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The Twins have a playoff anthem

Sep 23, 2010, 12:30 PM EDT

I don’t much trust young people — they frighten and confuse me — but those few to whom I’ve dared speak have mentioned that this “the Hold Steady” ensemble plays some catchy ditties.  As I have been unable to find their cassette at my local MusicLand store, I have been unable to verify such claims one way or another.

But I have now heard a song their lead singer wrote and performs — “Don’t Call Them Twinkies” — which is being touted as a Minnesota Twins playoff anthem. I guess it’s OK. It’s no “Who Stole the Keeshka,” which the Tigers employed like a secret weapon in 1968, but you can judge for yourself here. It’s all so much noise to me. Plus the lyric about Ron Gant is simply false.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to turn on the radio so that I might be able to record a song I’ve been trying to get for the mix tape I’m making for a certain young lady.  I’ve gotten really good at hitting “play/record” at the exact moment the disc jockey stops talking, so my mix tapes are pretty smooth.

  1. ThatGuy - Sep 23, 2010 at 12:42 PM

    Its an ok song, but I have personally always liked the Twinkies nickname.

  2. BC - Sep 23, 2010 at 12:46 PM

    Doesn’t hold a candle to Linkin Park. Or Slipknot for that matter.
    Q: How do you get everyone over 50 to leave a bar?
    A: Play Slipknot on the juke box. It’s like Colt 45, it works every time.

  3. Chris Fiorentino - Sep 23, 2010 at 12:46 PM

    Twinkies. Twinkies. Twinkies. Now please beat the Yankers and Rays and bring big Jim Thome back to CBP. If that happens, I can GUARANTEE Thome will get a standing ovation in his first at bat in game 1. GUARANTEE.

  4. IdahoMariner - Sep 23, 2010 at 1:14 PM

    wow. major flashbacks to sitting in front of the radio. I was AWESOME at hitting record and stop just right.

  5. Tim's Neighbor - Sep 23, 2010 at 1:19 PM

    What’s a tape?

  6. doctorfunke - Sep 23, 2010 at 1:35 PM

    Is that Gleeman up there?

  7. minnesconsin_ad - Sep 23, 2010 at 1:48 PM

    ok, this is pretty much brilliant. some background, though– everyone here in “twins territory” as they like to say, has been suffering all season through the Fox Sports North broadcasts of our twins games. Why suffering, you may ask? The Twins have, after all, been playing good ball. Well, we’ve been suffering at the hands of maybe the very worst baseball song ever written, period. FSN hired a local wanker named GB Leighton to write and perform a “twins territory” song and they play the video during every broadcast. it’s almost unbearable:
    http://www.foxsportsnorth.com/pages/video/?PID=xRjzMShP7KoqTBe1aKdeeJPPlTKKMSNy
    And, to give you an idea of just what a schmuck GB Leighton really is, his last real “gig” was a local Pizza Hut commercial, in which he croons “call 651-488-8888, pizza hut delivery is on the waayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!”

  8. minnesconsin_ad - Sep 23, 2010 at 1:51 PM

    it’s not as if you’re going out on a great limb here, Chris – considering the Twins already visited CBP once this year and the fans did indeed receive Thome with a level of class and grace for which Philadelphia sports fans haven’t been historically noted.

  9. D-Luxxx - Sep 23, 2010 at 2:05 PM

    That song is horrible, but what about Scott Stapp’s song for the Marlins? That was pretty bad too.

  10. okobojicat - Sep 23, 2010 at 2:10 PM

    I’ve watched about a 100 games this year on mlb.tv and not once seen that. Perhaps its a good thing to be a Twins fan and not in their viewing territory.

  11. Son of Shane Mack - Sep 23, 2010 at 2:41 PM

    I’m way younger than 50 and either of those artist will make me leave. Calling either of their garbage “noise” let alone “music” is far too complimentary.

  12. Son of Shane Mack - Sep 23, 2010 at 2:44 PM

    Wow. That was terrible. The violinist was cute, but she was only enjoyable while the music was muted.

  13. bbeer - Sep 23, 2010 at 3:02 PM

    That’s because Scott Stapp sucks

  14. mcsnide - Sep 23, 2010 at 3:09 PM

    That song is horrible, but what about all of Scott Stapp’s songs? They were awful too.
    There, fixed that for ya.

  15. Attymatt - Sep 23, 2010 at 3:12 PM

    “Nothing so lame as that tomahawk chop”
    Somebody finally said it!

  16. BCTF - Sep 23, 2010 at 3:15 PM

    No, that guy is too skinny

  17. minnesconsin_ad - Sep 23, 2010 at 3:23 PM

    you know, I think he’s actually saying “that FONDA-hawk chop,” which is downright genius…

  18. doctorfunke - Sep 23, 2010 at 3:37 PM

    He also plays at giant venues like Keys Cafe.

  19. NicoSamuelson2 - Sep 23, 2010 at 4:41 PM

    The Hold Steady also recorded a Twins-Centric version of Take Me Out To the Ballgame that they used to play at the Metrodome before games. I haven’t heard it at Target Field, though.
    Personally, I think GB Leighton’s Pizza Hut commercial is better than that song he did for FSN.
    Oh, and the Hold Steady are all kinds of awesome (even if they did bolt MPLS for NYC).

  20. Kiwicricket - Sep 23, 2010 at 4:46 PM

    What are you people talking about??? Pride, passion…it all literally oozes out of Scott’s writing. Fantastic. I plan on having one of my children play it at their wedding.

  21. Berlinn - Sep 23, 2010 at 9:22 PM

    was this guys old band lifter puller?
    i saw them at first ave like 10 years ago
    its been a while but the connection was there immediately

  22. jde - Sep 23, 2010 at 10:01 PM

    Yeah, Craig Finn the lead singer and the guitarist Tad Kubler were members of Lifter Puller.

  23. Kelly - Sep 23, 2010 at 11:12 PM

    Thank you! When they finally switched it to O.A.R.’s “This Town” it was like being able to breathe oxygen again.

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