Aug 16, 2010, 8:25 AM EST
I took Friday off, which has me completely discombobulated, baseball wise. I’m going on vacation next week and will be unplugging for the entire trip. If I can expect my discombobulation to be seven times what I’m feeling right now, I’m pretty sure my chances of surviving with my sanity intact are zero. So welcome to the last productive week of HardballTalk!
As for the weekend:
- Jonathan Broxton lost his closer’s job because he has lost his confidence. This is the saddest thing I’ve witnessed since that evil doctor stole Fonzie’s cool in that late-run “Happy Days” episode. Of course by that point they had introduced Roger and Eugene, made the Fonz a teacher and Jenny Piccolo was a real character instead of someone Joanie just talked about, so the cool was long gone to begin with. Much like the Dodgers’ playoff chances.
- Andy Pettitte suffered a setback during a simulated game. No one is sure if the setback itself is real, however. Simulated games are like the “Inception” of the baseball world in that way.
- The Rangers’ new owners lower beer prices, among other fan-friendly things. Doing such a thing is such a no-brainer in terms of the creation of fan goodwill that it’s amazing more teams don’t do stuff like this. I mean really, if anyone is qualified to make no-brainer moves, it’s baseball owners.
- I’m pretty sure the Orioles’ all-orange jerseys are going to cost them one or two positions in today’s Power Rankings all by themselves.
- Luis Castillo wants off the Mets. Everyone else wants him gone too. You’d think there would be a way to make this work.
- Mike Stanton’s emergence is making us all forget about the old middle reliever with the same name. Really, I haven’t seen anyone take ownership of a name like this since middle infielder Mike Tyson started to fade from our collective memory.
- When does Jose Canseco’s big league pension kick in? Because, really, it’s getting sad to see him go from job to job like this. Of course, Canseco serving as bench coach is fairly useful in that it conclusively proves what I’ve long suspected: bench coaches don’t actually do anything.
- Oh Ricky you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind hey Ricky! Hey Ricky!
- Chipper Jones had successful surgery. I am not making this up: part of the ligament graft came from a cadaver. Which means that the Mets’ worst fears will be coming true next season: Zombie Chipper.
- I’d like Jeff Brantley’s opinion on Jacoby Ellsbury’s ribs.
- K-Rod apologizes. I haven’t read the apology yet, but I assume it has something to do with his pummeling fists being taken out of context.
- It’s cute that Joe Torre thinks he’s still in New York and thus the whole world is waiting to hear what his career plans are.
- Bud Norris strikes out 14 Pirates. That translates to six real hitters!
- Carlos Zambrano wins his first start since his return from crazyland. This was really the only game I saw over the weekend. My daughter watched part of it with me. After listening to some of the game she said “what are ‘his issues?'”
- A-Rod hits three bombs against the Royals. If I ran a New York tabloid I’d be real tempted to have one of my columnists write a thing about how Rodriguez is too lazy to run and thus insists on slow jogs.
- Rich Harden goes on the disabled list. This is not a repeat from 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 or from June 12th or August 1st of this season.
- Willy Taveras signs yet another minor league deal. I figure his whole career at this point is based on leading the league in steals once. I haven’t seen anyone live off one performance like this since Cuba Gooding, Jr.
- Rob Dibble kinda sorta not really apologizes for making fun of some women fans he assumed to be talking about shopping while in the stands at a Nats game. He did not apologize, however, for failing to grasp the irony of his calling people out for talking bullsh– during a baseball game.
And with that, let us proceed with our week, shall we?
- Jayson Werth to serve five days in jail for reckless driving 40
- Keith Law’s top 100 prospects list is out 35
- Great Moments in Media Arrogance: Marshawn Lynch edition 166
- Nationals sign former Blue Jays closer Casey Janssen 11
- Ichiro Suzuki’s deal with the Marlins is worth $2 million 34
- Orioles acquire outfielder Travis Snider from Pirates 37
- Not so fast on the Bud Selig Hall of Fame talk 50
- Blue Jays sign president and CEO Paul Beeston to extension through 2015 26
- Great Moments in Media Arrogance: Marshawn Lynch edition (166)
- Rob Manfred, new Major League Baseball commissioner, suggests ban on defensive shifts (118)
- Why “Deflategate” would never happen in baseball (96)
- The Yankees are going to try to get out of paying A-Rod his contract incentives (83)
- The 2015 Braves have “gravitas” and “veteran leadership” and will have dirty uniforms. Just kill me now. (76)