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Jose Canseco got evicted and he's tweeting about it

Aug 13, 2010, 2:33 PM EDT

Jose Canseco has taken a break from getting beat up by much smaller guys in “celebrity” boxing matches long enough to post a bunch of tweets about how he got evicted from his apartment today.

Here’s a sampling (I’ve left in the various spelling and grammar issues, in part because it’s Twitter and in part because it’s amusing):

It is true I got evicted everything has gone incredibly wrong since I wrote the book juiced. I am now the modern day frankenstein. Mlb has gone out of there way to distroy my life and they have succeded.I didn’t realize how powerful they are till now. I have lost everything.

Makes you wanna cry but there’s no crying in baseball.and my dad said men don’t cry but he was wrong. To make matters worse the landlords locked me out and I can’t get my things out. Someone should do a show called form the penthouse to the garage.

I wonder how many employees MLB had working on the “get Jose Canseco evicted from his apartment” project? And do they all receive bonuses now that the incredibly difficult undertaking has been completed successfully?

Also, I’d totally watch a television show called “Form the Penthouse to the Garage.” I imagine it would involve some type of welding?

  1. Largebill - Aug 13, 2010 at 2:42 PM

    “Also, I’d totally watch a television show called “Form the Penthouse to the Garage.” I imagine it would involve some type of welding?”
    Aaron,
    I believe it is spelled wedding not welding. :-)

  2. Chris Fiorentino - Aug 13, 2010 at 2:43 PM

    What a complete dolt. Canseco did write the book that changed baseball’s view of Steroids. And if he wasn’t such an a-hole, he could be a serious player. Instead, he is a self-righteous prick and nobody likes him on EITHER side of the debate.

  3. JBerardi - Aug 13, 2010 at 2:48 PM

    Remember folks, this is the only guy you can trust when it comes to steroids…

  4. Bender12 - Aug 13, 2010 at 3:09 PM

    Canseco destroyed his own life. Not the boogeyman man. The fact that he is already pointing fingers at everyone else for why he is evicted is a bad sign for whats to come.
    The mans problem is that he couldn’t give up trying to be relevant. The man would burn any bridge in his life for a dollar.

  5. Old Gator - Aug 13, 2010 at 3:16 PM

    About a year or so before the publication of Juiced, Canseco was kvetching that MLB was trying to ruin him because no team wanted to take on a hulking, strikeout-happy, career asshole with a bat speed you could measure with an egg timer. Years back, here in Macondo, he used to hang out at a favorite local blues and jazz bar of mine called Satchmo in Coral Gables, often with very young girlfriends who looked like they had climbed out of their cribs and shimmied down the drainpipe to meet up with him. On the other hand, he seemed like a perfectly pleasant, soft-spoken child mol…er, guy, who was never loud or boastful, happily signed autographs and was never anything but pleasant to folks who approached him, and could talk with disarming candidness and no trace of bitterness about the current baseball season and players.
    .
    Then, he was arrested for trying to run his ex-wife off the Palmetto Expressway and moved to Los Angeles, whereupon Juiced came out.
    .
    People are infinitely complex.

  6. Md23Rewls - Aug 13, 2010 at 3:22 PM

    “everything has gone incredibly wrong since I wrote the book juiced.” Bahahaha.

  7. jimbo1949 - Aug 13, 2010 at 3:34 PM

    It’s from the penthouse to the outhouse. Dope can’t even get that right

  8. El Bravo - Aug 13, 2010 at 3:42 PM

    I bet he will now move into a windowless white van. I think we all know what those are used for in this day and age.

  9. Materialman - Aug 13, 2010 at 3:43 PM

    So another broke sports star and made millions and blew it all…….What an idiot.

  10. joshpico - Aug 13, 2010 at 4:13 PM

    Cry me a river. Cansucko can eat my shorts man.

  11. motivatortom - Aug 13, 2010 at 4:48 PM

    The man in the mirror had nothing to do with his current predicament … riiighhht. It was all MLB’s fault. Riiiighhhht.

  12. scottt - Aug 13, 2010 at 4:51 PM

    aaron, your take on the story is almost as pathetic as the story itself – couldn’t you find a higher form of humor than to play on a misspelling? stick to reporting the facts and get out of the comedy business dude.

  13. cdt3 - Aug 13, 2010 at 4:54 PM

    No it wasn’t a boogeyman, it was a real man. A man named George W Bush. Before coming to Texas ARod was a 35 HR guy like Hank Aaron. But when he got to Texas, Bush brought in a veteran to make him better. That veteran was Jose Canseco. Canseco a known roider at the time, taught ARod to roid, and ARod turned into a 50+ HR hitting monster. Because Canseco knew too about Bush, he was blackballed from baseball.
    Hang around 1 owner whose Dad owns the US Military Industrial Complex, Sean Hannity, Glen Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Fox and you get blackballed. Who would have thought?

  14. Detroit Michael - Aug 13, 2010 at 5:08 PM

    Career MLB earnings of $45,580,000. Probably half of it went to income taxes and agents, but that’s still a lot of money leftover. It doesn’t include what he makes wrestling, writing books, selling autographs, or whatever else he’s done that is economically productive in his life.
    I don’t begrudge him the money (I’d rather it go into players’ pockets than remain in owners’ pockets, I guess), but I don’t feel sorry for him if he ran out of money either.

