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Johan Santana's surgery "a success"

Sep 14, 2010, 12:30 PM EDT

The Mets have announced that Johan Santana had his shoulder surgery this morning and that “it was a success.”  Which is good to hear.

But of course we hear that all the time. I don’t wish ill on any specific player, but just once, on general principles, I would like to hear a team announce that a player’s surgery was “a total disaster.”

“Oh god, it was awful,” a team spokesman said. “They got in there and it was like spaghetti. The doctor tried — dear sweet lord, did he try! — but the surgery went sideways from the first slice and got worse from there. A nurse cried. I saw her crying.  Thank god we got the guy to sign a waiver before he went under. Will someone get me a drink?”

  1. Kiwicricket - Sep 14, 2010 at 1:18 PM

    Johan looks nervous just reading that. Can’t beat the ol’ ‘gender change’ operation gag. The Mets have no sense of humour these days…

  2. Omega - Sep 14, 2010 at 1:33 PM

    Hey! at least one thing went right for the Mets this year, in a backhanded kind of way….

  3. Buccofan - Sep 14, 2010 at 2:52 PM

    “It wasn’t a total disaster, but the first two hours weren’t very productive. Then the surgeon was informed that the left shoulder was the one he was supposed to operate on.”

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