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Your Monday Afternoon Power Rankings

Aug 16, 2010, 1:00 PM EDT

The Yankees are the Boyz II Men of the Power Rankings. That's a good thing! At least I think it is.

As always, last week’s rankings are in parenthesis and this week’s ranking are kind of pulled out of my butt:

1. Yankees (1): I’ve lost track, but we’ve got to be approaching Boyz II Men “End of the Road” territory for consecutive weeks at number one for the Bombers. After that they only have Boyz II Men “I’ll Make Love to You” and, um, Boyz II Men/Mariah Carey “One Sweet Day” territory ahead of them. Man, what the hell was up with Boyz II Men?

2. Rays (2): The Rangers come in for a little ALDS preview. Actually, I think if this were the ALDS they’d be playing in Texas, but that’s quibbling. Easily the most interesting series of the week.

3. Padres (4): I think what strikes me most about what the Padres are doing is that it’s not like there are a bunch of guys here performing above their pay grade.Yorvit Torrealba, maybe, but it’s not like several players are playing substantially above their heads.

4. Rangers (3): Losing Nelson Cruz to his third hamstring injury of the year is not good news, but at least they have a cushion.

5. Braves (5): I’ll tell you this: if the Braves do get overtaken by Philly, I’m not going to bitch about injuries. For one thing, Philly had more injuries to more significant players than the Braves have. For another thing, bitching about injuries is one of my least favorite whines in all of sports. NFL coaches are the worst for this (“Not makin’ excuses, but boy, if it wasn’t for all these injuries . . .”), but baseball has gotten pretty bad about it. No, the fact is that I said back in March that this is an Atlanta team that — while promising — needed everything to break right. Until recently things did break right. If they go south now that just speaks to the fact that they had way less margin for error than other contenders, and that’s just how things go sometimes, ya know?

6. Twins (8): My comrade D.J. Short tweets that the Twins are first in all of baseball in batting average, on base percentage, OPS and runs since the All-Star break, all without Justin Morneau in the lineup. They took two of three from the Chisox last week and now get ‘em at home Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. There’s still a ton of time, but the Twinkies could go a long way towards sewing up the division this week.

7. Phillies (6): The other side of the Braves-Phillies coin: it’s really hard for me to get worked up at the Phillies being the team most likely to overtake the Braves. I’ve spent all season trying to drum up a hatred for them, and I just can’t. The most aggravated I get is when the Dodgers or someone blow a lead against them like they did last Thursday or the ump blows a call like in that Marlins game the week before and that’s hardly the Phillies’ fault. And I like Charlie Manuel a lot. And one of my favorite team-specific blogs is The Fightins. Almost makes me wish the Mets were better this year so the division can have a proper villain.  

8. Cardinals (10): Quite a letdown losing two of three to the Cubs and losing the division lead after the emotional sweep of the Reds. But like Earl Weaver said: This isn’t football; we do this every day. As such, emotion doesn’t have a hell of a lot of place in this sport. It certainly can’t sustain you.

9. Reds (9): Not that the sweep meant nothing. I can’t in good conscience put the Reds ahead of the Cards after they got smacked down by them last week.

10. Red Sox (11): I bet Jacoby Ellsbury could really go for some spare ribs right now. Get it? SPARE ribs? Anyone? Hello? Is this thing on?

11. Giants (12): If the Giants season starts to go down the drain right now, some of the people in this room will point to the acquisition of Jose Guillen as the reason why, simply because of the timing. That would be wrong, of course, because there are many things that contribute to losing. That being said, I would be fine with such a misapprehension holding, because the world needs to be warned against things like acquiring Jose Guillen for the stretch run. 

12. White Sox (7): I was on MLB Network Radio last night, and host Mike Ferrin did a little “Empire Strikes Back” baseball associations quiz. One of the questions was which team’s bullpen is the most Lando Calrissan-like, meaning they can’t be trusted. I went with the Phillies on inertia, but I really should have gone with the White Sox. Back to back blown saves by J.J. Putz following a few notable Bobby Jenks meltdowns. I’m just trying to figure out who Lobot is.

13. Blue Jays (13): One of my favorite blog posts of the last week comes from Dustin Parkes over at Drunk Jays Fans comparing Jose Bautista to that girl you met on the rebound while beer goggling. Such analogies can be useful to understand sports. Such analogies can also go on a tad too long for comfort.

