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Great Moments in self-motivation: Matt Garza

Sep 3, 2010, 11:04 AM EDT

Baseball is better than football because, for the most part, players approach it like a job, not as if it were war or cockfighting or whatever. They try to do their best. They try to get better. With a few exceptions, however, they don’t generally get all rah-rah and imgonnakillyou about it.  One of those exceptions seems to be Matt Garza, who is psyching himself up to face the Orioles tonight:

“I owe them a lot of payback for the type of outing I had last time
against them. They had back-to-back-to-back. So I’m going to
make them feel really uncomfortable in the box. So they know, this
(stuff) doesn’t happen, so don’t get used to it.

“I’m going to go
in there, hair on fire, like I have been and go after them and say,
‘Hey, you got me the first time, well I’m going to shove it down your
throat this time.'”

Sorry, but describing yourself as having “hair on fire” is like giving yourself a nickname: just lame.

And though I wouldn’t otherwise care a hill of beans about who wins a Rays-Orioles game, I’m going to root for the Orioles to put up a ten-spot on Garza tonight in the interests of promoting calm, professional equanimity over the forces of macho.

  1. Dan in Katonah - Sep 3, 2010 at 11:21 AM

    I think he referred to himself in the 3rd person as “The Garzinator”. Check your sources again.
    “The Garzinator is going out with his hair on fire!”
    “The Garzinator is going to roast himself some birds tonight!”
    “That’s just how the Garzinator rolls down in the 8-1-3!”

  2. APBA Guy - Sep 3, 2010 at 11:37 AM

    Funny. Lots of guys in the MLB every year. And each motivates himself in his own way. As long as he didn’t say “I’m goin’ all Nyjer Morgan on their bird butts” I think we’re ok.

  3. RichardInBigD - Sep 3, 2010 at 11:42 AM

    I don;t know. I kinda like the “hair on fire” thing. Reminds me of the guy who had the greatest differential between pitching ability to brain power, John Rocker.

  4. John_Michael - Sep 3, 2010 at 12:02 PM

    If the Garzinator beans someone, I hope the Orioles rub Old Bay into his eyes when they charge the mound.

  5. RichardInBigD - Sep 3, 2010 at 12:04 PM

    Old Bay in the eyes will seem like nothing, compared to the smoldering scalp…

  6. Ditto65 - Sep 3, 2010 at 12:40 PM

    This criticism coming from a blogger who spent the better part of the week telling us about his professional wrestling fetish. Crossed signals here, Craig.

  7. Craig Calcaterra - Sep 3, 2010 at 12:46 PM

    My professional wrestling fetish applied to the ages 9-15. I haven’t watched it since. The references this week are nostalgia-based, but even at the time I found it silly and cartoonish, even if I loved it.
    I’m older now and baseball is a more serious undertaking. It should at least attempt to surpass the maturity of professional wrestling.

  8. Ditto65 - Sep 3, 2010 at 12:55 PM

    Understood. Keep in mind I am easily confused.

  9. Bull Durham - Sep 3, 2010 at 12:59 PM

    Oh it does, it does. In professional wrestling, those immature knuckleheads fight, like, all the time. In baseball, such shenanigans only occur when someone truly incites it by, you know, stealing bases or some other outrage.

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