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Comment of the Day: "booger-eating basement dwellers"

Sep 15, 2010, 2:00 PM EDT

In which I resort to Citzen Kane references to defend you people from being called all manner of nasty things.

Not everyone is pleased with my view that CC Sabathia is not deserving of the Cy Young this year. Take this delicious rant from reader DiamondDuq:

So you think some stats geek who locks himself in his mother’s basement should pick the award winners?  When someone can apply an statistical adjustment that accurately depicts the difference between pitching with a 5-run lead vs. in a tie game then maybe I’ll be willing to listen to you freaks.  The fact of the matter is, which you wouldn’t know since you’ve probably never set foot on a baseball diamond past little league, high school at the latest, if at all, that the entire approach to pitching is different depending on the situation in the game . . .

. . . Predictably my argument will be disreguarded and ridiculed by the booger-eating basement dwellers but suffice it to say there’s more to the game than you allow yourselves to see because you haven’t fabricated a statistic for it yet and because of that you’re not fully capable of enjoying a beautiful game!

As Craig Allen Calcaterra, who has played and watched thousands upon thousands of baseball games – you see, I do have a rough idea of how the game works – I sympathize with DiamondDuq. Craig Allen Calcaterra is a booger-eating basement dweller, his blog should be run off the Internet and a committee should be formed to boycott him.  You may, if you can form such a committee, put me down for a contribution of one thousand dollars.

On the other hand, I am the writer of HardballTalk. As such, it is my duty – and I’ll let you in on a little secret, it is also my pleasure – to see to it that the decent, hard-working booger-eating basement dwellers of this world are not treated like idiots by a bunch of narrative-chasing baseball writers who disdain actual baseball excellence because it does not make for a good story. Because, God help them, they have no one to look after their interests!

I’ll let you in on another little secret, Mr. DiamondDuq.  I think I’m the man to do it.

  1. Old Gator - Sep 15, 2010 at 6:10 PM

    Dirty (if resplendant) old man that I’ve become, I kinda prefer Rose’s hips….

  2. F. Amos - Sep 15, 2010 at 7:55 PM

    My only complaint about that moron’s comment is the reference to never having played the game and thus you being unqualified to write about baseball.
    Somehow I bet he thinks Rush Limbaugh and Glen Beck are qualified to opine about politics, even though they’ve have never run for office.

  3. (Not That) Tom - Sep 15, 2010 at 8:03 PM

    Thinking makes brain hurt. Me nap now.

  4. Utley's hair - Sep 15, 2010 at 11:30 PM

    I question whether either of them have ever run for anything at all.

  5. Mr. Furious - Sep 16, 2010 at 6:33 AM

    My parents’ house doesn’t have a basement, just a crawlspace. However, they purchased their current house well after I moved out of my boyhood home, which did have a basement, so that might skew my UBR (Ultimate Basement Rating) numbers.

  6. DiamondDuq - Sep 16, 2010 at 1:38 PM

    First of all, I’d like to thank Craig for awarding me with the “Comment of the Day”. Secondly, I apologize to those of you who were offended by my childish name calling. However, based on some of the commentary here it may not have been all that off-base. Take Tom for example:
    “It seems Mr. DiamondDuq also hasn’t watched much baseball, or else he’d know that the Mariners are the worst offensive team in the A.L. How many 5 run leads has Felix had this season? Just looking at Joe Posnanski’s start-by-start comparison of him vs. C.C., he’s had 16 starts this year where he got a loss or a no decision in which he gave up 3ER or less. And even Mr. DiamondDuq should be able to understand those stats.”
    He clearly can’t grasp then basic point of my post. I fully understand how little run support Felix receives but also how that ultimately leads to better statistics for him. As the Mariners score fewer runs, Felix is forced to be at his best more often to have a chance to win. He can’t “put it in cruise control” or whatever sports announcer cliché you’d like to apply. As such, he’s less likely to, essentially, give away statistics. Think of Usain Bolt winning the 100M and breaking the world record at the 2008 Summer Olympics. Could he have posted a better time? Certainly, but why exert the additional effort when it wasn’t necessary, why not “cruise” to the finish line? Had someone been pushing him, or in baseball terms had it been a close game, he would have been forced to perform his absolute best, but he wasn’t. Try to keep up people. As much as the sabermetricians would like us to believe stats can tell the whole story, they can’t, they can only tell most of the story, that’s why the people who watch the most baseball are tasked with voting on who actually performed the best. Otherwise there’d be no need for voting, they’d just crunch some numbers and see who the computer spits out. I, personally, will cringe if that should ever happen, no matter how moronic some sportswriters can be!

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