14. Rockies (15): In that same vein, Andrew Martin from Purple Row explains how the Rockies 2010 season is kind of like having to move on a Wednesday instead of a Sunday. It may not be as colorful an analogy as the Jays one, but at least it doesn’t inspire me to think of Jose Bautista sitting in a pickup bar.

15. Angels (19): A big jump this week. Bigger than they really deserve, actually, due to some demotions and the fact that I didn’t want to think too hard about them to be honest. Why? Because they have the Red Sox, Twins and Rays in their immediate future and I’m just gonna have to adjust them dramatically one way or another after that, I imagine.

16. Dodgers (16): They probably should have been docked several spots simply for that metldown against the Phillies on Thursday.

17. Mets (17): The Mets are making one of their patented second half runs!

18. Athletics (14): Losing two of three to the Mariners is worse than dropping all three to the Twins.

19. Marlins (18): Their next ten come against the Pirates, Astros and Mets. If they’re not at least 6-4 on this stretch people should just stop going to their games.

20. Tigers (20): I know the Tigers are saying that yesterday’s dustup between Armando Galarraga and Alex Avila is much ado about nothing, the fact that Gerald Laird came out of it looking like the most reasonable one of the bunch means something. I’m not sure what it means, but based on his recent history, it’s something significant.

21. Astros (23): Correlation != causation!

22. Nationals (22): I love that Stephen Strasburg is the guy talking about how Bryce Harper needs to sign his deal. If Strasburg had clicked the ballpoint pen he used to sign his contract last year a couple of extra times he would have blown past deadline himself.

23. Cubs (26): If you had taken a Cubs fan forward in time from last spring and plopped him down this past weekend and allowed him to watch Chicago take two of three from the Cardinals on the back of a strong Carlos Zambrano start and a handful of Derrek Lee homers he likely would not have guessed that the team was sitting 17 games out of first place.

24. Diamondbacks (28): Can I tell you how happy I am t
hat I told you this morning that I’d dock them a place in the rankings because of the orange uniforms. That was a lie. I docked them two places after looking at the pics again. Not all throwbacks are created equal, my friends.T

30. Pirates (29): Pat Lackey of the Where Have You Gone Andy Van Slyke blog: “Does anyone doubt the Pirates are the worst team in the league anymore?
They reel off six-game losing streaks as easily as most people eat
breakfast.”  And Pat is not one of your bigger gloom-and-doomers as far as bloggers for bad teams go. Oy.

  1. Jeff J. Snider - Aug 16, 2010 at 1:49 PM

    Craig, you know that old saying from college, “If you never had a crazy roommate, you WERE the crazy roommate?” I think that also applies when a Braves fan can’t figure out who the NL East villain is. I’m just sayin’…

  2. Old Gator - Aug 16, 2010 at 2:11 PM

    I suspect that there are legions of Feesh fans – foreign legions, no doubt, because no one here can understand what they’re complaining about except the rest of them – who will take your advice, Craig. Their hearts will be heavy, but they’ll take it. Okay, let’s all pull for the Feesh to be found after this stretch against the Major League Baseball Doormats Association clinging to the strange attractor for the 20th time.

  3. aleskel - Aug 16, 2010 at 2:19 PM

    Quibble time: “causation” isn’t a word – it’s “causality.”
    Unless you were making all funny like, in which case, carry on.

  4. Utley's hair - Aug 16, 2010 at 2:23 PM

    No matter how embarrassingly bad they are, the Mutts will forever be the villains of the NL East, with the Braves pulling in second–though the margin of difference fluctuates with their respective performances.

    But you have the Phightins drop and keep the Bravos static? It makes me question what exactly you did on your day unplugged, Craig.

    By the way, it seems the Feesh fans(?) have preemptively been following your attendance advice for years.

  5. Old Gator - Aug 16, 2010 at 2:57 PM

    I believe that was the very quintessence of the astringent irony of Craig’s comment, Ut. You may need to reset your antennae an extra inch or two apart to pick it up more clearly next time. I use an entire Very Large Array.

  6. BCTF - Aug 16, 2010 at 4:16 PM

    Causation is in fact a word

  7. The Rabbit - Aug 16, 2010 at 4:28 PM

    It appears the legions of fans may be more of a minyan.
    http://www.theonion.com/articles/florida-marlins-delay-game-until-their-fan-shows-u,17891/

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