner that had “triple” written all over it. And of course, Ronny Paulino’s unassisted triple play on a vertical quail at home plate to end the game with the bases loaded and no one out in the seventh. But the situational hitting was the real key here: Mike Stanton bunting for a ground rule double in the second inning to break a scoreless tie when Freddi Rodriguez called a hit-and-run with Chris Coghlan pinch-running with the surgical pins still in his left knee. And how about that boolpen? Eight scoreless innings from Renyel Pinto, Buck Bordenhurk, Rick Vandenhop and whatsisname. And then, with the game on the line in the bottom of the sixth, Anibal Sanchez steps to the plate and…hey! It’s a home run! It’s a f*ckin’ home run!
    Whew. I needed a Buckler’s after that one.

  13. APBA Guy - Aug 3, 2010 at 1:37 PM

    In the immortal words of Chuck Thoimpson, after an Orioles win in the heyday of the O’s “Ain’t the Buckler’s Cold”. Or something like that.
    Nice observation about the white Rabbit, Craig. Maybe you and Tiffany could do a piece about him. As I pointed out yesterday, the entire A’s staff has taken a step forward this year, especially him. Given their injury problems in Oakland I think they probably need two more MLB level pitchers in addition to the 5 they have. But here’s an interesting dilemma: Can the A’s win in 2011 assuming more growth from their staff, but roughly the same offensive output? I don’t think so. Another suggestion for your HBT spot: was Billy Beane’s reputation built on the success of teams assembled by Sandy Alderson?

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