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The Twins will trot out their hangover lineup shortly

Sep 22, 2010, 11:59 AM EDT

The Twins sprayed beer and stuff all over themselves early this morning, so it’s no surprise that the lineup today is a tad different from the one they used last night:

CF Denard Span
SS Alexi Casilla
DH Jason Kubel
3B Danny Valencia
1B Jose Morales
2B Matt Tolbert
LF Ben Revere
RF Jason Repko
C Drew Butera

That’s the look of a team playing a day game after a clinching the previous night.  I expect great, great things today.

And heck, maybe it could happen.  As I’ve said, like, three times this week, I’m reading a book about 1970s baseball. One of the anecdotes I came across in the early going was about one George Mitterwald, the Cubs backup catcher in 1974.  He partied hard one night, thinking he’d get the day game off the following afternoon.  Nope: he was in the lineup.  All he did was go out and hit three home runs and set the single game franchise record with 14 total bases.

So, Drew Butera? Do you have a little Mitterwald in you?

  1. SouthofHeaven - Sep 22, 2010 at 12:11 PM

    There can never be enough stories about hard-partying 70′s baseball players.

  2. John_Michael - Sep 22, 2010 at 12:16 PM

    If you look at the picture, it appears that the Twins are actually protesting against the commissioner.

  3. ThatGuy - Sep 22, 2010 at 12:18 PM

    Ha, backup catcher playing first base, a position he has never played at any level.(he was a utility infielder playing rookie ball in 2001 and 2002 atleast)

  4. The Common Man - Sep 22, 2010 at 12:29 PM

    C’mon, what’s Trevor Plouffe doing today? Put him in. And you can’t tell me that Jon Rauch hasn’t always wanted to play CF.

  5. Old Gator - Sep 22, 2010 at 12:30 PM

    Seems I once read someplace that Mickey Mantle showed up one morning so hung over that Casey (or maybe it was Ralph Houk) didn’t have the heart to put him in the lineup. At some point during the late innings, though, the game was tied and the Borg had no one else to pinch hit so they sent Mantle, sunken red eyes and all, to the plate. Of course, he hit a towering home run, to riotus fan applause. When he got back to the dugout he sat listening to the roar from the crowd, then turned to whomever was sitting next to him on the bench and muttered, “they have no idea how hard that was.”
    .
    I know I read that somewhere many moons ago. Any of our rabid historians out there care to provide a reference for us? I’d be durned thankful if’n ye would.

  6. Cheap Seat Chronicles - Sep 22, 2010 at 12:34 PM

    It’ll be fun to see how many of the guys are listed as being out with the ultimate euphemism for a hangover, “flu-like symptoms.”
    I am, however, significantly amused to see that Morales is slotted in at first and Span is still gonna go out there and try to play CF. This should be entertaining.

  7. MNPawn - Sep 22, 2010 at 12:47 PM

    Span ought to be real scary on the bases today. Typically he acts like he is hungover or drunk every time he gets on, never know, maybe he won’t get picked off today.

  8. Utley's hair - Sep 22, 2010 at 1:03 PM

    Hell, David Wells was blitzed when he uncorked his perfect game.

  9. Old Gator - Sep 22, 2010 at 1:08 PM

    And of course there’s the immortal Dock Ellis….
    .
    http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/doc-ellis-i-pitched-a-no-hitter-on-lsd-shoot-video/106a18d9f5c94d03a2c5106a18d9f5c94d03a2c5-188881895468?q=Doc%20Ellis&FORM=VIRE2

  10. Buccofan - Sep 22, 2010 at 1:12 PM

    I’m pretty sure Jim Bouton wrote about that one in “Ball Four”. Great story.

  11. Mrsteve - Sep 22, 2010 at 1:16 PM

    6 division titles since 2002 but no World Series. They need to hold off the celebration until they win the World Series. Then they deserve to party. Otherwise they are going to continue to be first round fuck ups.

  12. Utley's hair - Sep 22, 2010 at 1:21 PM

    Have you ever tried to spray champagne all over the place in subfreezing temps? You’d might as well just crack people over the head with the bottles.

  13. doctorfunke - Sep 22, 2010 at 1:24 PM

    Pretty sure Span gave up the sauce. Kinda hard to not get contact-drunk in that clubhouse, though.

  14. doctorfunke - Sep 22, 2010 at 1:26 PM

    Awwwww, sucks to lose the division to us again, huh Steve? BTW, that lineup up there could still beat the Sox.

  15. Utley's hair - Sep 22, 2010 at 1:45 PM

    Doooooooooooooooooooooooooood…whoa…

  16. SosasCork - Sep 22, 2010 at 2:30 PM

    Congrats to the Twins, they’re definitely set up to go deep into the playoffs this year!

  17. Mrsteve - Sep 22, 2010 at 2:47 PM

    I’m a Twins fan dipshit

  18. ThatGuy - Sep 22, 2010 at 3:12 PM

    The best part is, with this lineup the Twins are up 5-1… Cleveland is good.

  19. D-Luxxx - Sep 22, 2010 at 3:12 PM

    Love that one. Classic.

  20. D-Luxxx - Sep 22, 2010 at 3:15 PM

    Well, they’re up 5-1 in the 7th, and to the Common Man, Plouffe is now in the game as the DH. This lineup is so 3 years ago…

  21. doctorfunke - Sep 22, 2010 at 3:36 PM

    Why the name calling Steve?
    I just assumed you were a Sox fan with all the negativity. 2010 is a new year, and this is a different team, so let the past go. Or start following the Royals where they rarely even approach .500 ball.

  22. RickB - Sep 22, 2010 at 3:51 PM

    I tried making up a hangover lineup for the Phillies, and it was probably better than some of the lineups they ran out there earlier in the season:
    RF Domonic Brown
    CF Ben Francisco
    LF John Mayberry Jr.
    1B Mike Sweeney
    3B Greg Dobbs
    2B Wilson Valdez (he’s indispensible)
    C Paul Hoover
    SS Brian Bocock
    P Vance Worley (“Knock ‘em dead, kid!”)

  23. Utley's hair - Sep 22, 2010 at 4:17 PM

    Wow…Ben Francisco in center…

  24. Mrsteve - Sep 22, 2010 at 5:15 PM

    Worry about yourself & don’t tell me what to do drturdknocker

  25. Old Gator - Sep 22, 2010 at 5:16 PM

    I thought that was an affectionate “dipshit.”

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