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Man pulls sword over baseball card. Read on if you want; headline pretty much says it all.

Sep 27, 2010, 4:04 PM EDT

Look, this story pretty much explains itself, so let me use the preamble to the usual block quote to ask the media something: How hard would it have been to figure out which card the guy decided to flash steel over? I mean, it’s the ONE thing I want to know after reading this:

Recently, a suspended Washington postal worker was taken into custody
after a dispute with a convenience store clerk over a baseball card
turned ugly after the clerk refused to immediately return the card. The
59-year old man returned to the convenience store with a 3-foot sword
threatening to the employee.

The man then returned to his home a few  block away, several minutes
after returning, the Washington police sent a SWAT team to the baseball
carnoisseur’s layer. The man surrendered his sword after the SWAT team
bombarded his castle with Tear Gas.

Well, I’d also like to know (a) if this really was a castle; and (b) what the heck a “carnoisseur” is, but let’s leave that lone for the moment.

My guess: the guy pulled the sword over a 1989 Fleer Larry Sheets. Because those are the rarest of the rare. Out in public, I mean. They’d have to be, because I’m pretty sure I have the entire run of them in my basement. If the water main breaks, the Larry Sheets cards will be able to soak it up for a month.

  1. BC - Sep 27, 2010 at 4:13 PM

    My guess is a 1987 Oddibe McDowell.

  2. Giant Space Ants - Sep 27, 2010 at 4:24 PM

    I’m curious to know what this guy thinks of Sabremetrics.

  3. The Dangerous Mabry - Sep 27, 2010 at 4:42 PM

    Well done, sir.

  4. Tony A - Sep 27, 2010 at 4:46 PM

    Best laugh of the day…

  5. minnesconsin_ad - Sep 27, 2010 at 4:56 PM

    it was probably an ’82 topps Thad Bosley. he loved thad for his ‘fro

  6. Tim's Neighbor - Sep 27, 2010 at 5:09 PM

    WIN.

  7. scottp - Sep 27, 2010 at 5:10 PM

    “Carnoisseurs” live in “layers,” obviously.

  8. RichardInBigD - Sep 27, 2010 at 5:36 PM

    I see contest opportunities here, Craig. Whoever is the first to correctly guess the player on the card in question (use year as a tiebreaker), gets some ridiculously valuable prize. Like, say, a ticket stub from Dallas Braden’s perfecto (I hear you can still get them pretty cheap). Whaddy think, Shyster?

  9. scatterbrian - Sep 27, 2010 at 5:49 PM

    It’s Washington, so I’m going with the Billy Ripken “Fcuk Face” card.

  10. scatterbrian - Sep 27, 2010 at 5:56 PM

    Oops…Washington, as in the state…..

  11. RichardInBigD - Sep 27, 2010 at 5:58 PM

    Great guess! But I’m gonna go with Frank Howard…

  12. RichardInBigD - Sep 27, 2010 at 6:04 PM

    In that case, I’m gonna switch to Griffey, Jr. rookie card

  13. Utley's hair - Sep 27, 2010 at 6:04 PM

    Since this guy is a “carnoisseur,” is there any chance the 3 foot sword was actually wildly inflated (like the Rangers deal), and it was actually a steak knife?

  14. Utley's hair - Sep 27, 2010 at 6:07 PM

    Ugueth Urbina? Wait, that would have to be a machete…

  15. scatterbrian - Sep 27, 2010 at 10:43 PM

    Geez guys, rather than taking cheap shots maybe you can offer some carnstructive criticism…

  16. Jess_Ball - Sep 28, 2010 at 1:14 AM

    Maybe it was Larry, a friend or a relative. Some players are protective of their own cards. This is why it is tough to pull a Manny card out of a pack. Wouldn’t that auto on the card actually decrease its value with that ink and all? I know they have this featured in the the 1959 or 1960(?) Heritage series. All of the auto’s are written on the card. To capture the flavor of the times.
    But wouldn’t it earn a lower grade because of the acidity from the red sharpie? It would seem the man with the sword was part of an operation larger than himself. Maybe the sword was a gift from Toledo, Spain. Those $9 dull decorations in the metal shops. Those are cool.

  17. doctorfunke - Sep 28, 2010 at 12:43 PM

    Do you think that you can carnvince these animals to do that?

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