  15. Omega - Aug 13, 2010 at 5:57 PM

    Now that the one Corey is dead, does the other Corey need a sidekick to carry on the reality show he had? Corey and Canseco? Hell, I would tune in to watch that, and I hate reality TV!
    Or he could move in with the Cardasians (sp?) another alliterative TV show title?
    I am sure there are dozens of shows he could be added too, even the non alliterative ones, whatever happened to that sadsack Willie Ames? The could sit around the studio apartment they are forced to share and grouse about how the wordl screwed them both over!
    Come on Canseco, your plight is just a gold mine waiting to be tapped! Get an agent and go for it!

  16. Largebill - Aug 13, 2010 at 6:54 PM

    cdt3,
    I hope you are not nutty enough to believe that nonsense. Here is a timeline to help you understand a little bit of reality.
    April 1989 – George Bush becomes part owner and managing general partner of Rangers. That is not the same thing as a GM (General Manager) . The team had a GM to sign players and make trades.
    31 August 1992 Canseco traded by Oakland to Texas
    November 1993 George Bush replaced as managing partner
    8 July 1994 A-Rod makes his MLB debut for Seattle
    9 December 1994 Canseco traded by Texas to Boston
    17 January 1995 George Bush sworn in as Texas governor
    1998 George Bush sold all his shares of the Rangers team
    21 January 2001 George Bush sworn in as President
    26 January 2001 A-Rod signed with the Rangers
    At that point Canseco was a free agent and he started that season with the independent Newark Bears.
    Based on all that, I kind of doubt Bush got Canseco to teach A-Rod to use ‘roids.
    My guess is most of the other stuff bouncing around in your head helping you form your opinion is equally grounded in factual basis.

  17. myob - Aug 13, 2010 at 7:23 PM

    I thought the adage was “From the Penthouse to the Shithouse”.

  18. adam - Aug 13, 2010 at 8:15 PM

    Also, are you talking about the same Alex Rodriguez that hit 42, 42 and 41 home runs in his age 22 – 24 years in Seattle? And in the last two years only played in 129 and 148 games?

    Who knew that playing in 162, 162 and 161 games in a launching pad while also going through your age 25 – 27 seasons would see you hit more home runs. Just amazing how that works.

    But you’re right, the guy was barely showing ANY power potential before going to the Rangers.

  19. Ziro - Aug 13, 2010 at 9:49 PM

    last place id though is leave my slug trail is a sports rant page but.. here i am. you ppl who have nothing good to say.. are just like the ball he was trying so hard to slam out of the arena. i used to collect baseball cards back in the 80s when i was a kid.. and used to have the whole set of Canseco rookie donruss wtf ever brands.. tho will sadly say all a treasure in the garbage pail id hate to admit. this is how i feel bout this guy.. he was amazing.. he was even Superman for a while.. flying high.. but yuh karma catches up to u when u bat the wrong females. this clearly is the superhero syndrome.. like that quote in Spiderman.. ‘despite all you have done for them, they will find a way to hate you’ all you one-sided paisley faced fans whod find a chance to boo at anyone.. id like you to walk right up to Jose and tell him hes struck-out in life.. without having a warm sensation in your diapers.
    nobody will truly know his true story.. but himself.. we dun even know which persona is thumbing in these words with those manly hands.. but to hear of the beast crying tears of regret.. i hope his father comes down from where ever he is and gives his son a pat on the back.
    i think his conclusion was.. Sports is just a giant drug.. and you are just fueling the menace.. like a batty machine.
    legends will live long.
    Ziro Japan
    Disarm you with a smile
    And cut you like you want me to
    Cut that little child
    Inside of me and such a part of you
    Ooh, the years burn
    I used to be a little boy
    So old in my shoes
    And what i choose is my choice
    What’s a boy supposed to do?
    The killer in me is the killer in you
    My love
    I send this smile over to you
    Disarm you with a smile
    And leave you like they left me here
    To wither in denial
    The bitterness of one who’s left alone
    Ooh, the years burn
    Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn
    BC hope you have recovered from your fall
    More lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/s/smashing+pumpkins/#share

  20. ChefDRboy - Aug 16, 2010 at 4:07 AM

    Jose Canseco was always to good for everyone ………I Looked up to the bash brothers as a state champion pitcher in my little league ……when I was like 9-10 I asked him to autograph a card for me and he tried to charge me to do it …..as a kid I really hated him…….that night after the game he got a ticket doing over 100 miles an hour in his porsche…….I am so glad he did that ……cuz I dont feel so dumb I still have all his rookie era cards …….when I look at his life now …..he was a sell out to me now …..and I am glad I never looked up to him another day …..My moms friend was a photographer and it was a blessing coming from a bad neighborhood in RICHMOND california to be able to go to a few games …..But canseco you REALLY are not a good hearted person just a real failure ….thanks for making me look so much better …..hahahahahahaaa…..May God help you once you turn to him

  21. dakotaeverhart@aol.com - Sep 26, 2010 at 1:58 PM

    Jose Conseco should go into Gay Porn…..
    Not only is it one of the last venues that would completely support him, but he could make a lot of money!!!!!!

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