Oct 5, 2010, 4:30 PM EST
I should have realized this earlier, but I have finally figured it out: the Rays starting Shields in Game 2 over Game 3 has nothing to do with Rays ownership wanting to favor a Jewish pitcher* with an earlier, at-home start. It was simply an act of religious tolerance.
Why? Because Game 3 is on Saturday. And Saturday, Dude, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that James Shields
doesn’t work, he doesn’t drive a car, he doesn’t f—— ride in a car, he doesn’t
handle money, he doesn’t turn on the oven, and he sure as s— doesn’t f—— pitch!
But if Joe Maddon wants a toe, Shields can get him a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, Shields can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon… with nail polish.
*Probably worth noting that I can’t find anything in the Internet suggesting that Shields actually is, you know, Jewish. But I kind of hope he is if, for no other reason, than I like to picture him ranting like Walter Sobchak.
- Hector Olivera’s camp denies any damage to ulnar collateral ligament 3
- UPDATE: Hunter Pence out 6-8 weeks with fracture in left forearm 21
- MLBPA: leaks are from people “who want to see Josh Hamilton hurt personally and professionally” 20
- Suspending Josh Hamilton for a year would be obscene 145
- Report: MLB panel split on rehab for Josh Hamilton; one-year suspension is in play 45
- Joc Pederson goes 2-for-2 in Cactus League debut 6
- Braves scratch Mike Minor from start with more shoulder problems 6
- Daniel Murphy on Billy Bean: “I do disagree with the fact that Billy is a homosexual” 373
- Daniel Murphy on Billy Bean: “I do disagree with the fact that Billy is a homosexual” (374)
- Suspending Josh Hamilton for a year would be obscene (145)
- Curt Schilling lowers the boom on some men tweeting threats against his daughter (137)
- That facts of Josh Hamilton’s case should not be a matter of public record (94)
- Billy Bean responds to Daniel Murphy’s comments (90)